Matt Willis

I would go to the shops, and I'd be like, I'm not going to drink tonight, I'm not going to drink tonight.

And then it'd be like, oh, I'm just going to the shops.

And I would come back, because if it was just one beer, it'd be fine.

So I'd come back and say, I've just got one can of beer.

yeah and i put it in the fridge would be awesome and i've got some of these non-alcoholic beers as well yeah and i'd drink the the one can of beer and then i'd open one of the non-alcoholic beers because i'm just taking the dog for a walk and i go to the garden where i'd hidden all the other beers tip out the non-alcoholic beer and put in the real beer and come back and it's like that dog got a lot of walks a lot of walks yeah very fit dog it was yeah but not really because you're only walking into the garden but it was it was just like that's the madness that

that addiction takes you you know I was fully you know I was I would have probably at that point chosen alcohol over my wife or my family at that point you know and reasoned with she was trying to control me rather than I was being controlled by addiction I had the same thing many many times I thought I think I think she's getting in the way of this you know she doesn't want me to have fun she doesn't want me to have fun you know and really she just fucking was distraught and loved me

that's the madness isn't it the madness yeah I'd organise this whole thing you know like and that was okay but that was okay yeah her not wanting to drink was her controlling me yeah how fucking crazy is that how fucking crazy and that's one of the greatest things about being free from it and also even then like the fact that you had to think about that yeah and you had to do it and also that wouldn't have been enough you know you'd still go to bed like that's not quite enough yeah that wasn't quite enough yeah it's crazy when you think about all these right when you think about

My father is very moderate.

He has like one can, like one pint of beer or one glass of wine, you know, a couple of times a week.

My mum had definitely, she died about 10 years ago and towards the later part of her life, she was an alcoholic.

Right.

And so I do feel like, part of me feels like it's just...

in some people.

You know, I really do believe in the allergy sort of explanation.

Like, I'm really allergic to cats.

And if I get anywhere near a cat, like, my whole face explodes.

I can't breathe.

And I kind of feel like I have a similar thing with alcohol.

If I have one drink...

I want another.