Megan Kozak

And so I think we've got to walk a bit sensitively there knowing it could mean different things to different people.

Sure, because we automatically think if it's the first person to say it, then they're the first person to feel it.

That's not necessarily the case, right?

They're the person who is willing to be brave enough or vulnerable enough to put themselves out there in that moment first.

So that's really what it means.

I'm willing to risk the rejection of saying something really big, bold and brave.

I loved this question because it was kind of like this idea that probably they would be in the question, right?

Actually, no, the opposite is true that I find, which is really interesting and sometimes surprising.

And I was thinking about that.

That's in my practice, right?

The work that I do.

I was like, no, I'm sure it would be the guy who would say it first.

Then I thought, let me just check if study backs that up.

And so I had a bit of a look at some clinical studies.

There's a 2022 study on this of seven different countries, including Australia.

Do you know, 59% to 81% of the time, it's the man who says it first in a hetero couple.

Wow.

they were like i would never say at first because i don't want to come across as like clingy or like the person who's like head over heels and i think how interesting that it is and i wonder how much people are being stubborn with that to influence the guy saying at first oh totally right and stubborn or we could put in there scared right like we could put in there all different words around why i'm not going to do this i don't want to break the thing that's really good right now and it was interesting i did more reading because it captured my attention i was like tell me more about this study it was so interesting

it turns out guys even think at first right before women they even have the thought earlier than women right it's just incredible incredible to notice not by a huge amount but it tends to be around day 70 in the relationship that they have the thought first whereas for women it's around day 77 that they start to have that thought first and then it kind of follows suit moving forwards with when they say it which tends to be about six weeks later

Correct, you're right, yeah.