Meagan

I was at their house.

But whenever it was just me, my husband, and our stepchildren, I... You felt it.

Was utterly depressed.

Yeah.

Just hated it.

Did not want to be there.

I just wanted me and my daughter to go live by ourselves.

We could have lived in the woods, but I just wanted us to be...

ourselves and no one else around and that feeling started very early on was that i just wanted it to be me and her and it just started very innocent just like that i just wanted to be alone with her by myself i don't want anyone else around

And in the meantime, I tried breastfeeding, but with nursing school and how depressed I was, breastfeeding is a full-time job.

I commend those mamas.

That is hard work.

And so I just opted to not do it.

And so I was going to go turn my breast pump back in at the, it's called WIC, which is like a women, they kind of help you women and children, government assistance and stuff.

I was, I had that at the time.

So I was going to go turn my breast pump in at the WIC office.

And I, I don't know how I left the house like this, but I did.

I, my husband must've been asleep or at work, but I went to the WIC office, no shoes, didn't have no shoes on a dirty shirt with milk dried and wet, dried and wet, just layers and layers of breast milk all over my shirt.

I probably smelled bad.

We just assume I did.