Matthew Hussey

Who among you doesn't have a sexual side that wants to be expressed because that's part of you?

Who here doesn't just enjoy having a conversation with someone cute

not knowing where it might go.

I think sometimes we lose that when we become obsessed with the goal all of the time.

We lose the expression of ourselves that actually ironically is the thing that leads to the goal if we can access that.

The problem is that playfulness gets lost.

Once we start freaking out about our timeline, we start freaking out we want a family, we're worried that we're gonna run out of time,

you know, we want to get married, we see all of our friends getting married, we're the one who's still left, we think there's something wrong with us, we're starting to worry that it's never going to happen for us.

That kind of anxious, fearful energy robs us of our playfulness.

And now we go on a date as a kind of shadow of the person that we once were when we started this process, as someone taking it very seriously, as someone who, the moment you give an answer on a date that I don't like,

I'm not like I'm on a date with a stranger who just said something.

I'm like, you're wasting my time.

What are we doing?

I gave you an evening and you just gave the wrong answer.

You just gave the answer that means I know you're wrong for me.

Why the fuck am I here now?

I'm mad at you.

But you don't even know this person.

So we lose the curiosity.

We use the play and we get kind of further and further stuck.