Chapter 1: What are the highlights of the podcast's two-year anniversary?
Guys, have you ever met a two-year-old before?
What? What? We're two years old. Oh, my God. forgot whoa what the hell has it really been two years dude it's been two years damn i know guys thank you for the best two years of our fucking life that is crazy it's just fucking nuts it is fucking it is yeah well that's that's i can't even believe it wow guys thanks for being here for two whole years like that's crazy time flies like we started
yesterday dude it feels like we yeah it feels like we hit a year like last week no genuinely it's like time has been flying something nasty and fierce nasty and fierce that's really crazy um but genuinely you guys thank you so much for just like again the best two years of our lives I feel like we've just grown into this podcast so fast and our community has grown so much since the beginning.
And if you've been following us since the beginning, you would know that we used to do a little more frequently. We haven't been doing these as much for a multitude of reasons.
Right, but we hear your cries.
But we hear your cries because y'all have things to tell us. Right, right, right, right, right, right. One of our earliest episodes that like did super, like kind of put us on the map a little bit. Yeah. Was, you know. The hookup stories. The hookup stories. Raw times. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. And y'all be having stories where you hook up with people. Y'all have stories.
And hey, what can we do but honor a tradition? I guess.
What can we do but honor a tradition of horror?
And just, I know I was about to say, literally like watch the light leave my eyes.
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Chapter 2: What memorable hookup stories are shared in this episode?
Y'all didn't hear what I said, and I just want to say I'm sorry for saying it. What? What did you say? When the green goblin mask was up, I said Wakanda forever. Because it kind of go back to the Green Goblin mask. We know what it looks like. Right, we've seen it. Wait, does it not kind of resemble? It's kind of feline, I guess.
Wakanda? I mean, it's a mask. Oh, that's not what they did either. So it's just like, no, they go like this. Yeah, and then they hold it. They don't do that bounce off shit you're doing. So put some respect on that shit. That was like way campier than I remember. Also, can I say something? When I went to go order a couch, still talking about it.
When I went to go, mind you, when I went to go order a couch though. Two years. Baby, no designs on fabrics anymore. They had like a couch that was like that, that had like a little like fabric situation. I was like, oh period. Like I would love a couch that has like, you know, that like light wall. you know, it might be considered kind of grandma-y, but like that like very patterned fabric.
And he was like, oh, we don't even make that no more. Cause nobody orders it.
What? You have to get it upholstered. He's an upholsterer though.
You need to go to Antiquica. Well, but he was telling me, he was just like, nobody, like not enough people buy it anymore. So warehouses don't even have the fabric. I'm like, but that's so, cause the one that I was looking at was like, it was all one color. Like it was kind of like a nude, but it had like these really pretty like swirls and shit. Damn, we done lost our sparkle.
Yeah.
well it's fucking conservative as hell well i'm sure there's some conservative houses let us know if you have the if you have the bus down if you would so i mean her shit was giving floral pattern on floral wall bitch like yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever amen amen i don't remember girl because he could see her damn floral room from fucking three feet away like what
Her shit should have been camouflage. Should have been neutrals. Okay. Voice message.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts react to disturbing hookup tales?
I would have literally had to like call his parents. Like I literally would have had to be in his phone. Like, okay, like, I don't know.
um the clapping that is the y'all and y'all don't like no no y'all gotta get us age restricted which honestly yeah honestly we might go ahead and do that ourselves let me be serious just kidding um i will say not the same thing but one time i went on a date with another belgian guy and we went to this restaurant and she did us was like oh you guys siblings icked me out
hmm ached me out microaggression but i did get icked out like i was like no and honestly i will never be able to hang out with this person now and like not think that you know what i mean like sibling rivalry siblings are dating gross mode okay well awesome way to start this awesome awesome way to start thank you for sharing We're going to have to bleep that. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Just saying their first and last name. I'm like, we'll see. The point is that it's not. Sorry, but it was just like, because, you know, like. Just go ahead and bleep it and cover her mouth. Like, just, y'all, please. My friend don't know.
Hi, girls. Love the pod. I listen all the time. So basically, I'll just keep you long story short.
it was nothing serious like it was just so you know we were just chatting whatever um so eventually we planned to meet up and like he was just like oh like just come to mine i was like okay bet so i went over there the vibes are cool the vibes are great like we're getting along we're talking whatever whatever So we get to cooking up, doing a one-two, whatever, and I hear a knock at the door.
And I'm like, the neighbors know your name? What's going on? So he goes and answers the door, whatever, whatever. I hear some voices. I'm like, what's going on? So long story short, he has a kid. It was his baby mother at the door, and she was dropping the kid off. And I think she suspected that somebody was over here. That's why she did that. I don't know, but...
He left the kid in the living room, put on his show, I guess. And I was just like, what's going on? Like, you know, this would be okay if I was previously having a child, but I was not. And he just felt like, oh, he was like, oh, I just put on his show. Like, he's good. Like, we can keep going, you know.
So basically he wanted to continue hooking up while Mook Mook was in the living room watching Cocomelon. Like, I'm not doing that, love. I'm not doing it. So he was banished and never spoke to him again. Like, that was crazy.
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Chapter 4: What lessons can be learned from a listener's hookup experience?
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Chapter 5: What does the podcast say about the impact of love bombing?
But honestly, I just don't know, bro. I don't know because I stopped dating men a good while ago.
And release them.
And I just need to let you know, as someone who... essentially is not dating any cishet men that's any straight cishet men that's for damn sure i'm not fucking dating like instant instant write-off i don't give a fuck if you were literally raised on like a like literally 30th century woman like i don't give a fuck bitch i do So like, honestly, maybe it's time to wake it up.
You say 30th century woman, what'd you say? A 20th century woman. Raised by a 20th century? Wait, what'd you say? It's a A24 movie. Oh, I'm sorry. Where it's like, it's like a group of like, it's like from different ages. Raising this one teenage boy so he doesn't become a piece of shit.
Okay, and I will say as a girl who is, you know, dating cis het men like that, I do care about that part.
No, I do too. I'm saying for my personal self, I am already just like, I am writing y'all off. I am. And I don't even like y'all for real, so it's just like, I don't. I don't. And I'm sorry. And I'm happy for you. And I'm sorry that I'm a big freaking lesbon. I'm sorry. Don't be sorry. Why are you apologizing? I'm sorry.
As a girl who unfortunately is dating cishet men, I'm just like, listen.
fat ass and big titties we need to be serious no like that's some shit that like no because and i will say like to that point you know like as a girl who like do be dating cishet men but also like actually hates men like and i've learned this through dating men that i actually have a deep i have a deep core distrust and hate for men it's a tight ship it's a tight ship honestly don't even say fat ass jokingly don't no then i'm mad see how i'm mad
i get very angry what's funny about a fat ass and big titties and big titties is something that honestly that's not for y'all that's what i mean that's not for y'all that's what i mean about knife point bro i will genuinely rob you of your earthly possessions to remind you that in an instant someone with a fat ass and big titties can take it all away because that's not for y'all that's for the girls in the days
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about dating experiences in college?
Write this down for advice. I would say send me the movie ticket. Next time, ask for the movie ticket and next time ask what you're seeing. Don't let them surprise you with that bullshit.
But that's what's really crazy is like why do we have to do that? Like why would I presume... It's the jungle out there. Like, even if it was like your, I'm genuinely like flabbergasted because I'm like, even if it was your friend, like imagine if I literally was like, Hey guys, come over for dinner. And y'all got there and I had ingredients late. How nice. Can y'all make some shit?
Are you fucking kidding me? And that must've, y'all must've, y'all must've been smoking that donkey Kong or something because I can only choose to believe that he hit that loud and like got confused and Like, he, like, hit the bong and was like, are you making the chicken or what? Why the fuck are you high as shit making fried chicken?
I can only assume he accidentally got one of them key fucking pre-rolls, like, had the wax on that shit and hit the blunt so many times that he literally was like, wait, we're at your house, right? And you're making the chicken. Because outside of that, there's genuinely no logical explanation.
First off, if you're high. right let's let's let's put on the let's put on the the filter of being high okay you're the filter of being high i can't even hear fucking nothing bitch i can barely put some shit in the microwave so how the fuck am i going to actually it's just like absurd like it's like so you fried chicken like no thigh girl
Save that.
You have to make that a skit. That is genuinely one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my whole entire life. He had you fried chicken. Like he had a bean bag in front of him. And honestly, girl, shout out that you knew, A, how to make fried chicken.
Yeah, because mama, I would have been like, baby, I guess we ain't eating. No, and like. We are, I don't know how to make fried chicken. Why would you think that I can make fried chicken? Quit.
No, I would literally be like, I'd be like, girl, I can make you a bacon chicken thigh, but I can't, I've never fried chicken. I'm not actually, let's pull it all the way back.
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Chapter 7: What are the funniest moments shared during the episode?
butter my favorite flavor i mean i would say right now it's peanut butter and jelly like that one is taking it so crazy it's so good like i literally had a whole other segment talking about it on the podcast like y'all know i'm addicted i'm obsessed barebells protein bars are available at retailers like target walmart vitamin shop and gnc or use code upstairs for 15 off at barebells.com
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Chapter 8: What closing thoughts do the hosts have about relationships and dating?
Real. And I was like, oh, yeah, like, I'm nervous. Like, no. And she was, like, hiding in the corner with the camera. Like, not she didn't record him, obviously. But, like, recording me on the date was there the whole time. And, like, dead ass. Then we had, like, a post-game interview. Love. And he was obviously fucking chopped, screwed, and, like...
But I'm just like, damn, I was like, so like the way I would never in a trillion. That's like some Molly. I don't know that girl's name.
Oh, my God. Yeah. What do you think about the girls? You'd be like going on dates and they come back and they say everything on TikTok.
For real. I mean, here's the thing, though. This is the shit that gets me. It's like that the Lulu shit where like. I feel like the dating content and stuff is like, you know, it's really, I feel like, you know, when you're single, it's like encouraging sometimes to like see people's like journey and stuff.
But I think like when some people like unload the clip in such a way where like, oh, what's her fucking name? Molly something. I don't know. I was watching her shit for a second. I was a hate watcher. Then I was kind of like a watcher watcher. And now I just am like, whatever.
But she's like the Lululemon for real in the sense where she'll be like, okay, well, so he said this and like he did this and like, I don't know. So like, maybe I think that like, and I'm just like focused on how I feel like the dating content that resonates with me the most is when people are like on the date, these things happen, but this is how I left feeling. You know what I mean?
Because I'm like, when you're like analyzing what they did, I don't feel, I'm just like, it's a little too like meta. Especially when you're still actively dating them. Like, I don't know. My friend Kenzie did like a dating series where she talked about like, she did like, she was doing like 10 dates in like 30 days or something like that.
And like, she ended up meeting her like, girl, they about to lock it down. Nasty with a Gucci outfit. But like, I feel like she was more so focused on like, it just wasn't a good fit for me because X, Y, Z, or like it was this, but it was this. And like, actually I'm seeing this person again because you know what I mean? Like I, I, I actually, I don't mind it. I actually really enjoy it.
And I usually do watch every video that comes across.
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