Matt McCusker

Yeah.

Great.

Not a good sign.

But it was just, it wasn't like I was, like, mad or anything.

Yeah, you didn't want to be there.

People still are like, how are you excited about this and that?

I'm like, no, I don't really feel anything about it.

But then I'll watch, like, a Pixar movie and I'll cry my eyes out.

Yeah.

If I see, like, Up, I'm like, oh, my God.

But it would just be, like, major life events where I would just go, well, here I am again, on to the next, like, college graduation, totally flat, nothing.

Just, like, literally nothing at all.

Besides, like, dread and anxiety every now and again.

well is it is it like none and then yes too much nothing and then it's just like well here's here's all that at once and i also started getting a lot it was like dissociation and depersonalization are two different things but they're kind of similar i would that when i first started getting really bad anxiety i would like walk around and like you just feel like not like you're in a movie or like you feel like nothing's real like you're walking around people's fate everything has like a surreal aspect to it in a really creepy unsettling way like not in a visual distortion

Yes, very much, where you're kind of looking and everything has kind of a weird kind of glow, and it's just like, it's hard to explain, but it's like, I remember reading about that and like, oh, that's what it is.

I thought I was just really vibing on some tunes, and I was like, damn, I feel like I'm in a music video right now.

I started smoking weed so young that it would be after technically, but it wasn't like, it was more tied to the panic attacks where it was just like, you start having them.

Then you start being like, what if I get another one?

Oh shit.

Am I getting another one?