Melissa Vranjes

Or your back door.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think it's prefacing the conversation first and letting them know if this is true for you, that this is vulnerable and this feels like a lot so that they can meet you in a safe environment because safety is so, so key for this.

Safety and curiosity.

Yeah.

But it's going, hey, I would love to share something with you.

Are you open to hearing it right now?

And it's not like, I think you probably need to add in, hey, can I share a sexual fantasy with you?

This feels really vulnerable.

Are you open to hearing about it?

And I'm going to give you some ways that you don't have to do that so explicitly after this.

Remind me to get back to that.

Because sometimes you don't actually have to.

You can test the waters first.

OK, but if you're going in, just going in for it, the first thing you want to do, preface it.

Hey, I'm sharing this and then say, hey, it's about this thing.

So I've been reading this book or I've been having these thoughts or when you did that thing, it made me think about X, Y, Z.

And then you go into it.

I kind of have been thinking about dressing up as a nurse and dominating you.