Michael Gervais

So let's call it path A and path B. Path B is that generative excitement and path A is that nervousness.

Well, that begins in your closet.

And it begins well before that, but we'll just start at the closet.

When you're going and picking out your clothes and you're making some decisions about what are you going to feel comfortable in, path B, as opposed to how will Susie or Xander or Johnny like the clothes that I'm wearing?

Am I going to show up in my best because it's going to look a certain way?

And am I going to wear that watch because it's my best watch?

Or am I going to wear the watch that feels comfortable to me?

So those are path A, path B. And path A is really about a performance-based identity, is that you have to look a certain way and you have to perform in a certain way relative to other people to be okay.

And as long as I can outperform somebody else, then I'm okay.

But if I'm underperformed or I'm not showing up in the right way and they are judging me or potentially rejecting me or they're accepting me, then I'm okay.

Like I'm in the right slipstream, but it's contingent on them.

And so I shapeshift to be okay in front of them.

Call that again, path A.

in my closet and i'm choosing clothes that feel comfortable that feel celebratory that whatever whatever whatever and i'm walking into the um that party and i'm saying to myself i can't wait to catch up with i can't wait to see how you know roger's thinking about this new venture that he's doing or whatever so that it's a whole different way of going and that is purpose-based identity so the from two here

is from a performance-based identity.

And Mike, most of us in the Western world have a performance-based identity.

And it makes perfect sense because we live in a outcome and performance-obsessed world.

So it makes perfect sense that from a young age, we start to figure out who we are is really how well we're able to do something.

That is why public speaking is one of the great dangers and great fears in the Western world is because it's all about how you perform, as opposed to an environment that is more purpose-based.

And a purpose is like it's something far greater than you.