Dating Expert: Why Dating Today Is Nearly Impossible & How to Find True Love

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Previously titled “What it Takes to Find & Keep True Love: The Best Advice No One Ever Told You” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026

The Mel Robbins Podcast 1h 2m 6 speakers 6 chapters transcribed
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What unique challenges do singles face in modern dating?

Mel Robbins 0:00
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. If you're in your 20s or 30s, I know you've had it with dating right now. I've got two daughters, they're in their 20s, and all of their friends, regardless of gender, are saying how toxic the dating scene is. The endless swiping, the ghosting, the fact that everyone is dating a million people at the same time, not matching with people who you're actually interested in, or wondering, are you ever going to meet anyone normal? Or maybe you're not in your 20s, but you're like me. I'm a parent. Or maybe you're an aunt or an uncle, and you're worried because it sounds like a freaking nightmare out there. So I wanted to do something about it.
Mel Robbins 0:46
I've called in an incredible expert who is a data scientist and a dating coach, and I need you to hear something. If you're listening to my voice right now or you're watching me on YouTube and you're starting to think you're going to be single forever, you're wrong. Today you're going to learn that there are specific data-supported things that you need to do when it comes to dating. For example, you're going to learn exactly what you need to change on your dating app profile to get more matches with people that you actually might be compatible with. Second, you're gonna learn specific things that you could be doing every single day in your life that will help you meet awesome people. Third, you're gonna learn about the myth of the spark and the importance of the slow burn.
Mel Robbins 1:24
You're also gonna learn shocking statistics about what actually creates a match, and it's not what you think. And finally, our expert has eight questions you need to be asking yourself because based on the research right now, you're probably looking for the wrong person and you're focused on the wrong things. Today, you and I are going to use data, research, and expert relationship advice to take the frustration out of dating apps and put the power back in your hands. So let's get into it.
Mel Robbins 2:01
Hey, it's your friend Mel. I'm so fired up that you're here. It is always such an honor to spend time with you, to be together. I wanted to take a moment and welcome you if you're new, because this is one of those episodes that I know is getting shared all over the planet. And so if you're brand new, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. And I want to acknowledge something. You know, look, I'm married, I'm in my 50s, but I want to acknowledge that there is a unique sort of pressure that you can feel when you're in your 20s and 30s. You know, as your friends start to pair off and you start wondering, am I always going to be the single one? Am I ever going to find somebody that I fall in love with who treats me the way that I deserve?
Mel Robbins 2:43
And here's what I want you to know. Whether you're in your 20s or 30s and you're dating, or you're already in a relationship, but you're listening on behalf of one of your friends, or you're a parent like I am, or an aunt and uncle, and you're trying to help your adult kids navigate the dating world, this episode is my gift to you. We've got an incredible guest in the studio today, Logan Urie. She is a Harvard-trained behavioral scientist who knows the ins and outs of modern dating. She ran Google's behavioral science team. She is a dating coach and teaches people who are single the changes that they need to make in order to find someone that deserves someone as awesome as they are. She is the director of relationship science at Hinge.
Mel Robbins 3:23
And I'm going to say something right up front. This is not an episode that's sponsored by Hinge. I asked Logan to be on because I've kind of run out of things to say to the people in my life in their 20s and 30s. But Logan has the data, the science, and the research-backed advice that you've probably never heard before. This episode is for everyone in your life who is single or struggling in their relationships. And without further ado, please help me welcome Logan Urie to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Logan Urie, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.

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