Mel Robbins

You just stop that sort of toxic, pathological hope.

Pathological hope, exactly.

You forgive the moment you say, I'm going to stop wishing things were different and accept them as they are.

One of the things that I think is really exciting about the conversation, frankly,

is that once you see it and you can name it, now you can do something about it.

Exactly.

And the more that you really allow yourself the space to process your grief and your sadness, the more that you accept what didn't happen and what did happen, the more you look at your own mother through compassionate and understanding eyes, but you still protect yourself.

The more you realize an apology is not coming if she's not doing the work and doesn't want to.

Yeah.

And you stop wishing things would be different and you accept them as they are.

I think the more empowered you are to say, I don't have to repeat this.

And that's what's exciting is that you get to decide.

Yeah.

now that this thing isn't invisible, maybe this insight gives you the access to stop criticizing yourself.

Maybe this insight gives you the access to stop overextending yourself, making everybody else's

happiness more important than your own.

Maybe this insight gives you the insight to at least see from a distance when the guilt is coming, to at least see from a distance when that mood shifts and to recognize that is not your responsibility to manage.

It's your responsibility to see it and protect yourself from it.

Exactly.

What does this look like when you have somebody who has a huge epiphany and they really start being kinder to themselves and nurturing themselves?