Mercedes Coffman

And it is much more harmful than we think it actually is.

Yes.

Yes.

And it's not that modern dating apps are designed to punish emotionally available people.

It's that it is reinforcing emotional unavailability.

So the people who are emotionally unavailable have a much better time on dating apps than the emotionally available people.

Because emotionally unavailable people are looking for dopamine.

They're looking for comfort.

They do not want to put in a lot of effort in a relationship.

They do not have the capacity to put a lot of effort into it.

Whereas emotionally available people are looking for consistency and follow through and to focus on one person at a time.

And dating apps and swipe culture is all about the dopamine of more and more and more.

And the more options we have, the less invested we are in those options.

Because emotionally available people are looking for depth.

And there is very little of that in modern dating or modern day in general.

Everybody is looking for quick results and nobody's really looking to invest in things that causes discomfort or inconvenience.

So emotionally available people, they want something of substance.

They want a relationship that will go the whole way.

They want the slow burn.

They want gradual development.