Meg Jay

We neglect our future selves because of some sort of failure of belief or imagination.

So when you're young, it can be difficult to imagine or believe that you could ever really be 35, especially when most of the influencers you see on Instagram or TikTok are younger than that.

But that's a problem because research shows that our brains think about our future selves similarly to how they think about strangers.

And that's where the empathy gap comes in.

It can be difficult for us to care about a version of ourselves that we haven't met yet.

Yet, research also shows that if we find a way to close that empathy gap between our present selves and our future selves, we start to think more about what we could do now to be kind to ourselves down the line.

So in one of my favorite studies on this, researchers used virtual reality to show 20-somethings what they would look like when they're old.

Scary, I know, but the 20-somethings who saw their age-morphed selves set aside more money towards retirement than those who didn't.

So I don't have virtual reality in my office, and saving for retirement isn't something that comes up a whole lot.

But what does come up a whole lot is that about 85% of life's most defining moments take place by around age 35.

So I asked my clients to imagine themselves at age 35.

And I asked them to believe in their ability to have created those defining moments.

And then I asked them to get really specific about what they see.

What do I look like?

Where do I live?

What do I do for work?

Do I enjoy the work?

Is it meaningful?

Is it important?

Does it pay well?