Matt Willis

And from the very beginning, I had a problem with it.

I had a problem with any sort of addictive substance.

Like with smoking, I didn't smoke until I was 16 years old because I wasn't old enough to buy it.

I looked too young to buy them.

As soon as I could buy them, I started smoking secretly at 16.

And then suddenly I was on like 20 cigarettes a day at like 17, 18, which was just a weird, but secretly smoking.

With drinking, I was the biggest drinker in any group of friends.

You know, I was from 18, I was like always the first to the pub, the first to the bar.

always getting the extra rounds in, getting sneaky extra drinks in.

From a very young age, I was always the biggest drinker in my group of friends.

And, you know, that was sort of an early warning sign.

And that was like from around 17 to when I stopped, when I was like 41, I was always the biggest drinker.

I was really social.

I loved that aspect of drinking.

And at the same time, I also loved drinking by myself.

And so I would go to the pub, have loads of beers with all my friends, and then I'd come back and I'd need to wind down.

And the only way I could wind down is to sit there watching TV and drink another four beers.

And I did that for like 25 years.

I think I've always, I don't know why, felt like up until sort of recently, like a desire to prove myself, like I didn't fit in.

Even when I was younger, I wanted to sing songs in front of people, like a search for approval.