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Maureen Dowd

Appearances

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1004.207

Yeah, so he shot up the House. You can still see the gunshots on some of the desks. And he took the gun, and then there was a trial. And the defense attorney asked him how he knew that it was his client's gun. And my dad goes, because I carved my initials on it, which you can see if you look at it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1033.135

He was... My dad was very magnetic and cool. And... Anyway, Washington is one big ball of stress. They need some weed there. I mean, they're ripping it from the inside out.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

105.524

Was that you?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1058.742

No.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1067.768

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1074.116

Everyone's head is spinning. I mean, this wolf pack or brat pack of young doge kids. Yeah. with backpacks and pizza shows up. They had a confrontation today or yesterday at the U.S. Institute of Peace where they didn't want to let them in, and they were trying to sneak in. And, you know, it's scary because it was—I think you— said something.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

109.567

I was going to say, great line.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1105.024

I'm elaborating on it, but it's like if you want to get rid of your stomach, you don't use a John Belushi samurai sword to cut it off. You just use a Zympic. There's a more careful way to do it. I mean, it would be nice to save money and have a leaner government, but these kids show up and they're trying to get into agencies. It's very disorienting because there was no

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1131.021

in the sense of there's no, you know, disclosure agreements. Nobody knows what they're getting. They're getting taxpayers' information. And... A lot of it probably is illegal. And, you know, it's just an insane situation. And Elon Musk, there's a piece about him in the book.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1158.135

When he didn't like Trump. Yeah, when he didn't like Trump.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

116.675

Oh, yeah. Well, there's that.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1169.324

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1172.547

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1176.111

Well, Silicon Valley was liberal and now it's very Republican.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1185.08

And everybody in Hollywood had a Tesla.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1224.401

He's gone very far. But I think the problem is he does not believe in government, so he's perfectly happy to eviscerate government. And he's treating it like a business or something. And it's government. You know, you can't do that. I'm not saying I don't want to get rid of stupid and wasteful things.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1246.7

But the way they're doing it, you know, just imagine Washington and this crazy pack of kids running around getting everyone's information. Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

125.942

Hello.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1275.073

Yeah, Trump is treating it. I used to like this TV show when I was little called Treasure Chest, where Jan Murray would open the treasure chest every week. Remember that?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1285.4

Remember?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1288.424

Yeah. So there's that thrill of them getting into an agency and finding the things that are stupid to cut. But there's more to it than that, you know.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

133.847

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

136.389

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

141.212

Thank God I'm in Bobby Kennedy's America. I don't worry when I get sick.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1583.947

Right. I just don't. Well, like when he had this presidential address. Recently, he had a child there who he said had gotten cancer maybe from chemicals, but then they're cutting the things at NIH that are watching that. Like when he talked to Zielinski today, He said, oh, I want to help you with these children that the Russians have kidnapped.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1612.863

You know, they've kidnapped all these Ukrainian children. But then Doge cut a Yale program which tracks the children and tries to, you know, so this is what's going on. Everybody wants to get rid of waste, but this is a crazy, nobody knows what anyone's doing. Everything's spinning.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

162.847

Well, I had to cancel my first day on the book tour. I was supposed to be on CNN with Caitlin Collins. And, you know, I just slept. But when you're on book tour, it's hard to get enough sleep.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1656.153

That's it, that made me.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1681.082

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1759.892

Well, I know that COVID was hard for all of us, but I do know it was hard for you because I feel like I kept sending you pink ties to cheer you up.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1787.666

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1845.166

I know, I was at my dining room table working by myself for two years. I thought I would go mad. You know, it was a horrible period for the country.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

185.962

I know. You don't like to travel, right?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1856.35

Well, I try, but they just did a crazy six-month redecoration of our office. We haven't been there, but I will be going back after book tour.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1871.834

You don't need to, but I don't like working alone. I mean, if I had known I was going to be working alone so much, I would have become a cocktail waitress. I don't want to be a journalist enough to do it alone.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1889.097

Yeah, that's the whole point. The newsroom. Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1893.94

Yeah, all these kids have not even experienced a newsroom. I don't know how they meet people to date. I don't know how they get mentors. I don't know how they imitate. I used to watch reporters, and then I would know how to do it. I don't know who they modeled themselves on. I think it's horrible for young people. But some of them seem to not want to be in the office, which I don't get at all.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

190.823

Like Larry David is like that. I mean, Europe, what's the point?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1923.561

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1987.603

Yeah, it's fun.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

1990.224

They do the Patrick Swayze leap, right? Don't they dance? Is that the one? Yeah, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2001.75

They do the, yeah, that Patrick Swayze.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2009.494

Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

210.227

I'll do yours.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2114.982

And we're strangers in a strange land, and they're cyborgs. I mean, you know, they have the phone. They're almost like part computer. And they don't, it's funny with journalism because they don't, want to make calls. They'll text someone, but they don't want to pick up the phone.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2150.502

Right. Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2159.298

Now, have you dated someone where you had that divide? Where they were very... Why not?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2234.076

Right. So when I'm covering, let's say I was on deadline writing about the Trump address recently, and my assistant is watching it through his phone. He's not watching the TV with me. And I'm like, let's both look at the TV. But no, that is not going to happen.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

224.468

Right. And then you gave me some advice on your show. Publicly. But if they ran that advice on a loop in dispensaries, that would be good. What was the advice?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2267.399

But there's some filter in there. And I'm like, let's just pay attention to this. But no.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2312.456

We had a huge picture of JFK.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2318.66

Yeah, I often wonder. My father wouldn't, but I wonder. I don't think my mom would, but I can see parts of Trump she would like. She did feel we were sending too much foreign aid and a lot of the things he harps on. And I think she would like, she liked, funnily enough, she became a Republican with Reagan. because she loved Ronald Reagan, especially in a tuxedo. She loved him.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2355.791

But then she loved Clinton because he was optimistic and talked to her. I think she would like the fact that Trump keeps talking to his fans, you know?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2368.196

Yeah, but also he talks to them in a way... Barack Obama or, you know, other, George W. Bush don't talk to fans the way they would talk to their wife or a friend. And Trump does. You know, it's very, he would tell people at rallies anything he would tell Melania, probably more.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

238.001

Well, they didn't. I mean, the problem with when Denver.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2403.311

Well, it's my publisher.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2406.193

Confirm. But my publisher, Trump, called us after the 2016 election. He called the Times, and he came over, and we had a big meeting with him. And he began complaining about me. And the publisher said, Mr. Trump, or President Trump, it's not your fault. It's just your turn. Wow. Wow.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2432.656

Yeah. Oh, I should have used that as the title. Well, I have another shot at it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

245.007

But can I just clear up something, which I keep trying to clear up, but no one believes me. It was a five square chocolate caramel candy bar. I had one half of one square. Everyone said you shouldn't have eaten the whole candy bar because that's like guzzling a bottle of Jack Daniels. But I didn't. But here's the thing. It was a bunch of hippies who suddenly became billionaires.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2473.703

Yes, and I loved your editorial.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2481.724

Yeah, I was at Columbia getting my graduate degree in English literature a couple years ago. Yep, I got it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2489.406

And I was in a class of pre-Renaissance plays, and the teacher, this British guy goes, this woman character, he goes, what is she? And I looked down at the footnotes, And I go, oh, she's a whore. And the whole class, all the students and the teacher were like, and the teacher goes, Maureen, she's a sex worker. Just like I said. Before Shakespeare. Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2516.432

Yeah, no.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2519.573

Yes, it was much more valuable. You know, I didn't have rich parents to pay for it, so it was very expensive.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2532.199

Thank God my time.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2537.542

My time there was before that. And so it was very peaceful. Oh, it was before that. Right before.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2558.044

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2560.505

But he's, it's funny.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2563.267

This is funny. You would like this. Listen, they're cutting words out of, you know, they're saying we shouldn't use certain words. Like there are eight different gender words. But one of the words that they're trying to cut out is prostitutes. And that's such a useful word in Washington. Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2591.837

Yeah, there's so many men.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2634.167

Oh, well, you know, originally Truman Capote wanted it to be Marilyn Monroe, which would have made, well, it would have made more sense because she's supposed to be kind of a hillbilly and a singer. Right, right. You know, and because it was Audrey Hepburn, they completely whitewashed what she did for a living. So you just thought she was a party girl.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2681.92

Okay, so they give her... So you didn't believe the washroom thing.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

274.954

And they didn't want to put in a speed bump for new people where they labeled it with instructions or had a thing on a loop like your instructions where they said, if you take an edible, you've got to wait an hour and a half because that's how long it takes to kick in. But the funny thing was they...

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2790.167

But tell me what other movies you've been watching.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2808.332

Oh, I love that. Except for her wig. It makes her look like George Washington.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2814.635

Yeah, I love Barbara Stanwyck. She's that cute. She was my dad's favorite actress. She has a sexy way about her.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2872.632

Yeah. Because it's always...

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2875.694

It's a great plot. Yeah. The woman's a vixen and the guy's a sap.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2891.86

You've got to watch Out of the Past. That's my favorite.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2898.636

Yes, but it gets a little twist at the end. It's Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas, our old friend, and Jane Greer. It's the perfect film noir.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2912.041

Yeah, I based my whole... When I started in journalism, it was mostly men, and I was terrified. So I would watch film noir to see how the women kind of dominated, you know, and take tips from them. Not as a femme fatale, but as... somebody, you know, they would always come in and say something like, quite the hacienda, or they'd say something that would put the men back on their heels.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

2939.55

So I wanted to be coached by these very strong women.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

297.153

They put up, they hired a model who looked like me and put up billboards all over Denver with the message. Oh, that's hysterical. Something like, don't be like Mo, go slow. Wow. With, like me with my head in my hands. That's hysterical.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3001.787

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3004.629

But she didn't mean it, Bill. But they're not.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3018.51

Oh, my God, wait.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3020.331

I love you giving the plot of classic movies to another.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3030.113

This is like masterpiece theater, sort of.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3087.948

It's like, you know, this plot goes back to Macbeth. Macbeth had a nice boss, but the wife said, no, you've got to kill him. Take his job. You're right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3104.495

No.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3115.282

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3119.664

Yeah. This is my favorite genre.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3127.385

And there's that funny scene with the little girl.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

317.567

I have a picture of it in my office.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3174.268

And then she doesn't identify him because she said it was a bald man. Remember?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3199.096

Yes.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3218.409

What is your all-time favorite movie?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3222.61

Wow. So you didn't think Shakespeare in Love should have won the Oscar?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3235.672

Yeah. See, now we're going to have our disagreements.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3241.411

And I have an interview with Tom Stoppard in here.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3245.113

Yeah, and I told Tom Stoppard how much I loved it. It's in the book, and even he didn't seem to defend it that much.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3264.303

Yeah, my dad was in World War I. No. Yeah. Well, he was 61 when I was born. Oh, right. Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3271.897

So there's still time, Bill.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3276.621

There's time.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

328.263

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

330.206

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

333.79

Yeah. Well, I actually got the loss change there because all I thought was that they should give you better instructions. I didn't want to slow them down, but they were all furious at the idea that they would be slowed down. But a lot of new people were coming in and older people, and they just needed to tell them how to do it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3373.596

Did she love that?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3379.753

Okay, so when I was 13, my brother took me to see Hamlet in, you know, our park in D.C. And I immediately decided Hamlet was my boyfriend. Then it turned out that he was the worst boyfriend in literary history. Like a few you commit suicide and he treats her terribly.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3409.374

Yeah, I think that explains a lot. But in the meantime, I did fall in love with Shakespeare, so I love Shakespeare in Love because of that.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3423.206

I loved it. I just thought it was super clever. I love Tom Stopper.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3429.688

Oh, yeah. Well, there's that.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3438.191

Well, I didn't use it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3443.173

I am a Shakespeare-loving drug addict. But, you know, I did one of these pieces on Judi Dench, and I loved her, but I didn't use it because she... had Harvey Weinstein's name tattooed on her bum. And I'm not sure she would want to read about that now.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3461.375

Judi Dench. Why? Because he provided her with a lot of great roles, including that role as the queen in Shakespeare in Love, where she was only on screen for 12 minutes and she won an Oscar.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3484.07

Well, there's a story about Uma Thurman and Harvey in the book.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3488.953

And it's funny because a lot of guys.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3492.174

And a lot of guys have told me they read it twice.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3506.341

It was a complicated story, though, because it involved Quentin also. But, you know, they're still friends. But she wanted, you know, she wanted to get out this story of how he had been careless in the Carmen Ghia scene and killed Bill. And she was hurt by that. But then he talked about it and said she was right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3538.345

Yep.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3547.721

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3551.023

How many movies were you in?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

357.565

I still want you to tell me how to do it. I still haven't gotten back on the horse, so to speak.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3573.407

What did that feel like?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3597.087

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3609.894

Mm-hmm.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3616.034

Was that set in D.C.?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3620.361

Oh, wow.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3669.297

I am going to see it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3681.026

Well, you know, this is funny. When Trump was thinking of running for president in, like, 2015, shortly before he did, he was vying to play the president in Sharknado 3. Yeah. True story. That is a true story. I'm sure. So it was one, you know, leader of the free world.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3705.719

He, well, when I promote, I had a book about Trump and Hillary in that election, the year of voting dangerously. And I was on Michael Smirconish at CNN on Saturday morning at 9 o'clock, and I'm thinking... Who is up watching this at 9 o'clock? And Trump was. And I was critical of him. And afterwards, I ran into Jared Kushner and Ivanka at a dinner party in D.C.,

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3738.759

And Jared took me aside and he said, you know, my father liked you, but now he thinks you've gone crazy. And I said, well, I think he's gone crazy. And Jared said, well, if you do two tweets in a column or two columns in a tweet, you can get back on his good side. Oh, God. And I was like, no, that's not going to happen.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3774.501

Yeah. We were bargaining over it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3788.512

Yeah. We have a journalist dinner, David Bradley. Hmm. And it's, you know, he's a Victorian gentleman. He doesn't make his guests feel uncomfortable. So they feel safe there. And they invite newsmakers. And it's a bunch of journalists. And then we talk to them and, you know, that kind. It wasn't, I don't.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3840.439

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

393.333

Well, what happened was, yeah, so I was with a girlfriend, Alessandra Stanley, and she... And I did this tiny bit of this candy bar. And we were suddenly, you know, well, we were fine. Then nothing happened for an hour and a half. So we figured we'd get a glass of wine and go to bed. So then suddenly... That's the big mistake. Yeah, I felt paralyzed, but I also felt super paranoid.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3960.382

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3963.044

Yeah. But this is what is so crazy about watching Trump because he's got these two sides. So one side is kind of scary because it's authoritarian. He and Elon are trying to undermine the judiciary and Congress. You know, Congress is in charge of these agencies, not these Doge kids. And the press, Elon keeps... saying that the people on X are the press now and legacy press is dead.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

3991.26

So in a way, like Dick Cheney, they're messing with checks and balances. But on the other hand, Trump still has that wacky, kind of funny side where he goes down and takes over the Kennedy Center. And now he wants to give the awards to dead people. He wants to give the awards to Elvis, Babe Ruth, and Pavarotti.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4013.63

And then he goes down, he starts making this speech about how he thinks they should do cats, which was also George W. Bush's favorite play. Really? Yes.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4030.441

But Trump says at first he didn't get it, but then he began to look at the beautiful bodies of the men and women in gold tights, and he got mesmerized. He's giving this kind of semi-homoerotic thing. He did say, well, I like the women better. But then he's got that wacky side, so he's redecorating the Oval Office and making it like Mar-a-Lago. He hasn't brought up the gold.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4068.391

And he put gold leaf around the famous mantelpiece in the Oval Office that you know from TV. And he wants to hang a chandelier and they're trying to talk him out of it. And he won't be talked out of it. You know, he wants to make it like Mar-a-Lago. And, you know, I think that you see it actually, I think in the SNL impersonation, that that wacky humorous side is what makes people less afraid of

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4095.55

Of the authoritarian side.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4175.766

Who says it? Types?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4182.832

That was a good one. Well, it's interesting because, you know, I have my sister Peggy on book tour with me and she's a Trump voter and a Republican. And all the brothers, right? Yes, but it's interesting to see things from her point of view. But even she kind of rolls her eyes and says she wishes he wouldn't keep saying he won the election.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

419.851

I was sure that the hotel officials were going to come in and kick me out of the room. And then we were sort of both...

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4204.788

She doesn't want him to sell gold sneakers and tacky things when he's president. So, you know, there are a few things she's objecting to.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

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She said to tell you that she saw one of your early shows and it was the funniest thing she's ever seen. I mean, my family is in love with you because you are not just on one side or the other. You just say it as it is.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

429.497

paralyzed for 12 hours and then when i got up for some reason i took a glass of water and walked over to my computer and poured it into it what yeah i like killed my computer i forgot to put that in my piece but um well that to me speaks of some sort of psychological thing that was i wanted to kill well yes wouldn't do what i mean i don't be able to be sigmund freud to see that

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4355.322

Right. Well, so my dad was so excited the night Harry Truman was elected, he stayed up all night. My brother was so excited the night Trump was first elected, he stayed up all night. And Democrats weren't paying attention to what happened here with the working class. And also, they just stopped being any fun.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

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I mean, they made everyone feel that everything they said and did and every word was wrong. And people don't want to live like that, feeling that everything they do is wrong.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4390.907

No, I think.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4392.607

I mean, I think Democrats are just in a coma. They haven't figured out.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4402.471

Oh, right.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4404.892

Right.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4470.448

It was, I think the Democrats just got to have a suffocating persona where you just couldn't do anything or say anything that wasn't to be criticized.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4487.253

Was that you?

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4489.073

Oh, really? I was going to say, great line. You don't remember it? No. Not at the moment. I'm scared. I'm too scared.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4499.836

I'm scared of TV and you and everything. Me? I'm scary? Well, because I know if you chose to, you could eviscerate me.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4513.885

Oh, that's true.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4517.248

This is a good film noir. Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4530.801

I can't hear my heart beating.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4536.242

We're going to have a drink.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

455.851

But you know what I suspect, but I never proved, was that I think they were using a lot of medicinal level at that point. So you didn't quite know what you were getting. I think it might have been a little stronger even. And also they were disguising it as candy. Remember little kids were, and that was all I said. I said, don't, now you're in the game.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4560.239

And now the right is kind of getting like that. They're kind of getting into cancel culture. I told you about the words.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4591.785

They are so... I'm shocked about that. I was watching Ted Cruz on TV today or yesterday. I was thinking, why did he come back, you know, after Trump... In fact, my sister Peggy got one of the few apologies that Trump ever gave because I was interviewing him and he's like, how's your sister? He knew she was a Trump voter.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4615.583

And I said, she is not going to vote for you because you've been trashing Heidi Cruz and talking about women in these polls. horrible terms. And I said, why don't you just apologize to, you know, for that? That was horrible. And there was this long pause. And finally he's like, okay, you know, I'm sorry. I said that about her.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4694.025

Yeah, but that's what I love. I love that you talk to these people, and that's what's horrible about being in Washington now, because everybody's in their trenches, and it's just like we picked up the Civil War where we left off or something.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4742.504

What did you think of him?

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4748.112

Yeah, my piece in the book is very... Yeah, yeah, right, right. No, I mean... I still think he's going to be the one, if there's killer robots or killer AI, he's going to be the one to save us. I'm sure nobody wants to hear that, but... Well, to give him his due.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4767.824

Mm-hmm.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

477.523

Don't disguise it as candy and just give people instructions.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4772.342

He called it summoning the demon.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4778.104

But he also wanted to be an advocate for carbon-based beings. He wanted to be humanity's advocate. That's why he started this whole Mars thing. He said he wanted to die on Mars, just not on impact.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4823.902

Trump and Elon remind me of like, You know, people always ask me if they're Shakespearean. But I think they're more like Greek gods, you know. They're sort of capricious and cool and they do what they like. It's like watching Zeus and Dionysus, the god of fertility. You know, it isn't like watching Shakespeare.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4848.066

Yeah.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4855.402

Well, he's very busy, Bill.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

487.49

Oh, yeah, I want to go over there.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4889.796

No, you were talking about movies that are out of date.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4893.638

Yeah, like Advising Consent, where you see both parties mingling at dinner parties and solving problems. And Gene Tierney is a lovely hostess. No, people do not do that. They're in their corners.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

492.874

Yeah, my researcher is here with me, and he's still upset he didn't take, Woody Harrelson was giving out gold, like gold finger pot. gold foil joints the night of your show in DC. Can you get him one of those?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4926.428

Yeah.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4938.533

But do you think that Democrats should fight fire with fire and get a showman? I mean, it's funny because Elon Musk... Well, Fetterman is who I suggested. Elon Musk was known as the P.T. Barnum of sci-fi. Sci-fi P.T. Barnum. And then Trump is P.T. Barnum. But do you think... I mean, you know, I interviewed George Clooney. I had an interview with him. And I'd always heard people say he was charming.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4962.362

And I was like, no. I'm sure he's not that charming. And he gave me a five-hour interview. So day went to night. So, you know, yeah, the guy is charming. I said to him, what do you think of running? Because basically the Democrats need an attractive host body to stuff all their issues into that people will be drawn to.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

4991.619

No, I know. I know, but I still think people are drawn to celebrities. Oh, so your interview with Josh Shapiro was great. Oh, thanks. I had never really heard him talk that much. He was so appealing. And that, you know, I was watching it with my sister today, and she said I would vote for him. I mean, that's what the Democrats need.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5015.918

Yeah, they need someone who could lure people back to their party.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5075.269

And do you like Gavin, too, no?

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5097.036

Right. And unlike Obama, he was willing to go spar on Fox.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5123.194

Well, I mean, there are people who think because of Kamala having Beyonce and Taylor and people on her side that Democrats should just stay away from celebrities altogether.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5148.578

But they've got to find someone. who's alluring and, you know. Charismatic. Yeah. I mean, I thought Josh Shapiro and Gretchen Whitmer would have been a better ticket.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5170.449

Right.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5181.24

Yeah. He was out front on a lot of things.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5205.18

Who else do you like?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5241.461

Yeah, you know, the way he dresses in Congress is quite startling because it was only in the last few years they allowed women not to wear, like they used to be banned for sleeveless.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5258.45

Yeah, one of my former assistants, who's a big political writer, star now, Ashley Parker, Trump trashed her recently on social, his social. Truth social. Truth social, yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5275.215

Yeah, yeah. But she went in there one time. I forget if she had on cowboy boots or a sleeveless blouse or something, and they told her, you know, she couldn't.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

532.522

David Zasloff.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5347.212

But, you know, yeah, Washington was very titillated recently because Lauren Boebert, after some big thing, got in a cab with Kid Rock. And also, I was going to ask you, do you have a crush on Cristino, given how you feel about dogs?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

536.463

No, I'm kidding.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5382.848

They used to be kind of the sexy, fun party, and they're not.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5398.299

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

540.765

Yeah, I love him, too.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5400.601

Yeah.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5408.293

Right, exactly. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5419.733

No.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5424.715

Oh, Mark Garagos.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5426.376

Yeah, who was one of the, what, Susan McDougal's lawyers.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5438.902

Oh, I love that.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

545.687

And Mark Thompson, our old CEO.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5457.902

Exactly. So that's not the mountain anyone's going to die on. We're happy to see them leave, but then you're unraveling the Constitution.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

548.708

Yeah, Mark Thompson, our old CEO, is now running CNN.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5493.014

Right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5495.736

That's another good film noir kind of thing, Double Jeopardy. Have you seen that with Ashley Judd?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5505.784

Her husband.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5508.347

Her husband frames her for his own.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5511.604

murder and she goes to prison but then one of the inmates tells her that because of double jeopardy she can get out and kill her husband and she does right well not quite there's also one called eye of the beholder i love that i explain it he's he falls in love with her because he's looking at yeah i haven't seen it recently but i thought it was really good and atmospheric

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

554.13

He's a great guy. Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5543.572

Vaguely, yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5555.026

Yeah, I love that plot.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

556.155

We have to trash someone soon. We love everyone. Oh, you have my picture with Chico. I love that so much.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5571.627

Yes, I did. Isn't it funny? My mom begged me before that book came out. She goes, please. change it from a question to a declarative sentence meant. She wanted me to call the book Men Are Necessary. I was like, Mom.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5588.026

Yeah, she wanted me to call it Men Are Necessary. And I said, Mom, you know, they're going to be fine with it. They get that I'm teasing them. And she's like, no, they'll have their feelings hurt. Sure enough, no man would pick up that book. And I realized, no, always listen to your mother. I should have called it Men Are Necessary.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5612.388

Because you are. Especially you.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5632.713

Wow.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5634.793

Bill.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5640.774

No, I like all these weighty quotes.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5683.864

Yeah, okay.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5689.608

No.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5725.112

Oh, my gosh. That was the... That was the end.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5755.41

Did you ever have a situation like that where someone said one thing and you were just totally turned off?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5764.014

Mm-hmm.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5807.334

I remember this. I had this very, very good friend, Michael Kelly, and he had to move to Cincinnati for a couple years to be a reporter, and he didn't know anyone. And he was trying to date, and he finally went out on a date with this really cute girl.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5823.188

And somehow in the course of the evening when he was ordering wine, he realized she thought that burgundy wine was burgundy because it was colored burgundy. And he said to me, I had to decide if I was going to say anything or I was going to be very, very quiet because I really needed to go home with her. So he was very, very quiet.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5849.757

Mm-hmm.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5851.854

But he was an onophile. He loved wine, so I don't think it had a long-term future.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5872.731

Yeah, that's the right word, right?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5891.788

That sounds like a Woody Allen line.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5893.689

Like the end of Annie Hall. They need the eggs.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5920.238

Yeah, no. I would love to be married.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5923.759

I think I would be really good at it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5971.435

Well, there's a great part in the Al Pacino piece in the book where, you know, I'm pressing him, and he did not like to talk about his love life, and I'm asking him why he never got married, and He said, well, if he could find someone who wouldn't mind living down the block, he might do it.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

5992.187

Didn't Bette Davis or some of these people like Sartre, they had apartments next door, but he wanted someone down the block.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6014.022

Well, there is one person in the book who's like you and has absolutely no interest in marriage or kids, and that's Ralph Fiennes. And it was interesting to talk to him about that. He's a very interesting combination of... He's a real gentleman, like I went to the wrong restaurant and missed half our interview. And he said, don't worry, we'll do it tomorrow morning at breakfast.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6042.517

And very few movie stars would do that.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6047.962

No, but he, you know, he is also has a kind of a hedonistic streak. He's a bit of a libertine. And he said he was the oldest and he raised, you know, Guy in Shakespeare in Love was his brother. And he said he got rejected for Shakespeare in Love because Julia Roberts didn't fancy him. Hmm. But he just has, you know, just no interest.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6103.617

Yes. A Nazi.

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6112.619

You're right.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6115.241

But you should have him on this show. He's a really fascinating guy. Please.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6121.147

He's friends with Andy Cohen. And Andy Cohen said he loves all kinds of women, whatever age, whatever shape. Wow. You put a woman in front of him and he can appreciate her. Oh, wow.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6143.312

He's fun.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6147.895

Yeah, let's have a party. But I did want to tell you that people keep asking me what Shakespearean character Trump is like, and I finally found a similarity. You know how in Richard III... Richard is very malevolent, but he's funny. He's the hunchback. Yeah, he gets the audience on his side because he's funny. And he walks up to the stage and he tells the audience what bad thing he's about to do.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6175.483

He brings them in on it, but with humor. And I feel like Trump is like that, you know, and that binds him. Like a lot of audiences love Richard III, even though he's doing terrible things. He wants to kill his nephews and, you know, but... If you bring, if you make them feel like your confidants, you know, that can take you a long way.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6205.998

Good night, sweet prince.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6213.621

I'm so happy I didn't faint.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6218.602

That was fun.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6229.546

Anything you want to do, that would be fun.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6236.363

powerful people is that what was the place the grill or what was the place that's like the power i want to go to the power it was like a place called duke seabirds and they were all they were all steak houses of course we had a man are making decisions i mean steak at lunch yes women are over steak at lunch yeah steak and decisions we had our day now men are in charge

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Maureen Dowd | Club Random

6265.606

went in five minutes i know i was afraid to drink but now

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

661.679

I got it in 95.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

667.406

I did a story, it's more of a column, not one of those pieces, but about, remember, I trashed arry at the white house for he was criticizing you for that comment i i trashed the bush white house when they were criticizing you about um you know during the iraq war when or it was sorry it was after 9-11 when oh when they fired me it's so funny maureen you know like

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

810.724

Wow. That's why people love you. People ask me about you all around the world when I travel. World.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

818.968

Customs agents. Really?

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

821.991

Because people want someone to just tell it straight, not be spinning for one side or the other.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

838.764

Yeah.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

893.664

That is a great story.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

897.432

Oh, I love that, though.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

904.796

Ireland has changed a lot. You know, they had a gay Indian.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

911.88

Yeah. Crime minister.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

936.641

I did one of these pieces on her.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

939.282

She was great. I mean, she was...

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

973.185

Yeah, I was born there.

Club Random with Bill Maher

Maureen Dowd | Club Random

982.413

No, he was a D.C. police detective who was in charge of Senate security. Got shot. For 20 years. He didn't get shot. He captured the gun of—he ran— from the Senate to the House and tackled and took the gun away from one of the Puerto Rican terrorists.