Meggan Roxanne

I slept in the same bed as my mum for that entire time, for a year and a half. I've got so many recordings of her. We have our own podcast that I can go to. There's certain things I asked her, like when I get married and I want to run away, what advice would you give me? And she gave me all these advices. When I become a mother, what advice would you give me?

I slept in the same bed as my mum for that entire time, for a year and a half. I've got so many recordings of her. We have our own podcast that I can go to. There's certain things I asked her, like when I get married and I want to run away, what advice would you give me? And she gave me all these advices. When I become a mother, what advice would you give me?

And we had these really beautiful conversations. I've got all of it recorded. She even recorded me a birthday message so that every year... For my birthday, I wake up and I play it because it's just significant for any year. It's not specific, you know? And so... We prepared and we did as much as we could. And that's why I don't have any regrets with losing my mother.

And we had these really beautiful conversations. I've got all of it recorded. She even recorded me a birthday message so that every year... For my birthday, I wake up and I play it because it's just significant for any year. It's not specific, you know? And so... We prepared and we did as much as we could. And that's why I don't have any regrets with losing my mother.

Or, well, I don't have any regrets of how it all panned out. But I lost myself completely. And I think, to be honest with you, I really only got it back recently. And I got it back through the process of writing this book because it gave me something to do. I got really low. I got a really strong dependency on marijuana. I became very suicidal, made various attempts.

Or, well, I don't have any regrets of how it all panned out. But I lost myself completely. And I think, to be honest with you, I really only got it back recently. And I got it back through the process of writing this book because it gave me something to do. I got really low. I got a really strong dependency on marijuana. I became very suicidal, made various attempts.

I was by myself for a long time. In Trinidad, I started off in the hood and I met some really great people in some of the areas where you know, rumors and the government and just culture would tell you that you shouldn't be. I met some of the kindest people there and these people elevated me enough to believe or to generate self-belief that I'm Megan. I built something really great.

I was by myself for a long time. In Trinidad, I started off in the hood and I met some really great people in some of the areas where you know, rumors and the government and just culture would tell you that you shouldn't be. I met some of the kindest people there and these people elevated me enough to believe or to generate self-belief that I'm Megan. I built something really great.

I have a great story to tell and I can actually still try again. And I started off in the hood in Trinidad and ended up in one of the best places in a villa that cost me four and a half grand a month because I started to do podcasts. I started to start again. You know, I was filming people. I was interviewing people. I was traveling the island.

I have a great story to tell and I can actually still try again. And I started off in the hood in Trinidad and ended up in one of the best places in a villa that cost me four and a half grand a month because I started to do podcasts. I started to start again. You know, I was filming people. I was interviewing people. I was traveling the island.

I was trying to find who Megan was without Janet, without my mum. And I'm still trying to find that. It's really hard. It's really hard. She wasn't just my mother. She was my best friend, my sister, my homie, you know, the person I would talk to about everything. That's gone. And then not only that, but all of the people that raised her, they're gone too.

I was trying to find who Megan was without Janet, without my mum. And I'm still trying to find that. It's really hard. It's really hard. She wasn't just my mother. She was my best friend, my sister, my homie, you know, the person I would talk to about everything. That's gone. And then not only that, but all of the people that raised her, they're gone too.

I lost my great aunt, you know, I lost great uncles, I lost cousins, I lost a lot of people. And all I really have now is just their memory, WhatsApp conversations, voice notes, and their essence. And that is what I use now to drive me. You know, there were times, I still live in my mother's house. When I took her to St. Lucia, stayed in Trinidad for a year.

I lost my great aunt, you know, I lost great uncles, I lost cousins, I lost a lot of people. And all I really have now is just their memory, WhatsApp conversations, voice notes, and their essence. And that is what I use now to drive me. You know, there were times, I still live in my mother's house. When I took her to St. Lucia, stayed in Trinidad for a year.

When I got back, I had an apartment in Docklands, a penthouse. And I remember my mum came to see it with me and she was like,

When I got back, I had an apartment in Docklands, a penthouse. And I remember my mum came to see it with me and she was like,

is you because she started off in a board house her daughter's 24 floors up you know own business it was starting to happen for me you know now I'm back at home back in Watford you know in my mum's place and it's humbling it's it's hard um the memories when people say oh I have to leave this environment there's too many memories I never understood what that meant

is you because she started off in a board house her daughter's 24 floors up you know own business it was starting to happen for me you know now I'm back at home back in Watford you know in my mum's place and it's humbling it's it's hard um the memories when people say oh I have to leave this environment there's too many memories I never understood what that meant

It means that when you're in bed and somebody's walking in your hallway, you get a quick, oh, mum, that's my... No, it's not. It's just your friend. Or if like, I don't know, you're cooking and you sit in the living room while your food's cooking and you can smell the food and it reminds you of when your mum used to cook on Sundays. There's memories everywhere.

It means that when you're in bed and somebody's walking in your hallway, you get a quick, oh, mum, that's my... No, it's not. It's just your friend. Or if like, I don't know, you're cooking and you sit in the living room while your food's cooking and you can smell the food and it reminds you of when your mum used to cook on Sundays. There's memories everywhere.