Mercedes Coffman

If he's not going overboard, I'm not going overboard.

If he isn't making an initiation or effort, I'm not giving more effort than he's giving and vice versa.

So to be reciprocal and not to overinvest, that will keep you grounded.

No, because naturally it will move.

You'll want to move as long as you remain authentic.

You'll want to move, hey, you know, you want to go out?

Sure, no problem.

We should do this again.

Let's do this next time.

But I'm not going to say, hey, oh my God, we should do this all the time.

And we should get married and have kids because I don't want to let go of this dopamine and this euphoria that I feel right now.

So when the desire outpaces the effort is when you should know that you're now in a biochemical cycle and not in a mental cycle.

Absolutely, because the dopamine gets higher.

And the problem is that- Serotonin gets lower.

Serotonin gets lower, dopamine gets higher.

And so kind of one of the excuses you just used, right?

Oh, he's just busy.

I often hear my female clients say that.

Oh, he's busy.

He told me he's busy, right?