Maya Umemoto Gorman

I literally, the most evil person I've ever dated in my whole entire life, like genuinely gave me my first panic attack when I saw them again in person for the first time because they did me so dirt, nasty, crazy, bootsy fucking bellows, like holy fucking shit.

Like that actually, it literally sent me straight into Christianity.

Like I became a Christian for fucking real page.

Oh yeah, for real.

for real page.

Yeah, for surely, for surely.

Because of that MF, like dead ass.

Um, and said some nasty evil shit to me on our first date.

And I still like, was like,

Does anyone want to talk about going on a date with someone that calls you so many times they freeze your phone?

Remember when someone could call you so many times it would freeze your iPhone?

And text you so many times it would freeze your iPhone?

When you get one of those MFs and you still go back in the ring, it's like...

How were we to know?

And we, and that's what I mean, y'all.

That's what I mean.

Thank you for sharing your story.

And like one day I'll share mine.

And like, we'll just like LMFAO.

First off, love you so much.