Matt Walker

I hate one-liners because every time I do one, it takes like nine and a half minutes before I want to do another one.

I had a hoot and a holler watching lived out women cry online about the election results because now they think they have to get their clits cut off and go to concentration camps.

because the orange be the camel.

Just go to Boulder and take a ski trip and get your Hoover Dare, you know?

It's not that hard.

I'm just glad that I don't have to go die to a really neat RC toy in a ditch somewhere now in fucking Ukraine.

That sounds way worse than a ski trip, you know?

I'd much rather stay home and goon to the talk-tard whores when they ain't crying, and cry a little bit myself when I come too soon on accident.

Shit, I'd volunteer at them camps to send these hussies left or right.

Am I right, kameraden?

I mean, fellers.

Yeah, that's what you get, Nina, for, you know, nexing me on Bumble, you bitch.

Yes, sir.

Let's go.

Yes, sir, I grew up there.

It was like two years ago, so 25.

No, I can put one on for you if you'd like.

Yeah, my dad's American, and Germans are fucking retarded.

And where I'm from, there's a bunch of army bases, so there's a bunch of GIs around, so that's who I hung out with.

Yes, sir.