Michael Easter

And I just allowed myself to be a very free person.

I had been so...

diligent and regimented and tried to be as perfect as I could be with every single meal I had eaten down to every single, you know, two, three, four workouts a day.

I just been so locked down for so many years of my life, basically all of my twenties.

That I didn't know how to just be a free bird.

And so when I retired after that fight, I remember hitting a very dark moment where I was on to contemplating taking my own life.

Oh, geez.

Because I didn't, I thought I was a loser.

It was the first time I'd lost two fights in a row.

I didn't have any value in myself other than being a fighter or very, very little.

And I remember in that moment,

Really thinking about it.

Is my life still worth living?

Or should I just end it now?

And there was like a pinhole of light in the room.

And to me, that was my spirituality.

That was the only thing in that moment that I had.

It didn't have a person around me.

I didn't have anyone that I felt like would understand exactly what I was going through.

except for God.