Michael Kosta

How big was the oil tanker you seized, Abraham Lincoln?

Tall, little-ass bitch.

Trump really will find a way to brag about anything.

I seized the largest oil tanker.

I had the best MRI.

I had the perfect phone call.

I'm best friends with the world's greatest pedophile.

You know...

You know why you keep winning, Donald Trump?

You're the only one in the competition.

That's why that creepy-ass hand orgy trophy is all yours, dude.

No one else wants it.

No one is quite sure why Trump is going after Venezuela so hard.

But the fact is, Venezuela is being threatened, which is why yesterday, their president, Nicolas Maduro, came out in what I assume is his most threatening war hat to deliver a response.

And look, I know that looks unserious, but this is a president addressing his own country on the brink of war.

Let's see how he responds.

This guy is about to be overthrown.

How is he so chill?

Maybe they do have the best drugs, huh?

So it seems like war with Venezuela is inevitable, even though Venezuelans don't want it, Americans don't want it, and Donald Trump still isn't quite sure if Venezuela is a country or his cleaning lady.