Meri

They always said, even in court, that I had the mind of a nine-year-old. He does say that when he looks back that he can see how stupid he was and he never did things the right way until it was too late.

They always said, even in court, that I had the mind of a nine-year-old. He does say that when he looks back that he can see how stupid he was and he never did things the right way until it was too late.

He did say ever since he was seven or eight years old, he always felt like something was wrong with him in the head and that he always felt like people were putting him down or making fun of him and that it hurts real bad. That's one of the reasons that he doesn't go to any groups or anger management classes. He said he did try those and it didn't work and all it did was get him in more trouble.

He did say ever since he was seven or eight years old, he always felt like something was wrong with him in the head and that he always felt like people were putting him down or making fun of him and that it hurts real bad. That's one of the reasons that he doesn't go to any groups or anger management classes. He said he did try those and it didn't work and all it did was get him in more trouble.

So now he just tries to work out his problems in his head. I'm sorry for my dog barking in the background. I have two dogs that don't get along. I had told him about, I was dog sitting one of my cleaning clients, three Rottweilers, and he said he was familiar with them and he liked having dogs when he was a kid. And he put a little smiley face, which he doesn't do very often.

So now he just tries to work out his problems in his head. I'm sorry for my dog barking in the background. I have two dogs that don't get along. I had told him about, I was dog sitting one of my cleaning clients, three Rottweilers, and he said he was familiar with them and he liked having dogs when he was a kid. And he put a little smiley face, which he doesn't do very often.

He jumps around a lot. Then he says, oh, I really want to get an education. And education is printed in all caps.

He jumps around a lot. Then he says, oh, I really want to get an education. And education is printed in all caps.

He mentioned the old man who... taught him to read when he was on death row from 89 to 93. And he said, an old man was teaching me, and if school could teach me the way he did, I could have been a new person. I can't remember his full name. I always called him Mr. Jackson. He was good at helping not just me, but others as well. He is a black man, about 65 years of age, maybe 68. And he

He mentioned the old man who... taught him to read when he was on death row from 89 to 93. And he said, an old man was teaching me, and if school could teach me the way he did, I could have been a new person. I can't remember his full name. I always called him Mr. Jackson. He was good at helping not just me, but others as well. He is a black man, about 65 years of age, maybe 68. And he

didn't care what color your skin was. I never saw him again. I heard he got off death row. Someone told me that he had died, but he says that may not be true because he heard rumors that he himself, Jeremy, had died in 2002. I had ordered him a GED study book and he said, that should really be fun because I suck at everything. I only went to the sixth grade and I never got past it.

didn't care what color your skin was. I never saw him again. I heard he got off death row. Someone told me that he had died, but he says that may not be true because he heard rumors that he himself, Jeremy, had died in 2002. I had ordered him a GED study book and he said, that should really be fun because I suck at everything. I only went to the sixth grade and I never got past it.

Math, I don't know at all. I mean, I can add and that's about all I've ever learned. The next letter, he said that he got the three books I sent, and he said, I don't know that I can do this. It looks really hard, but I'm going to try. He says, remember, I told you that I only went to the sixth grade.

Math, I don't know at all. I mean, I can add and that's about all I've ever learned. The next letter, he said that he got the three books I sent, and he said, I don't know that I can do this. It looks really hard, but I'm going to try. He says, remember, I told you that I only went to the sixth grade.

He said, really, I only went to the fourth grade, but they moved him up to the sixth because of his age. I sent him a math book on top of that, and I had... I sent him one that was fourth and fifth grade math, and I felt bad doing it because it looks like a kid's book, and I didn't want him to feel embarrassed.

He said, really, I only went to the fourth grade, but they moved him up to the sixth because of his age. I sent him a math book on top of that, and I had... I sent him one that was fourth and fifth grade math, and I felt bad doing it because it looks like a kid's book, and I didn't want him to feel embarrassed.

I don't know what the other prisoners see or if they make fun of him for things like that. You know, when I'm more reflective about what is going on here, about me and Jeremy writing letters, I kind of think, Like, Mary, you're insane because here you are talking to basically a mass murderer and worrying about whether he's gonna feel bad because you sent him a fairly childish kind of book.

I don't know what the other prisoners see or if they make fun of him for things like that. You know, when I'm more reflective about what is going on here, about me and Jeremy writing letters, I kind of think, Like, Mary, you're insane because here you are talking to basically a mass murderer and worrying about whether he's gonna feel bad because you sent him a fairly childish kind of book.

So, who knows? Truthfully, I just don't think about it too much. I just... Just write the letters, you know, as if he's any other person in my life, maybe like a brother or something. Anyway, so he says he can't do the math, and I guess he's going to have to just read it real slow and try real hard, and maybe something will come to him.

So, who knows? Truthfully, I just don't think about it too much. I just... Just write the letters, you know, as if he's any other person in my life, maybe like a brother or something. Anyway, so he says he can't do the math, and I guess he's going to have to just read it real slow and try real hard, and maybe something will come to him.

Well, because I clean, I listen to a lot of podcasts to get through the day, and I kind of exhausted all the good ones, like, of course, cereal, and went through all those pretty fast.

Well, because I clean, I listen to a lot of podcasts to get through the day, and I kind of exhausted all the good ones, like, of course, cereal, and went through all those pretty fast.

Mary, you told me that Mr. King is going to mail me the Game of Thrones 3, 4, and 5. Does he know how to order the books from the bookstore? You might have to let him know. The next letter I got was dated May 9th, 2003. And inside on the very front, he had written in big letters that said, Happy Mother's Day, Mary.

Mary, you told me that Mr. King is going to mail me the Game of Thrones 3, 4, and 5. Does he know how to order the books from the bookstore? You might have to let him know. The next letter I got was dated May 9th, 2003. And inside on the very front, he had written in big letters that said, Happy Mother's Day, Mary.

He said that the last two or three days it's been raining real hard and it was cool for a while. I was just thinking about summer and when it gets here, it will be really hot. The bad thing is we have to wear our blues all day from 7 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. I just wet my blue shirt and then put it back on and sit under the window and try to stay cool.

He said that the last two or three days it's been raining real hard and it was cool for a while. I was just thinking about summer and when it gets here, it will be really hot. The bad thing is we have to wear our blues all day from 7 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. I just wet my blue shirt and then put it back on and sit under the window and try to stay cool.

He says he washes his own shirt and pants because if he turns them in, they never come back clean and they often just give you another pair and they don't always fit the same. So he washes them himself and that way he knows they are clean. Then he writes, I try to write a letter like most people do, but when I'm done and reread what I just wrote, it never sounds right.

He says he washes his own shirt and pants because if he turns them in, they never come back clean and they often just give you another pair and they don't always fit the same. So he washes them himself and that way he knows they are clean. Then he writes, I try to write a letter like most people do, but when I'm done and reread what I just wrote, it never sounds right.

I just don't want you to think that I ain't trying. He says he felt pretty good right now. It's not as hot and he's clean. He's going to clean his floor. And he said he takes off his blues and will lay right under his window. And the rain comes in just a little bit and hits him in the face and feels good and cool. He said, I did this last night and then went to sleep.

I just don't want you to think that I ain't trying. He says he felt pretty good right now. It's not as hot and he's clean. He's going to clean his floor. And he said he takes off his blues and will lay right under his window. And the rain comes in just a little bit and hits him in the face and feels good and cool. He said, I did this last night and then went to sleep.

Hope everything is good and you are well and don't work so hard.

Hope everything is good and you are well and don't work so hard.

Okay. So, it's August... Well, shit. It's September 12th, but... My phone call with Jeremy, the last one I had, was August 15th of 2024. Anyway, so I was not expecting a call from Jeremy because I had not written him in a while. He said that he was fine, that he gets two times a week, he gets to go outside for an hour. But he said the cell was small.

Okay. So, it's August... Well, shit. It's September 12th, but... My phone call with Jeremy, the last one I had, was August 15th of 2024. Anyway, so I was not expecting a call from Jeremy because I had not written him in a while. He said that he was fine, that he gets two times a week, he gets to go outside for an hour. But he said the cell was small.

It was about eight feet long and seven feet wide. And he said he is able to shake hands with the cellmates next door to him, but that right now he has no neighbors on either side of him, which sometimes he likes because it's quieter. But sometimes, you know, you miss the interaction. And the operator was saying, you know, our time was running out. So that's how we ended it.

It was about eight feet long and seven feet wide. And he said he is able to shake hands with the cellmates next door to him, but that right now he has no neighbors on either side of him, which sometimes he likes because it's quieter. But sometimes, you know, you miss the interaction. And the operator was saying, you know, our time was running out. So that's how we ended it.

I did it when the kids were in school so that I could go on field trips or go to their swim meets or whatever. I like cleaning, actually, and so I just stayed with it. I was just Googling one day for, like, podcasts set in Florida. Because I really just wanted to hear about local stuff, I guess. And, you know, you came up. Like, I would even...

I did it when the kids were in school so that I could go on field trips or go to their swim meets or whatever. I like cleaning, actually, and so I just stayed with it. I was just Googling one day for, like, podcasts set in Florida. Because I really just wanted to hear about local stuff, I guess. And, you know, you came up. Like, I would even...

Probably, but it might be a, I don't know, not everybody wants to be, you know, micromanaged by a mother. Do you ever feel that, like you're just... Yeah, I do. I worry about him. It's like a parental thing. I'll ask him, is he brushing his teeth and taking vitamins and all that, you know? You know, has he been to a dentist or does he need glasses?

Probably, but it might be a, I don't know, not everybody wants to be, you know, micromanaged by a mother. Do you ever feel that, like you're just... Yeah, I do. I worry about him. It's like a parental thing. I'll ask him, is he brushing his teeth and taking vitamins and all that, you know? You know, has he been to a dentist or does he need glasses?

Mr. King told me that Leo's parole hearing is next week and he is going to be there. I hope things turn out good for Leo.

Mr. King told me that Leo's parole hearing is next week and he is going to be there. I hope things turn out good for Leo.

You know, of his own accord, he said that he had heard that Leo had been married and he was sure hoping they would let him out soon and that he did everything he could think of to help him. But Polk County, it's just really bad. And he said it's hard to undo or right a wrong. And, you know, that's pretty profound coming from Jeremy, but also true. Life is so fucked up now. Look at Leo.

You know, of his own accord, he said that he had heard that Leo had been married and he was sure hoping they would let him out soon and that he did everything he could think of to help him. But Polk County, it's just really bad. And he said it's hard to undo or right a wrong. And, you know, that's pretty profound coming from Jeremy, but also true. Life is so fucked up now. Look at Leo.

agree to do a house I didn't want to do because I'd have four hours of uninterrupted listening, you know. The part of the podcast really, and it's still memorable, is when you played the clip of Victoria Avalon.

agree to do a house I didn't want to do because I'd have four hours of uninterrupted listening, you know. The part of the podcast really, and it's still memorable, is when you played the clip of Victoria Avalon.

They really didn't want to even hear Leo's case. No matter how much we try, they just, they won't even listen. When will people just say, stop, let's look at this?

They really didn't want to even hear Leo's case. No matter how much we try, they just, they won't even listen. When will people just say, stop, let's look at this?

Oh, I guess this is from that call. He said he met Leo's former roommate, and he said he can't remember his name, but the man was coming around doing some kind of education thing with the prison, and he said he had been Leo's roommate for seven years, and he thought that was really cool, and he asked the guy to tell Leo that he... wished him well and all that.

Oh, I guess this is from that call. He said he met Leo's former roommate, and he said he can't remember his name, but the man was coming around doing some kind of education thing with the prison, and he said he had been Leo's roommate for seven years, and he thought that was really cool, and he asked the guy to tell Leo that he... wished him well and all that.

And I, I feel like I'm getting chills as I even say this because he's a murderer, but, um, you know, I really think he cares about Leo and he seems very sincere when he says stuff like that. Like he was really, he was really impressed. He was talking to somebody who actually knew Leo. I just really get the feeling though. He cares about Leo and that's just, I don't know.

And I, I feel like I'm getting chills as I even say this because he's a murderer, but, um, you know, I really think he cares about Leo and he seems very sincere when he says stuff like that. Like he was really, he was really impressed. He was talking to somebody who actually knew Leo. I just really get the feeling though. He cares about Leo and that's just, I don't know.

I'm not even stoned or drinking, but maybe I should be. Anyway. I hate the way this has turned out and wish it had never happened like this. I hope someday I will come face to face with Leo so I can look at him and say, I'm sorry for what I did. Yes, I still don't sleep good at night and have bad dreams, but not as bad as they were once. I have learned to deal with it.

I'm not even stoned or drinking, but maybe I should be. Anyway. I hate the way this has turned out and wish it had never happened like this. I hope someday I will come face to face with Leo so I can look at him and say, I'm sorry for what I did. Yes, I still don't sleep good at night and have bad dreams, but not as bad as they were once. I have learned to deal with it.

I just wish none of this had ever happened.

I just wish none of this had ever happened.

He thanks me for writing, asks about my health, and I have to say that in my letters, I sound like my grandparents talking about my pneumonia and my bursitis and arthritis, and I really need to jazz up my topics just a little bit.

He thanks me for writing, asks about my health, and I have to say that in my letters, I sound like my grandparents talking about my pneumonia and my bursitis and arthritis, and I really need to jazz up my topics just a little bit.

I must have had car trouble and mentioned it because he said something about, get your car fixed because you don't want to be driving down the road in the middle of anywhere and it not work. Get it fixed.

I must have had car trouble and mentioned it because he said something about, get your car fixed because you don't want to be driving down the road in the middle of anywhere and it not work. Get it fixed.

I didn't write him back right away, evidently, because he said, I'm glad to hear from you. I thought... You just stopped writing me. I should have known better than that. You ate like most people. I'm sorry for thinking that you would. What I did was wrong. I took a life and for that I will never get out. Almost 35 years in here. This is my home. I have to learn to live with it.

I didn't write him back right away, evidently, because he said, I'm glad to hear from you. I thought... You just stopped writing me. I should have known better than that. You ate like most people. I'm sorry for thinking that you would. What I did was wrong. I took a life and for that I will never get out. Almost 35 years in here. This is my home. I have to learn to live with it.

I just hope that you don't feel that way about me. I can't stop you or blame you for not wanting to write me. People really don't know me at all. I have tried to tell people about me, but they always look down at me as a killer. Would you please do me a favor? I'm not saying you will, but if you do stop writing, please

I just hope that you don't feel that way about me. I can't stop you or blame you for not wanting to write me. People really don't know me at all. I have tried to tell people about me, but they always look down at me as a killer. Would you please do me a favor? I'm not saying you will, but if you do stop writing, please

write and tell me one day I don't like talking about this kind of stuff though all these years people just up and stop writing even though they said they wouldn't I don't blame anyone my family or friends they all have their own life now out there and their own families I just wanted to say this It's been on my mind all week.

write and tell me one day I don't like talking about this kind of stuff though all these years people just up and stop writing even though they said they wouldn't I don't blame anyone my family or friends they all have their own life now out there and their own families I just wanted to say this It's been on my mind all week.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out.

And she was questioning Jeremy.

And she was questioning Jeremy.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out. He told me that he talked to my son, Justin, and he said that Justin listened to the podcast and he wants to write me. I have lived for this day to come. I haven't wrote him since he was 12 or 13. I never understand why or what happened. I really thought that I would never hear from him again. I can't wait to hear from him.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out. He told me that he talked to my son, Justin, and he said that Justin listened to the podcast and he wants to write me. I have lived for this day to come. I haven't wrote him since he was 12 or 13. I never understand why or what happened. I really thought that I would never hear from him again. I can't wait to hear from him.

So much to say to him. Mary, I'm just full of it right now. When Mr. King told me that, he talked to my son. I just lost it. I follow his birthday every year, March 5th from 1989. I don't even know what he looks like, how tall he is, how long his hair might be, if it's straight. I go to bed asking Justin to forgive me for my sins and for not being there for him.

So much to say to him. Mary, I'm just full of it right now. When Mr. King told me that, he talked to my son. I just lost it. I follow his birthday every year, March 5th from 1989. I don't even know what he looks like, how tall he is, how long his hair might be, if it's straight. I go to bed asking Justin to forgive me for my sins and for not being there for him.

All these years later, my son wants to write and talk with me. I'm sorry, Mary. I just don't understand this feeling I'm going through. I just needed someone to talk with, and you are my only friend. He said, I'm acting like a little kid. Sorry. I will write again. I hope things are good there and well for you. Take care of Jeremy.

All these years later, my son wants to write and talk with me. I'm sorry, Mary. I just don't understand this feeling I'm going through. I just needed someone to talk with, and you are my only friend. He said, I'm acting like a little kid. Sorry. I will write again. I hope things are good there and well for you. Take care of Jeremy.

Oh, he had started talking to Mr. King about Justin, and he said, the way Mr. King talks, he sounds like a smart young man. I guess I will find out soon.

Oh, he had started talking to Mr. King about Justin, and he said, the way Mr. King talks, he sounds like a smart young man. I guess I will find out soon.

Dear Mary, it was good to talk with you. Evidently, we had a phone call. He said he got an email from Mr. King and Ms. Kelsey saying they were in Florida and that they had met Justin, my son, and his son, Val.

Dear Mary, it was good to talk with you. Evidently, we had a phone call. He said he got an email from Mr. King and Ms. Kelsey saying they were in Florida and that they had met Justin, my son, and his son, Val.

He is two years old. That makes me a grandpa. I didn't even know that Justin had kids. He listens to the podcast twice, Mr. King said. I hope it doesn't stop him from writing to me. Mr. King said that he wants to visit me and he also wants to meet some of my family. I never thought I would be a grandpa. I hope someday that I will meet both my son and grandson.

He is two years old. That makes me a grandpa. I didn't even know that Justin had kids. He listens to the podcast twice, Mr. King said. I hope it doesn't stop him from writing to me. Mr. King said that he wants to visit me and he also wants to meet some of my family. I never thought I would be a grandpa. I hope someday that I will meet both my son and grandson.

Mr. King told me that he was watching Justin play with his son at the playground. He said Justin is a dedicated father. Justin has a girlfriend who has three daughters of her own, so he is doing good. I'm so glad that he never fell down that bad, dark road that I did. I wish things weren't like this. I really want to know him. I mean, everything. I'm going to be waiting for him to write me.

Mr. King told me that he was watching Justin play with his son at the playground. He said Justin is a dedicated father. Justin has a girlfriend who has three daughters of her own, so he is doing good. I'm so glad that he never fell down that bad, dark road that I did. I wish things weren't like this. I really want to know him. I mean, everything. I'm going to be waiting for him to write me.

You can't even buy deodorant, can you? And I was like, man, she's just, she was harsh. I thought, man, that's awful. I just felt so bad for Jeremy. So I thought, well, I'm going to send Jeremy some money, like $20. You know, I don't know.

You can't even buy deodorant, can you? And I was like, man, she's just, she was harsh. I thought, man, that's awful. I just felt so bad for Jeremy. So I thought, well, I'm going to send Jeremy some money, like $20. You know, I don't know.

I can't be happier. Thank you. Okay, that's it for this time.

I can't be happier. Thank you. Okay, that's it for this time.

Well, Mr. King is still in touch with my son, so I guess he's trying to put what he wants to say on paper. I know it's hard for him. He's going to write. I will be writing. I'm still working on a letter to him, so I know it's hard.

Well, Mr. King is still in touch with my son, so I guess he's trying to put what he wants to say on paper. I know it's hard for him. He's going to write. I will be writing. I'm still working on a letter to him, so I know it's hard.

I tried to do what you told me about writing my son. It's harder than I thought. I'm still working on it. I don't know anything about him. I don't want to lose him, not after all these years. I'm going to keep at it, okay? I hope that I get a letter tonight from you or anyone. It feels good to hear from someone. Well, I just wanted to talk to you again. I hope to hear from you soon.

I tried to do what you told me about writing my son. It's harder than I thought. I'm still working on it. I don't know anything about him. I don't want to lose him, not after all these years. I'm going to keep at it, okay? I hope that I get a letter tonight from you or anyone. It feels good to hear from someone. Well, I just wanted to talk to you again. I hope to hear from you soon.

Get your car fixed. in capital letters and parentheses, and then a smiley face. Take care, Jeremy L. Scott.

Get your car fixed. in capital letters and parentheses, and then a smiley face. Take care, Jeremy L. Scott.

And he knows it, too.

And he knows it, too.

Well, I think it would be, well, I would like to see him get a visit, a visit from his son. That would be like a big high point of his life.

Well, I think it would be, well, I would like to see him get a visit, a visit from his son. That would be like a big high point of his life.

He might not write me at all. I hope that he does. I ain't mad if he doesn't. He has a life to live out there. I'm just going over things in my head. That's all. And he says, I hate that sometimes. I just get this feeling sometimes. I try not to let it get me down. I'm going to put my Game of Thrones down for a while and try to read these others about the dogs.

He might not write me at all. I hope that he does. I ain't mad if he doesn't. He has a life to live out there. I'm just going over things in my head. That's all. And he says, I hate that sometimes. I just get this feeling sometimes. I try not to let it get me down. I'm going to put my Game of Thrones down for a while and try to read these others about the dogs.

And then he says, take care of Jeremy Scott. And then later there's a P.S. And he says, you're going to make me cry all over again. Old Yeller. And he did tell me later in a phone call that he did, in fact, cry because, you know, it's Old Yeller and it's a really good story.

And then he says, take care of Jeremy Scott. And then later there's a P.S. And he says, you're going to make me cry all over again. Old Yeller. And he did tell me later in a phone call that he did, in fact, cry because, you know, it's Old Yeller and it's a really good story.

I think it was right around Christmas. And I don't know, I just said he was, that I thought he had done the right thing to confess what he had done. I knew it had to be hard and that I felt bad because he had said he felt like he slept with ghosts that night. And that was just wanting to help a downtrodden person, really. I didn't have any plans to keep writing him like that, you know.

I think it was right around Christmas. And I don't know, I just said he was, that I thought he had done the right thing to confess what he had done. I knew it had to be hard and that I felt bad because he had said he felt like he slept with ghosts that night. And that was just wanting to help a downtrodden person, really. I didn't have any plans to keep writing him like that, you know.

I think it's on like a half a piece of paper because he didn't have any money to buy paper. It's torn at the bottom, yeah. Go ahead and read it. Okay, so January 31st, 2023. Dear Ms. West, I just want to let you know that I received your letter and to let you know that you were approved. I've been trying to find out who you were.

I think it's on like a half a piece of paper because he didn't have any money to buy paper. It's torn at the bottom, yeah. Go ahead and read it. Okay, so January 31st, 2023. Dear Ms. West, I just want to let you know that I received your letter and to let you know that you were approved. I've been trying to find out who you were.

I even sent a letter to Mr. King, the one that did the podcast on me. I have not had anyone to write me in over 10 years now since my grandma passed away. So I kind of give up on hearing from family. I hope that you can understand my spelling and writing. I haven't wrote for so long and it's hard writing on paper like this because it doesn't have any lines on it.

I even sent a letter to Mr. King, the one that did the podcast on me. I have not had anyone to write me in over 10 years now since my grandma passed away. So I kind of give up on hearing from family. I hope that you can understand my spelling and writing. I haven't wrote for so long and it's hard writing on paper like this because it doesn't have any lines on it.

Oh, and yes, I did like your Christmas card. You were the only one to send me one. Thank you. You said that you want to put some money in my account. Well, I give you my word. I will buy stamps and writing paper. If you got me off podcast, you should know what I am in prison for. I've been locked up since 1988. I was 19 and I went to prison in 1989, have been here since.

Oh, and yes, I did like your Christmas card. You were the only one to send me one. Thank you. You said that you want to put some money in my account. Well, I give you my word. I will buy stamps and writing paper. If you got me off podcast, you should know what I am in prison for. I've been locked up since 1988. I was 19 and I went to prison in 1989, have been here since.

I'm 53 years old now, and right now I'm on CM1 lockdown.

I'm 53 years old now, and right now I'm on CM1 lockdown.

He says, can I ask you something? I ain't never had anyone to want to help me. And now don't get me wrong, I just wanted to know He didn't say why, but I'm guessing he meant to say why. But thank you, and I hope you are well and doing good.

He says, can I ask you something? I ain't never had anyone to want to help me. And now don't get me wrong, I just wanted to know He didn't say why, but I'm guessing he meant to say why. But thank you, and I hope you are well and doing good.

In the beginning, he would send me exactly what he bought at canteen, you know, to show me that he was spending his money wisely.

In the beginning, he would send me exactly what he bought at canteen, you know, to show me that he was spending his money wisely.

Like, here's a piece in a receipt of something. He said, I still have $4 I can use. He said, I did buy deodorant and another bar of soap, and I just wanted to let you know that I used that money for the good.

Like, here's a piece in a receipt of something. He said, I still have $4 I can use. He said, I did buy deodorant and another bar of soap, and I just wanted to let you know that I used that money for the good.

The third letter I got from Jeremy, we talked about football, Gardner Minshew specifically, because that is one person in football that I know about, because he's pretty hot.

The third letter I got from Jeremy, we talked about football, Gardner Minshew specifically, because that is one person in football that I know about, because he's pretty hot.

I got to say, his handwriting is... Really good. It slants evenly and pretty consistently to the right. It's in cursive. For somebody who never made it through high school, he doesn't have a lot of misspellings. So my thought is that he puts a lot of time and effort into his letters.

I got to say, his handwriting is... Really good. It slants evenly and pretty consistently to the right. It's in cursive. For somebody who never made it through high school, he doesn't have a lot of misspellings. So my thought is that he puts a lot of time and effort into his letters.

I just wanted to drop a line so that you would have a letter from me and then a little smiley face drawn on the paper.

I just wanted to drop a line so that you would have a letter from me and then a little smiley face drawn on the paper.

I hate being behind this door all day, but I'm doing everything I can to get off CM.

I hate being behind this door all day, but I'm doing everything I can to get off CM.

He said, you ask if I heard from my son's mama, and I have not since my son was 12 years old. Her name was Jamie C. Allen. I learned she got married, so I don't know her last name. I still have family, they just don't write me. I don't know where they are. My own mom doesn't write me. My son, Justin M. Allen, I don't know where he is anymore.

He said, you ask if I heard from my son's mama, and I have not since my son was 12 years old. Her name was Jamie C. Allen. I learned she got married, so I don't know her last name. I still have family, they just don't write me. I don't know where they are. My own mom doesn't write me. My son, Justin M. Allen, I don't know where he is anymore.

It's hard to think about them knowing that they are my blood family and won't even let me know how the family are. I just don't know what else I can do. I wrote my Aunt Debbie.

It's hard to think about them knowing that they are my blood family and won't even let me know how the family are. I just don't know what else I can do. I wrote my Aunt Debbie.

He talks about he misses his grandma. He asked me one time if I could get a picture of her gravestone.

He talks about he misses his grandma. He asked me one time if I could get a picture of her gravestone.

I was looking at that picture of Grandma, and I used to have the same picture. When I was in prison in Miami, they lost all my stuff. I had another picture of me, Aunt Debbie, and Grandma there. when they came to visit me once and some picture of my son and others as well, but now I have none. Thank you for sending what you could and finding out what you could.

I was looking at that picture of Grandma, and I used to have the same picture. When I was in prison in Miami, they lost all my stuff. I had another picture of me, Aunt Debbie, and Grandma there. when they came to visit me once and some picture of my son and others as well, but now I have none. Thank you for sending what you could and finding out what you could.

Again, he asked, would I please find out his grandma's birth date? And I'm not sure I ever did, so I'm going to follow up on that. Then he said, I also understand that you found some news about my brother.

Again, he asked, would I please find out his grandma's birth date? And I'm not sure I ever did, so I'm going to follow up on that. Then he said, I also understand that you found some news about my brother.

That's my little brother. I would know that face anywhere, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. And he said he had last seen him when he was about 35, and he must be 52 or 53 now.

That's my little brother. I would know that face anywhere, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. And he said he had last seen him when he was about 35, and he must be 52 or 53 now.

May 16, 2023. He thanked me again for sending the obituary, and he said he was looking at it again and rereading it. Thank you so much for the obituary. She was strong, never turned her back on anyone, always trying to help if she could. Sometimes we don't think about stuff that she did for us all, and I feel bad. It took me 34 years to understand what Grandma had been telling me.

May 16, 2023. He thanked me again for sending the obituary, and he said he was looking at it again and rereading it. Thank you so much for the obituary. She was strong, never turned her back on anyone, always trying to help if she could. Sometimes we don't think about stuff that she did for us all, and I feel bad. It took me 34 years to understand what Grandma had been telling me.

I will always remember the good times I had with her. If you find out anything else or get any other pictures, would you please send them? He said, you know, you're really the only person that writes me. Basically, it was just me and Mr. King that were writing him. He says, I also want you to know that I really appreciate everything you have done for me.

I will always remember the good times I had with her. If you find out anything else or get any other pictures, would you please send them? He said, you know, you're really the only person that writes me. Basically, it was just me and Mr. King that were writing him. He says, I also want you to know that I really appreciate everything you have done for me.

I still find myself sometimes looking for help. Sometimes it's good to talk. I hope that you've had a great weekend. Take care, Jeremy Scott.

I still find myself sometimes looking for help. Sometimes it's good to talk. I hope that you've had a great weekend. Take care, Jeremy Scott.

He said that as a kid, he used to have fun in foster homes, never staying long, always getting himself in trouble. And he said, I think that I might have been in more foster homes than any other kid growing up. Some were good and some were real bad. I just wish none of this had ever happened. I never met my dad, don't even know who he was. I asked my mom, but she would never tell me.

He said that as a kid, he used to have fun in foster homes, never staying long, always getting himself in trouble. And he said, I think that I might have been in more foster homes than any other kid growing up. Some were good and some were real bad. I just wish none of this had ever happened. I never met my dad, don't even know who he was. I asked my mom, but she would never tell me.

My mom was a kid when I was born. I think she just turned 15 years old then. I was raised by my grandma and grandpa. I live with it. It does hurt, but I learned some time ago that you have no one to blame but yourself, but it still hurt. I never did grow up. Even now, I, at my age, I still feel like a kid. I'm always thinking things like a kid. Maybe there is something wrong with my head.

My mom was a kid when I was born. I think she just turned 15 years old then. I was raised by my grandma and grandpa. I live with it. It does hurt, but I learned some time ago that you have no one to blame but yourself, but it still hurt. I never did grow up. Even now, I, at my age, I still feel like a kid. I'm always thinking things like a kid. Maybe there is something wrong with my head.

They always said, even in court, that I had the mind of a nine-year-old. He does say that when he looks back that he can see how stupid he was and he never did things the right way until it was too late.

He did say ever since he was seven or eight years old, he always felt like something was wrong with him in the head and that he always felt like people were putting him down or making fun of him and that it hurts real bad. That's one of the reasons that he doesn't go to any groups or anger management classes. He said he did try those and it didn't work and all it did was get him in more trouble.

So now he just tries to work out his problems in his head. I'm sorry for my dog barking in the background. I have two dogs that don't get along. I had told him about, I was dog sitting one of my cleaning clients, three Rottweilers, and he said he was familiar with them and he liked having dogs when he was a kid. And he put a little smiley face, which he doesn't do very often.

He jumps around a lot. Then he says, oh, I really want to get an education. And education is printed in all caps.

He mentioned the old man who... taught him to read when he was on death row from 89 to 93. And he said, an old man was teaching me, and if school could teach me the way he did, I could have been a new person. I can't remember his full name. I always called him Mr. Jackson. He was good at helping not just me, but others as well. He is a black man, about 65 years of age, maybe 68. And he

didn't care what color your skin was. I never saw him again. I heard he got off death row. Someone told me that he had died, but he says that may not be true because he heard rumors that he himself, Jeremy, had died in 2002. I had ordered him a GED study book and he said, that should really be fun because I suck at everything. I only went to the sixth grade and I never got past it.

Math, I don't know at all. I mean, I can add and that's about all I've ever learned. The next letter, he said that he got the three books I sent, and he said, I don't know that I can do this. It looks really hard, but I'm going to try. He says, remember, I told you that I only went to the sixth grade.

He said, really, I only went to the fourth grade, but they moved him up to the sixth because of his age. I sent him a math book on top of that, and I had... I sent him one that was fourth and fifth grade math, and I felt bad doing it because it looks like a kid's book, and I didn't want him to feel embarrassed.

I don't know what the other prisoners see or if they make fun of him for things like that. You know, when I'm more reflective about what is going on here, about me and Jeremy writing letters, I kind of think, Like, Mary, you're insane because here you are talking to basically a mass murderer and worrying about whether he's gonna feel bad because you sent him a fairly childish kind of book.

So, who knows? Truthfully, I just don't think about it too much. I just... Just write the letters, you know, as if he's any other person in my life, maybe like a brother or something. Anyway, so he says he can't do the math, and I guess he's going to have to just read it real slow and try real hard, and maybe something will come to him.

Well, because I clean, I listen to a lot of podcasts to get through the day, and I kind of exhausted all the good ones, like, of course, cereal, and went through all those pretty fast.

Mary, you told me that Mr. King is going to mail me the Game of Thrones 3, 4, and 5. Does he know how to order the books from the bookstore? You might have to let him know. The next letter I got was dated May 9th, 2003. And inside on the very front, he had written in big letters that said, Happy Mother's Day, Mary.

He said that the last two or three days it's been raining real hard and it was cool for a while. I was just thinking about summer and when it gets here, it will be really hot. The bad thing is we have to wear our blues all day from 7 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. I just wet my blue shirt and then put it back on and sit under the window and try to stay cool.

He says he washes his own shirt and pants because if he turns them in, they never come back clean and they often just give you another pair and they don't always fit the same. So he washes them himself and that way he knows they are clean. Then he writes, I try to write a letter like most people do, but when I'm done and reread what I just wrote, it never sounds right.

I just don't want you to think that I ain't trying. He says he felt pretty good right now. It's not as hot and he's clean. He's going to clean his floor. And he said he takes off his blues and will lay right under his window. And the rain comes in just a little bit and hits him in the face and feels good and cool. He said, I did this last night and then went to sleep.

Hope everything is good and you are well and don't work so hard.

Okay. So, it's August... Well, shit. It's September 12th, but... My phone call with Jeremy, the last one I had, was August 15th of 2024. Anyway, so I was not expecting a call from Jeremy because I had not written him in a while. He said that he was fine, that he gets two times a week, he gets to go outside for an hour. But he said the cell was small.

It was about eight feet long and seven feet wide. And he said he is able to shake hands with the cellmates next door to him, but that right now he has no neighbors on either side of him, which sometimes he likes because it's quieter. But sometimes, you know, you miss the interaction. And the operator was saying, you know, our time was running out. So that's how we ended it.

I did it when the kids were in school so that I could go on field trips or go to their swim meets or whatever. I like cleaning, actually, and so I just stayed with it. I was just Googling one day for, like, podcasts set in Florida. Because I really just wanted to hear about local stuff, I guess. And, you know, you came up. Like, I would even...

Probably, but it might be a, I don't know, not everybody wants to be, you know, micromanaged by a mother. Do you ever feel that, like you're just... Yeah, I do. I worry about him. It's like a parental thing. I'll ask him, is he brushing his teeth and taking vitamins and all that, you know? You know, has he been to a dentist or does he need glasses?

Mr. King told me that Leo's parole hearing is next week and he is going to be there. I hope things turn out good for Leo.

You know, of his own accord, he said that he had heard that Leo had been married and he was sure hoping they would let him out soon and that he did everything he could think of to help him. But Polk County, it's just really bad. And he said it's hard to undo or right a wrong. And, you know, that's pretty profound coming from Jeremy, but also true. Life is so fucked up now. Look at Leo.

agree to do a house I didn't want to do because I'd have four hours of uninterrupted listening, you know. The part of the podcast really, and it's still memorable, is when you played the clip of Victoria Avalon.

They really didn't want to even hear Leo's case. No matter how much we try, they just, they won't even listen. When will people just say, stop, let's look at this?

Oh, I guess this is from that call. He said he met Leo's former roommate, and he said he can't remember his name, but the man was coming around doing some kind of education thing with the prison, and he said he had been Leo's roommate for seven years, and he thought that was really cool, and he asked the guy to tell Leo that he... wished him well and all that.

And I, I feel like I'm getting chills as I even say this because he's a murderer, but, um, you know, I really think he cares about Leo and he seems very sincere when he says stuff like that. Like he was really, he was really impressed. He was talking to somebody who actually knew Leo. I just really get the feeling though. He cares about Leo and that's just, I don't know.

I'm not even stoned or drinking, but maybe I should be. Anyway. I hate the way this has turned out and wish it had never happened like this. I hope someday I will come face to face with Leo so I can look at him and say, I'm sorry for what I did. Yes, I still don't sleep good at night and have bad dreams, but not as bad as they were once. I have learned to deal with it.

I just wish none of this had ever happened.

He thanks me for writing, asks about my health, and I have to say that in my letters, I sound like my grandparents talking about my pneumonia and my bursitis and arthritis, and I really need to jazz up my topics just a little bit.

I must have had car trouble and mentioned it because he said something about, get your car fixed because you don't want to be driving down the road in the middle of anywhere and it not work. Get it fixed.

I didn't write him back right away, evidently, because he said, I'm glad to hear from you. I thought... You just stopped writing me. I should have known better than that. You ate like most people. I'm sorry for thinking that you would. What I did was wrong. I took a life and for that I will never get out. Almost 35 years in here. This is my home. I have to learn to live with it.

I just hope that you don't feel that way about me. I can't stop you or blame you for not wanting to write me. People really don't know me at all. I have tried to tell people about me, but they always look down at me as a killer. Would you please do me a favor? I'm not saying you will, but if you do stop writing, please

write and tell me one day I don't like talking about this kind of stuff though all these years people just up and stop writing even though they said they wouldn't I don't blame anyone my family or friends they all have their own life now out there and their own families I just wanted to say this It's been on my mind all week.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out.

And she was questioning Jeremy.

Dear Mary, Mr. King told me something that it about knocked me out. He told me that he talked to my son, Justin, and he said that Justin listened to the podcast and he wants to write me. I have lived for this day to come. I haven't wrote him since he was 12 or 13. I never understand why or what happened. I really thought that I would never hear from him again. I can't wait to hear from him.

So much to say to him. Mary, I'm just full of it right now. When Mr. King told me that, he talked to my son. I just lost it. I follow his birthday every year, March 5th from 1989. I don't even know what he looks like, how tall he is, how long his hair might be, if it's straight. I go to bed asking Justin to forgive me for my sins and for not being there for him.

All these years later, my son wants to write and talk with me. I'm sorry, Mary. I just don't understand this feeling I'm going through. I just needed someone to talk with, and you are my only friend. He said, I'm acting like a little kid. Sorry. I will write again. I hope things are good there and well for you. Take care of Jeremy.

Oh, he had started talking to Mr. King about Justin, and he said, the way Mr. King talks, he sounds like a smart young man. I guess I will find out soon.

Dear Mary, it was good to talk with you. Evidently, we had a phone call. He said he got an email from Mr. King and Ms. Kelsey saying they were in Florida and that they had met Justin, my son, and his son, Val.

He is two years old. That makes me a grandpa. I didn't even know that Justin had kids. He listens to the podcast twice, Mr. King said. I hope it doesn't stop him from writing to me. Mr. King said that he wants to visit me and he also wants to meet some of my family. I never thought I would be a grandpa. I hope someday that I will meet both my son and grandson.

Mr. King told me that he was watching Justin play with his son at the playground. He said Justin is a dedicated father. Justin has a girlfriend who has three daughters of her own, so he is doing good. I'm so glad that he never fell down that bad, dark road that I did. I wish things weren't like this. I really want to know him. I mean, everything. I'm going to be waiting for him to write me.

You can't even buy deodorant, can you? And I was like, man, she's just, she was harsh. I thought, man, that's awful. I just felt so bad for Jeremy. So I thought, well, I'm going to send Jeremy some money, like $20. You know, I don't know.

I can't be happier. Thank you. Okay, that's it for this time.

Well, Mr. King is still in touch with my son, so I guess he's trying to put what he wants to say on paper. I know it's hard for him. He's going to write. I will be writing. I'm still working on a letter to him, so I know it's hard.

I tried to do what you told me about writing my son. It's harder than I thought. I'm still working on it. I don't know anything about him. I don't want to lose him, not after all these years. I'm going to keep at it, okay? I hope that I get a letter tonight from you or anyone. It feels good to hear from someone. Well, I just wanted to talk to you again. I hope to hear from you soon.

Get your car fixed. in capital letters and parentheses, and then a smiley face. Take care, Jeremy L. Scott.

And he knows it, too.

Well, I think it would be, well, I would like to see him get a visit, a visit from his son. That would be like a big high point of his life.

He might not write me at all. I hope that he does. I ain't mad if he doesn't. He has a life to live out there. I'm just going over things in my head. That's all. And he says, I hate that sometimes. I just get this feeling sometimes. I try not to let it get me down. I'm going to put my Game of Thrones down for a while and try to read these others about the dogs.

And then he says, take care of Jeremy Scott. And then later there's a P.S. And he says, you're going to make me cry all over again. Old Yeller. And he did tell me later in a phone call that he did, in fact, cry because, you know, it's Old Yeller and it's a really good story.

I think it was right around Christmas. And I don't know, I just said he was, that I thought he had done the right thing to confess what he had done. I knew it had to be hard and that I felt bad because he had said he felt like he slept with ghosts that night. And that was just wanting to help a downtrodden person, really. I didn't have any plans to keep writing him like that, you know.

I think it's on like a half a piece of paper because he didn't have any money to buy paper. It's torn at the bottom, yeah. Go ahead and read it. Okay, so January 31st, 2023. Dear Ms. West, I just want to let you know that I received your letter and to let you know that you were approved. I've been trying to find out who you were.

I even sent a letter to Mr. King, the one that did the podcast on me. I have not had anyone to write me in over 10 years now since my grandma passed away. So I kind of give up on hearing from family. I hope that you can understand my spelling and writing. I haven't wrote for so long and it's hard writing on paper like this because it doesn't have any lines on it.

Oh, and yes, I did like your Christmas card. You were the only one to send me one. Thank you. You said that you want to put some money in my account. Well, I give you my word. I will buy stamps and writing paper. If you got me off podcast, you should know what I am in prison for. I've been locked up since 1988. I was 19 and I went to prison in 1989, have been here since.

I'm 53 years old now, and right now I'm on CM1 lockdown.

He says, can I ask you something? I ain't never had anyone to want to help me. And now don't get me wrong, I just wanted to know He didn't say why, but I'm guessing he meant to say why. But thank you, and I hope you are well and doing good.

In the beginning, he would send me exactly what he bought at canteen, you know, to show me that he was spending his money wisely.

Like, here's a piece in a receipt of something. He said, I still have $4 I can use. He said, I did buy deodorant and another bar of soap, and I just wanted to let you know that I used that money for the good.

The third letter I got from Jeremy, we talked about football, Gardner Minshew specifically, because that is one person in football that I know about, because he's pretty hot.

I got to say, his handwriting is... Really good. It slants evenly and pretty consistently to the right. It's in cursive. For somebody who never made it through high school, he doesn't have a lot of misspellings. So my thought is that he puts a lot of time and effort into his letters.

I just wanted to drop a line so that you would have a letter from me and then a little smiley face drawn on the paper.

I hate being behind this door all day, but I'm doing everything I can to get off CM.

He said, you ask if I heard from my son's mama, and I have not since my son was 12 years old. Her name was Jamie C. Allen. I learned she got married, so I don't know her last name. I still have family, they just don't write me. I don't know where they are. My own mom doesn't write me. My son, Justin M. Allen, I don't know where he is anymore.

It's hard to think about them knowing that they are my blood family and won't even let me know how the family are. I just don't know what else I can do. I wrote my Aunt Debbie.

He talks about he misses his grandma. He asked me one time if I could get a picture of her gravestone.

I was looking at that picture of Grandma, and I used to have the same picture. When I was in prison in Miami, they lost all my stuff. I had another picture of me, Aunt Debbie, and Grandma there. when they came to visit me once and some picture of my son and others as well, but now I have none. Thank you for sending what you could and finding out what you could.

Again, he asked, would I please find out his grandma's birth date? And I'm not sure I ever did, so I'm going to follow up on that. Then he said, I also understand that you found some news about my brother.

That's my little brother. I would know that face anywhere, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. And he said he had last seen him when he was about 35, and he must be 52 or 53 now.

May 16, 2023. He thanked me again for sending the obituary, and he said he was looking at it again and rereading it. Thank you so much for the obituary. She was strong, never turned her back on anyone, always trying to help if she could. Sometimes we don't think about stuff that she did for us all, and I feel bad. It took me 34 years to understand what Grandma had been telling me.

I will always remember the good times I had with her. If you find out anything else or get any other pictures, would you please send them? He said, you know, you're really the only person that writes me. Basically, it was just me and Mr. King that were writing him. He says, I also want you to know that I really appreciate everything you have done for me.

I still find myself sometimes looking for help. Sometimes it's good to talk. I hope that you've had a great weekend. Take care, Jeremy Scott.

He said that as a kid, he used to have fun in foster homes, never staying long, always getting himself in trouble. And he said, I think that I might have been in more foster homes than any other kid growing up. Some were good and some were real bad. I just wish none of this had ever happened. I never met my dad, don't even know who he was. I asked my mom, but she would never tell me.

My mom was a kid when I was born. I think she just turned 15 years old then. I was raised by my grandma and grandpa. I live with it. It does hurt, but I learned some time ago that you have no one to blame but yourself, but it still hurt. I never did grow up. Even now, I, at my age, I still feel like a kid. I'm always thinking things like a kid. Maybe there is something wrong with my head.