Melissa Jeltsin

I'm not sure exactly how or when Talena and Tom met, except that they both served in the military, and by 2004, they were living together in Indiana. Talena was 38, Tom 46, and it's possible that it was Tom who introduced her to Gore. According to his own posts on FetLife, he discovered the books in his youth, and they made a big impact on him. Here's a dramatization of Tom's writing.

I'm not sure exactly how or when Talena and Tom met, except that they both served in the military, and by 2004, they were living together in Indiana. Talena was 38, Tom 46, and it's possible that it was Tom who introduced her to Gore. According to his own posts on FetLife, he discovered the books in his youth, and they made a big impact on him. Here's a dramatization of Tom's writing.

According to her profile, Talena had been in BDSM-type relationships since she was 18 years old. But with Tom, she moved into something different, a master-slave relationship that required her submission to him 24-7.

According to her profile, Talena had been in BDSM-type relationships since she was 18 years old. But with Tom, she moved into something different, a master-slave relationship that required her submission to him 24-7.

They lived strictly according to Gorian principles, which meant that Tom was in charge of all decisions and Talena yielded control absolutely to her husband.

They lived strictly according to Gorian principles, which meant that Tom was in charge of all decisions and Talena yielded control absolutely to her husband.

For most people, me included, the word slavery does not have any positive connotations. Wars have been waged to abolish it. Generations of people have worked to ensure no one endures such a fate. And here is someone voluntarily living this way. Honestly, I find it hard to wrap my head around. And yet, the way Talena described it, their relationship sounded more nuanced than I had expected.

For most people, me included, the word slavery does not have any positive connotations. Wars have been waged to abolish it. Generations of people have worked to ensure no one endures such a fate. And here is someone voluntarily living this way. Honestly, I find it hard to wrap my head around. And yet, the way Talena described it, their relationship sounded more nuanced than I had expected.

Talena freely shared the inner workings of her relationship with the gore community and over time became an expert, someone who guided others new to the lifestyle. I discovered from digging through her old posts that at some point she actually began formally teaching classes with Tom on how to be in a dominant-submissive relationship.

Talena freely shared the inner workings of her relationship with the gore community and over time became an expert, someone who guided others new to the lifestyle. I discovered from digging through her old posts that at some point she actually began formally teaching classes with Tom on how to be in a dominant-submissive relationship.

Here's a description of a class they taught in 2013 called Formal Dinner Service, where slaves were taught how to serve food while naked.

Here's a description of a class they taught in 2013 called Formal Dinner Service, where slaves were taught how to serve food while naked.

Deep diving into the gore series, the subculture that has cropped up around it, and Talena's embrace of its principles, I had so many questions. The most pressing being, why would someone so smart, self-aware, and opinionated like Talena want to engage in a dynamic like this? Don't get me wrong, there's a part of me that understands the allure of ceding control.

Deep diving into the gore series, the subculture that has cropped up around it, and Talena's embrace of its principles, I had so many questions. The most pressing being, why would someone so smart, self-aware, and opinionated like Talena want to engage in a dynamic like this? Don't get me wrong, there's a part of me that understands the allure of ceding control.

There are plenty of days where I feel so burned out that I don't want to decide anything, what to eat or what to wear or even what show to put on to decompress. But as a woman, wife, and mom, equity in my household is really important to me. My partner and I deliberately strive to share the mental and physical loads of life. Play acting these roles for kink and pleasure in the bedroom, I get that.

There are plenty of days where I feel so burned out that I don't want to decide anything, what to eat or what to wear or even what show to put on to decompress. But as a woman, wife, and mom, equity in my household is really important to me. My partner and I deliberately strive to share the mental and physical loads of life. Play acting these roles for kink and pleasure in the bedroom, I get that.

But to live within this dynamic where the male partner always has the final say, it goes against every fiber of my being. Why would someone desire this?

But to live within this dynamic where the male partner always has the final say, it goes against every fiber of my being. Why would someone desire this?

This is Julie Fennell, a sociologist and longtime member of the BDSM community who studies gender and sexuality. She's the author of Please Scream Quietly, A Story of Kink.

This is Julie Fennell, a sociologist and longtime member of the BDSM community who studies gender and sexuality. She's the author of Please Scream Quietly, A Story of Kink.