Mercedes Coffman

And a lot of the dating apps now, you know, I've done my research that a lot of them, if you look at a profile...

Most of the things that they advertise on a profile, if you were to go on there and look at someone's profile, it'll talk about the person's age, the things they enjoy doing, but it doesn't talk about what's their conflict repair, what's their love language, what's their emotional availability, what's their emotional capacity, what's their emotional maturity.

It doesn't assess for any of those things.

And so what happens is people are bonding over surface level things.

Oh, we went to the same school.

We live in the same town.

You like the same food I like.

you know, or physical attraction, but it's not really assessing any compatibility regarding relationship values.

And I think that's where a lot of people are getting attached to the wrong people because it's a misalignment because we're not really doing the assessment on relationship values before attaching to a person that we meet.

What matters?

Emotional availability is the first.

Are they willing to be invested in this relationship?

Meaning...

Do they have good work-life balance?

Do they have time for a relationship?

Someone could be interested in you, they could be emotionally intelligent, they could have emotional capacity, they could be emotionally mature, but if they do not have time for a relationship, it doesn't matter.

You will not be aligned with that person if you're emotionally available.

So the willingness to have time, to invest time in a relationship is the first thing I would tell people to assess for.

The second is capacity.

Can they hold their own emotions and your emotions as well?