Matt Banwart
๐ค SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
To any gays in the audience, sorry for the stolen valor.
My parents had me at an old age where the doctor told my mom that she should get an abortion because I was going to come out blind, deaf, and retarded.
Instead, I came out half blind, half deaf, and I'm pretty sure I'm autistic.
I can't afford the test, so I'm taking everyone else's word for it.
I got called out recently by my cousin.
He was like, man, you cry harder over Celebrity Destiny than you do for Grandma.
And I was like, well, did Grandma put out seven platinum albums?
You're the first headliner I saw at, like, 2019 at Dallas Hyenas.
And he gave me, like, the best advice when I asked, like, I wanted to start stand-up comedy.