Mel Robbins

I think you're dating a project.

And I also, it's not only that it won't work out, it's that it's not fair.

Like, imagine...

Being in the other seat.

Imagine somebody choosing you and going, well, if I can get her to lose a little weight, if I can get her to change her tone of voice, well, if I can get her to just like the sports, then this is going to work out.

I mean, would you want to be in a relationship with somebody?

Not at all.

And the hardest thing about that is that sometimes they won't choose you.

All the time.

And what do you see as kind of the top big behavior mistakes that people make when they date for the potential or when they are excusing away red flags based on your experience as a coach in this realm?

I think it's this deep fear of being the single friend.

One of the things I want to acknowledge that's not talked about a lot is the fact that the 20s is one of the hardest decades of your life because you've spent the first two decades moving through life with all your friends.

And then what I call the great scattering happens and everybody moves in different directions when you graduate from college and they're in different cities and different friend groups and have different jobs.

And then people's trajectories and timelines start to change.

And then you start to...

notice that people are either pulling ahead, or so you think, or they're pairing off.

And I'm seeing this right now with my daughters, where friends who are living together are now moving in with significant others.

And so you start to see relationship status and milestones against your own.

And I think it creates this sense of panic

What do you want to say or have someone who's listening that's feeling that?