Mercedes Coffman

I think that one of the ways to prevent a person from getting too attached and then by the time they have kids with this person, they're like, oh my God, I don't even like this.

Right.

So there's ways to slow down.

I kind of give my clients the framework MOP, M-O-P.

M stands for match effort, right?

So don't go overboard.

When chemistry hits and you feel attached to a person, you want to go overboard.

You want to over give because you want to hold on to it.

You feel like you found your person.

And that over investment is when you fall into that addiction even faster.

That starts clouding your mental clarity more and more.

So if you match effort, second O means observe for patterns.

A lot of times people don't wait until they've discovered what a person's patterns are.

If you give it a couple of weeks or months, you'll see what a person's patterns are.

You'll be able to maintain clarity at that point.

And then the last one is pace access.

Because the moment you give someone, especially physical access, you are much more likely to get into that dopamine fix.

Clarity goes backwards and you will become a full-blown addict at that point.

And so I think that at that point, justification and minimizing stuff in order to maintain the relationship is all things that that person will use to keep that attachment.

But if we stay anchored in our own reality and we watch a person from the framework of, yeah, they're beautiful and they're handsome and they're incredible and they're emotionally intelligent, but I want to match their effort.