Maura

It was a one night thing and English fella over for his friend stag.

He was really sweet, gave me his number, said it was a shame we were from different countries, that he would have liked to see me more.

Like, not again, more.

Implying that it would be more than once.

Anyway, so two months later, when I found out I was pregnant, I rang.

His friend answered, said he was in a coma.

He'd been on his motorbike and there'd been a bad accident.

Cars piled up and he got off to help and was hit by a truck.

The friend said that everyone was shocked how much he was fighting to live, that the doctors were surprised he was still going because of the injuries he'd sustained.

It's a weird thing to say, but I was surprised.

I was proud of him.

He tried to help others and he wouldn't give up.

I thought to myself, you know, he would have made a nice dad.

He was from here, this part of England.

So I decided when I made enough money, I'd come here for a new start, away from Ireland.

So I worked three jobs, part-time jobs,

cleaning offices at night, home help for the elderly, bringing Billy in her pram when I could, bringing Billy with her colouring books and puzzles when she got older.

She was always good as gold, never cried.

And then we came here.

God, I feel so stupid.