Matt Puchitsky

I started going to church, and that means no more masturbating, you know, especially no more jerking off.

In fact, if I'm going to have sex from now on, I only want it to be the Lord's way.

I just wish the priest would, you know, take it easy on me, dude.

I haven't felt a fart since Easter.

That's all I got.

So if you use your mixed race calculator, Puerto Rico plus Honduras equals Mexican.

Cuban if you carry the one.