Mercedes Coffman

Meaning, can they deal with discomfort without retreating, without withdrawing, without avoiding, right?

So whenever a conversation gets uncomfortable, whatever it's a conversation about growth or intentions, can they sit through those feelings in that conversation without avoiding or getting defensive?

And then emotional maturity, I would say is third on the list.

How emotionally mature is this person?

That's about can they manage rejection?

Do they get aggressive?

Do they get reactive?

Or can they remain responsive?

And you could detect that early on in conversation as well.

So that would be the gold standard.

An emotionally available, high capacity, emotionally mature person.

Yeah.

So I think that some of the things that will, if you have all those things aligned and we both have those qualities and those relationship values, some of the things that would hinder that would be unresolved stuff.

So unresolved stuff in me, unresolved stuff in you.

If that's worked out and all the surface level things, as far as chemistry and physical attraction is intact, the relationship has a really good shot, right?

But I think that

We're not attaching based on that.

We're attaching based on chemistry and intensity first.

And I think it's backwards because there's a lot of broken hearts because people attach to the wrong things first.

And we can't blame the world because everything is about speed.