Mercedes Coffman
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
The person who always listens, listen to them.
The person who always does, do for them.
The person who always pays, pay for them.
Because the thing is, is that
we, the brain looks for shortcuts in identification.
We want to know that this friend is good at this.
This friend is good at this because the brain can't go.
Sometimes they're good at it.
Sometimes they're not.
We want certainty.
So if the friend is always nice, we're like, they're the nice friend.
We don't need to change it.
Right.
Because if we change that, now we've got to change something about ourselves.
And that's just too dysregulated.
And so we want people to play certain roles in our lives.
And that,
causes self-abandonment in and of itself.
Because now I know that I have to always show up as the therapist.
You have to show up as all the things that you show up as, right?