Matt McCusker

Oh, it would suck if I got one here.

And then you just, you're almost always adrenalized where I think something happens where you're like, your vision just kind of gets, I guess your body's like, yeah, like where's, we got to go into like, you know, super slow motion video game mode so we can see this tiger that's apparently going to kill us.

Yeah.

No, my thing was I'd get POV mode where I'd see my hands and I'd be like, these are my hands?

I'd be like, all right.

It would feel alien to me.

Everything would feel alien and just not, I'm like, that's not mine.

It just felt really weird.

But I just kind of dealt with it, you know, just kind of kept working on the construction side.

It wasn't until I really, like, you know, I went to social work school and I'm like, all right, I'll go to a therapist who I think I'm about to wow with all of my... Did you ever try to, like, run and pass somebody?

Do you ever look at your hands and go, these aren't my hands?

Or, like, catch the tip of your nose and you're like, well, fuck.

But the...

no it's when i started talking to this therapist lady i was like kind of like yeah man it's sick like i don't ever feel anything everyone's got all these problems i don't have any i don't feel anything and she's like yeah that's not good and i was like what and then and then she kind of just like explained it more where it was like yeah like that is that's this and you know that this is actually a thing and you know it's kind of a weird thing too because like they have they've done studies with kids because a lot of kids if you go in a school setting you're like all right the kids were like crazy and you know misbehaving they're the kids who have problems you treat them

Someone did a cortisol test on, like, every kid, and then you'd see kids who were super quiet, but their cortisol would be, like, 9 million because it's just some people just present it.

Yeah.

And it's also, too, I don't like... I'm not, like, presenting myself as, like, you know, I'm suffering with, like, a disease or affliction.

Yeah, I don't really get kind of, like, lost in the sauce of that stuff.

It's just kind of, like...

I was able to find, because I always just had like a weird feeling, kind of like my whole life.