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KILL TONY

#695 - MATT MCCUSKER + LEMAIRE LEE

10 Dec 2024

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

1.111 - 23.456 Brian Redban

Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV and now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates, at TonyHinchcliffe.com.

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23.837 - 69.025 Brian Redban

If you want to check out the Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to DeathSquad.tv. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Hey, this is Redman coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hatchclay!

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69.045 - 111.745 Tony Hinchcliffe

Who's ready for the best fucking night of their life? Thanks to Mr. Brian Redman, ladies and gentlemen. And how about a hand for the best damn band in the land, live in the flesh. Raul Vallejo, Carlos Sosa, Fernando Castillo, Michael Gonzalez. Nachos, Bel Grande, the great Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys, and this is D-Madness live in the flesh right here, right now.

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112.126 - 123.424 Tony Hinchcliffe

Very exciting stuff planned for tonight. How do we feel? You guys happy? Before we get into it, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.

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125.395 - 136.952 Unknown

The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.

143.802 - 163.24 Tony Hinchcliffe

You guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Come on, are you guys with us? Are you guys ready for the best damn show? Brought to you by Game Time, this is Keltoni. Tonight's guests, two of my favorite human beings. One of the greatest guests in the history of the show, the other guy, it is his first time on panel.

163.58 - 202.684 Tony Hinchcliffe

This is a perfect chemistry match, as I bring to you a couple of my favorite comedians, a couple of my favorite dogs. Make some fucking noise for the great Matt McCusker and La Mer. Oh, yeah, baby. Fuck yeah. Matt McCusker. The debut of La Mer. He's already sweating fucking bullets. Look at this guy. Holy shit. Oh, my God. There it goes. Whoa! Oh, my goodness. Hoodie off. The forehead is soaked.

202.704 - 230.226 Tony Hinchcliffe

La Mer, welcome to the Kill Tony universe. Well, thank you for having me, Tony. I came here to black out and hear jokes. I love it. I love it. Let's do it all together. Matt McCusker. That was such a nice nerds pass. Matt McCusker's on tour. Matt McCusker.com. Of course he is one half of Matt and Shane secret pod. What Barry may well be the greatest podcast. Uh,

230.898 - 253.151 Tony Hinchcliffe

Not shot in front of a live audience. La Mer has the panties in the mouth pod. I have only heard of this tonight while asking him if he has a podcast. It is the panties in the mouth pod. Am I saying that right? Yes, sir. We're perverts. Well. lamarelee.fun is his website.

Chapter 2: Who are the guests introduced in this episode?

619.211 - 634.899 Tony Hinchcliffe

Now, something that we forget a lot here is that Drew Nickens is black. It's like, good old white chocolate meet milk chocolate. I like to call Drew Drew Half Nickens. That's what I call him.

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634.999 - 638.365 Drew Nickens

Hell yeah.

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640.285 - 643.869 Tony Hinchcliffe

My goodness. What was the angle of the crash, if you don't mind me asking?

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644.41 - 654.481 Drew Nickens

So he got hit by one, and then he spun out like a cartoon character, and then he got hit by another, and it made him collapse and hit his head really hard, and he rolled into a ditch.

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655.742 - 692.416 Tony Hinchcliffe

Holy shit, ladies and gentlemen. Red Band, making up for 11 and a half years. 11 and a half years, he was the weakest link, and now he's thriving, ladies and gentlemen. This is his moment. I had the Tom Brady roast. He had the first five minutes of this episode. This is a breakout mainstream moment for Brian Redman. We are waiting for it to slow down. It is unbelievable.

692.436 - 714.283 Tony Hinchcliffe

We've never seen anything like it. He's drinking his power juice. This is absolutely amazing. This is a moment nobody will ever forget, especially Drew's brother. So Drew, how's comedy going for you? Enough about your brother.

715.706 - 740.742 Drew Nickens

There is one thing about my brother. So he died, and then two years later, there was a program called Jesse's Place that was made in his name. It's a shelter for young adults 18 to 24, and they get all the help they need. They get medical help, they get job help, and it's in Yakima, Washington. 500 people have come through the doors of Jesse's Place and have been helped through it.

740.822 - 744.887 Drew Nickens

So I just wanted to talk about the Jesse Minute so I could talk about Jesse's Place.

745.027 - 745.728 Tony Hinchcliffe

Amazing.

Chapter 3: What is the significance of Jesse's Place?

2149.949 - 2156.378 Unknown

Well, before this summer, I was running spring shows. So we was doing a lot of spring work.

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2156.739 - 2157.34 Tony Hinchcliffe

You know what I'm saying?

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0

2159.423 - 2171.381 Tony Hinchcliffe

I'm starting to figure out why you have all these jokes about people buying a small amount of weed. Big facts. What do you do for fun, C. Wayne?

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2172.362 - 2177.27 Unknown

For fun, I like to play a little basketball, joke around, you know what I'm saying, troll people.

2177.29 - 2178.872 Tony Hinchcliffe

What did you say after basketball?

2179.974 - 2183.439 Unknown

You said, I like to play basketball. and troll people in real life.

2183.459 - 2184.08 Tony Hinchcliffe

Oh, okay.

2184.321 - 2187.565 Unknown

Yeah, yeah. Not on the internet, though. That's just bullying. Right, right.

Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to comedy and personal experiences?

2938.099 - 2949.415 Unknown

Bro, my brother shaped his shit. Can I make a pretty good point? Now, I have a couple. You have a pretty good head shape. So it wouldn't look bad bald. And also, you got such beautiful eyes, dude.

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2949.715 - 2981.76 Tony Hinchcliffe

I think that's what carries me, bro, is the eyes, honestly. People will notice the eyes and then the chin. Yeah, the chin's not that bad. The chin's not that terrible. But let me tell you something, dude. You do have good eyes. I agree with Lamar. And people are staring at that thing on top of you. You're like, hey, my eyes are down here. Have you ever thought of becoming a Franciscan monk?

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2985.627 - 2988.773 Tony Hinchcliffe

Yeah, I can see that. What is your love life like, Matt Walker?

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2988.813 - 2996.804 LaMare Lee

Are you getting a lot of... I've been with... The girl I'm with, I've known her since second grade.

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2997.905 - 3012.964 LeMaire Lee

I've been with her for 15 years. Wow. I've got four kids. Wow. I got three little girls and a little boy. She had two girls from a previous relationship that I've raised since they were like eight months old and three years old.

3013.825 - 3040.978 Tony Hinchcliffe

A couple real assholes laughing at that. Something that's also a little, I guess, out of the ordinary. I've always lived with my parents. I've never moved out. You still live with your parents? Yes, sir. Wow, you're holding on to that too, huh? Yeah. Do you comb them forward sometimes? All right. Wow. I mean... So you live with your parents, with your wife, and four kids. Yep. Okay.

3041.058 - 3042.121 Matt Walker

My dad's cool as shit, bro.

3042.161 - 3053.543 Tony Hinchcliffe

I mean, for him to allow that to happen is just... I owe my whole life to my dad, bro. Absolutely. Absolutely. I agree. What, uh... What's that like, living with your parents?

3053.583 - 3065.037 LeMaire Lee

It's stressful as shit, dude. My mom is like a Fox News mom. Like, she's fucking... Like, the joke that Shane Gill is about smoking in the house. Like, we could not... This lady would not have stopped smoking in the house if it wasn't for the grandbabies.

Chapter 5: What happens during the haircut discussion?

3640.814 - 3654.499 Tony Hinchcliffe

Scissors? You're not doing scissors, are you? Clippers? Oh, we're going to my place? Oh, you have a shaver. Oh, very good. Absolutely incredible. We have the production here is just incredible. What happened?

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Chapter 6: What special show did Matt and Ari shoot in Las Vegas?

3654.539 - 3672.052 Tony Hinchcliffe

Somebody's getting shaved? You didn't see the guy's hair earlier? It was bad? It looked like it was sharpied on. It looked like I drew it on like that. It looked like one of those shaky guy things with like the black dots that accumulate over something. He had real life Charlie Brown hair.

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3672.453 - 3673.114

That's what he had on.

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3675.254 - 3704.94 Tony Hinchcliffe

Ari, you are a special treat. I don't want to give too much away, but I had the chance to shoot a special show in Las Vegas that is produced by the UFC last week. And I decided to take, of all people, Ari Matty with me for this first pilot episode. And him and I had... So many laughs. Such a great time. So much fun. From the plane ride there all the way to the plane ride back.

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3704.96 - 3710.327 LaMare Lee

I've never met a luckier guy in a casino than you, by the way. I do have a... It's insane.

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3710.527 - 3711.749 Tony Hinchcliffe

It really is.

3712.069 - 3712.73 LaMare Lee

Yeah.

Chapter 7: How did a casino experience turn into a comedic story?

3712.75 - 3715.093 Tony Hinchcliffe

I have a system. I have a thing.

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3715.493 - 3727.789 LaMare Lee

Before we boarded the flight back home, we had like 15 minutes and he just went to a random slot machine, put in like a hundred bucks, got 700. And he was like, I use it as an ATM, you know? Yeah. It's literally insane. I'm never... Bing, bing, bing, bing.

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3727.769 - 3737.991 Tony Hinchcliffe

Just the whole thing going off. People looking, just the wheel of fortune just fucking spinning just again and again. You put $100 in, that shit was gone fast.

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3738.012 - 3744.746 LaMare Lee

Oh, immediately. Like, it did not like immigrants, that machine. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what side... You can feel this is a needy pool.

0

3745.428 - 3745.508

I...

3746.821 - 3762.484 Tony Hinchcliffe

I don't know what side Estonia was on in World War II, but you got bad luck, bro. You got bad karma somewhere in your generations. But we had an absolute fucking blast. The casino literally had to rob me so that I didn't win.

Chapter 8: What are the interesting anecdotes about childhood and family?

3762.464 - 3770.012 LaMare Lee

It was insane, dude. You having a meltdown in a casino, one of my favorite things I've seen in life. I wouldn't consider it a meltdown exactly.

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3770.112 - 3784.626 Tony Hinchcliffe

I would consider it fair justice. You yelled time out for 10 minutes. But what happened? Yeah, it was, okay, I don't know. I don't know roulette. What would you have done? Just been like, thank you, good night? A lady pulled the ball out of the slot red nine.

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3784.906 - 3799.728 LaMare Lee

So he put, I don't know roulette, but he put five roulettes on like one, what is it, number nine did you put? Yeah. Yeah, he put on 509, which is times 36, which is $72 billion or something. Yeah, it's an insane thing to do.

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3799.748 - 3817.159 Tony Hinchcliffe

And I decided one time to take that risk. I go, I'm going to go fucking ballistic here. I'm going to put 500 on red nine. And then what happened? All of my net worth. You are a witness to this. If I tell the story, I feel like no one's going to believe me.

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3817.179 - 3825.571 LaMare Lee

The ball goes, and it's a round nine. The ball is flirting with the nine.

3825.671 - 3832.201 Tony Hinchcliffe

It's literally coming to nine. It starts the trickle, starts bouncing, starts slow bouncing.

3832.522 - 3836.447 LaMare Lee

Just before it gets in, a lady appears, grabs the ball.

3836.808 - 3866.572 Tony Hinchcliffe

Over red nine, win the ball in the hole as it lands in red nine. She goes, re-spin. We're going to re-roll it. And I'm literally like, what the fuck is happening? And Ari's like... I go, Ari, fucking... I was so excited. I literally said, fuck Tony. He was so excited at the thought of me just randomly... Like you said, the universe... Kind of likes me. It was a fucking, it was the dealer.

3866.592 - 3868.153 Tony Hinchcliffe

It wasn't a random woman.

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