Melody Beattie
speaker
102 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Melody Beattie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
But I believe she was the first woman in Minnesota that was allowed to get a mortgage and a property in her own name as a female.
Yeah, it is. It is. So, I mean, while it's important to stay in now, it's important to not forget how we got here. And not much is guaranteed, is it? No.
And do you often become passively angry at all these people?
Slide right on down that scale, huh?
Yeah, we're constantly angry about what we're doing instead of realizing that, yes, there is a connection between us and what we do. And then trying to intercept that connection and figure out what we're doing that we don't like. Who is the hardest person to control? Self. For each of us. So it's so much easier to try and control others.
And at first, we don't know them as well as we know ourselves, do we? Yeah. And I would say that it's just not controlling other people. I would say that people with codependency issues, and I am included there, have control issues generally with life. Especially if we came from chaotic situations where we could never relax and allow life to unfold.
We couldn't trust ourselves because someone was gaslighting us. And I would say it takes a couple hours of my energy every day to focus on letting go of my control issues. Oh, wow. How do you do that? A lot of meditation, a whole lot of meditation, yoga. I have a yoga routine that I'm able to do every day and actually in this podcast room.
But by getting into my body, by getting out of the world around me, and not sticking my finger in the light socket of scrolling on my phone and just getting into who I am, relaxing with myself, remembering what I enjoy, remembering all I have right now. It's so ungodly easy to see what we don't have.
We are completely plugged in to the electrical circuits of almost every other human being on this planet. We pick up their anxiety. We pick up their fear. I mean, we're all like tapped into this big spider web of ethers.
of course we're going to have anxiety and it gets, it gets to the point where sometimes if I'm not feeling enough anxiety, I'll scroll through my phone to start a little bit of it. So yeah, I spent a lot of time working on staying at peace. I think that's so much better than being happy because even being happy can be a distraction, but being peaceful really works for me. That's amazing.
Absolutely. It's all an illusion. This whole, I can control you, you're controlling me. It's all an illusion and it can crumble quite quickly and usually does. We can't control any human being. They are going to do what they want to do.
Okay. This happened, um, fairly deeply into my marriage after I had been, you know, trying to convince myself I could deal with it. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but yet it was. And I had already told David and we had two kids. I had two kids still in diapers. And I told him, you know, if you drink again, we are over. We're ended. And he went to Vegas and I said, well, promise me you won't drink.
He said, of course not. So I, We were scheduled to hold a party at the home we had in Minneapolis for a neighbor who introduced me to Al-Anon and had put herself through nursing school. And he was supposed to be home. And it was a big deal to me to be able to thank her. She had helped me. And he didn't show up. I hadn't heard from him. I started calling him on the phone.
The hotel would put me through and it would just ring into that. And I know, you know, when you're a good codependent, you know, you don't really need confirmation, do you? But ultimately he did pick up the phone and I heard, you know, literally almost a glug, glug, glug. As you know, he poured liquid into either into his throat, into something. And I went, oh man, here we go again.
But what changed in me, first, it was a spiritual awakening I had when I realized I was as out of control with obsessing about him as I used to be about getting drugs. I had all these people coming over for this party and all I could think about was the other person, what someone else was or wasn't doing. And for the first time since I married him, I saw myself.
I thought, you know, he's out of control. But so am I. And that was the first part of my second spiritual awakening. The second part was I realized that I was real. God was real. I was real. I wasn't just an appendage to another human being. I was pretty much, I don't know about fully functioning, but getting there, a human.
And that was revolutionary to me because first I had been my mom's pet, you know, and then I just turned into an object of reaction to David. And so it was the beginning of me. Well, it's the journey we're all on our entire lives. The journey of continually, every day, rediscovering ourselves, who we are, how we feel, what we want, what we don't like.
what we have to offer in the world, taking our seat at the table, all the different, there's so many different phases in life we each go through. And to learn to love ourselves and not turn on ourselves when we go through these phases or when we don't do them perfectly, that's the kind of self-love that we're now moving into it being an absolute necessity to have for ourselves.
They're still calling and helping, huh?
Yeah, they're making the Dracula sign instinct. Please don't bring your help.
Showing 21–40 of 102 · page 2 of 6
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