Mercedes Coffman

So it's not as though these people are just malicious in dating.

A man could be, or a woman, could be really busy with their career and really want to make this relationship work with this partner.

But at that point, when there's no work-life balance and their work takes up all of their time,

They just don't have the capacity to meet your needs.

And at that point, you need to be honest with the fact that it's misaligned because you're going to put pressure on them and they're going to start building resentments against you.

Absolutely.

And discernment, I think a lot of times people feel as though that should also mean being understanding of other people's limitations.

And two things could be true at the same time.

I could be understanding of people's limitations and still know what I need.

and still advocate for what I need, right?

So if I am looking for a particular type of relationship, no matter how much I understand your limitations, it's just not compatible.

Exactly.

And a lot of people have a hard time with that because they really want that person.

A lot of times people will tell me that they are attracted to a person and they go, but Mercedes, he's such a good person or she's such a beautiful person.

And I'm like, I know, but they're not your beautiful person.

You know, they could be great in every other area of life, but they're just not emotionally available enough for what you want.

He's got bangers.

Yeah.

Yep.

I mean, I agree.