Mercedes Coffman

So when a person is inconsistent and they don't give you enough clarity, the likelihood of obsession is much higher in that situation, in that connection, than a person who gives you stability and clarity early on.

And you know why?

Because we started saying these things that confuse children and teens by saying, we started calling it butterflies.

And that's so pretty and cute.

Oh, he gives me butterflies.

No, he activates your nervous system.

He's not good for you, right?

And so we don't say it as that.

So everybody starts being conditioned into the belief that when I feel a lot for this person and I'm feeling anxious around them, that this might mean that this is my guy or this is my woman.

Absolutely.

It's not easy.

Yes.

And it's not easy.

The difference, though, is that I think with awareness, we could just learn to marry the limbic system and the primitive part of the brain with the front of the brain.

That's all it is.

It's integration.

If we could just integrate.

And the best way to do that is to take space.

Whatever we feel to just say, it feels really good.

This person is number one on the list right now.