Megan Kozak

Like, no, this is not a trump card.

oh i just want to give you a big hug if that's you because that's a hard spot to be in right so even if you go in there with all of the best intentions like yes i do feel it is real everything's great i'm going to bring it it's going to be fine if they don't say i love you back it's still going to hurt in that moment because we have this anticipatory response we're like i'm saying this because i really feel it my hope is that there's a reciprocal kind of feeling that's there and if they don't say it in that moment right there's a couple of things i want you to check in about

One, I love you is not a vending machine, right?

I'm not saying this to get something back straight away.

This is not a transaction.

This is not why I'm saying it.

You haven't lost anything by doing this.

You've been really brave and really warm and wise by doing it.

Stay brave and warm and wise.

Be compassionate in that moment to that person.

If they say thank you or I'm sorry, give them a hug and go, you don't need to be sorry.

I'm just telling you where I'm at.

And then go and treat yourself really kindly.

Go and be proud of the fact that you were brave and wise and kind in that moment.

don't think there can be because everybody comes into these relationships with such different background and such different baggage right so the idea of saying oh if you don't say it in two weeks then maybe we're not meant to be i feel is really difficult if someone's come from a history where i love you was used manipulatively they're going to be so guarded in a moment that they ever use that again whereas if it was given freely it's the easiest thing in the world to say so we've got to kind of acknowledge that and there's this beautiful concept which is i can't feel loved unless i'm first known

So if I know you, I will know why it is easy or hard for you to say I love you back to me.

I know that already, right?

So it makes sense, the genuine time to say it back when I really feel it, when I'm emotionally ready to express it, right?

And when my actions and words, when they match.

Until then, I'm just not ready to say it back, regardless of what timeframe it is.