Melissa Doman

And you're always looking for the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

And you will drive yourself into the ground as you do it because you never pause to take stock of what you've done.

And so when you struggle with the hungry ghost, that's a very easy way to go from being a high achiever to being a self-destructive over-performer.

And then it can lead to...

Oh, gosh, you know, I think that is such a personal decision, such a personal decision.

And, you know, what's funny is there are some people and literally my book just came out and there are already people asking me, when's the third one coming?

I was like, I was like, thank you.

And could I have a break for a minute?

Like I, I just achieved this thing and I need a break.

So I just, and again, you know, what, what a nice compliment, but.

I think when you're trying to think about what's healthy, I think it matters why you want those things and what it means to you and what it will add to your life.

I don't think that people think about that as often as I would like.

Whereas achievement is very, very socially influenced and determined because we exist in several systems that influence us on a daily basis.

And there's a lot, especially with social media, there is so much...

kind of manufactured jealousy and self-comparing and, you know, FOMO, fear of missing out, that really just make people feel very badly about themselves in ways that they may not have before social media existed.

You know, I'm in my 40s.

I was the last generation, us elder millennials, who had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood.

So...

You know, there's a there's way too many ways these days of being pushed towards unhealthy levels of achievement because of what we observe other people doing.

So I think the healthy thing to do is, well, why do I want to achieve this?