Melissa Doman

You know, people look at leaders, regardless of the leadership title or seniority, and they build them up into something as if they're a different species where they don't have the same emotional health needs or they don't feel the same struggles or that they assume that because of the position they're in, that they can withstand more distress.

Now, we make lots of assumptions based on, I mean, gosh, this has been around since the dawn of civilization.

Human beings look to strong, consistent, stoic and insightful people for guidance, protection to save them from threats in our environment.

This is what we always do.

And it's a one way support structure where leaders are looking after the team, protecting the team, serving as a symbol instead of a human.

And that is what history has taught us, that if leaders start talking about distress, they can't handle the job.

Or they are not fit to lead or whatever it is.

And it's just not true.

Because struggle and success and effectiveness can all exist in the same body, regardless of job title.

And I was writing about this in my new book where there was a monologue from...

this guy called Sonny Vaccaro from the film air, where it was showing about, uh, the lead up to Michael Jordan becoming one of the, you know, most famous best basketball players in, in history.

And he was sitting down with the then pre-famous Michael Jordan played by Matt Damon and,

And he said, people are going to build you up into something so amazing and they'll hold you up and it'll feel amazing.

And then they'll tear you down and they'll do it over and over again because it's the most predictable pattern in human history.

And it's true.

We don't talk about leaders because we think they don't need help.

We think they don't need support.

And when people have control and influence over us, the common thought is, well, why do I have to care about them if they control my paycheck and if they have more money or freedom or whatever it is?

There was a study I wrote about and I referenced several times in the book, and this is real, where there is something called the leadership, well-being and mental illness prototypes.

Would you like to know what those mean?