Michael Kosta

Why is everybody they appoint so crazy?

Can they just find a normal person with a normal head on his shoulders who believes normal things?

What kind of sailors does this guy even wanna recruit?

When you're using a drag queen to recruit for the Navy, that's not the people we want.

What we need is alpha males and alpha females.

Alpha females, right.

So drag queens.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe we need alpha males who will beat the shit out of our enemies and alpha females who will mock their insecurities so precisely they'll never leave the house again.

But what exactly will the alpha males and females do that others can't?

Those are young men and women that are going to win wars.

You want alpha males and females who eat their own ripped out guts?

Maybe I don't know what war is.

I mean, I guess it might freak out the enemy if they see the alpha soldiers pulling out their own stomachs and eating them, but that's only gonna work once.

Also, not to be nitpicky, but if you eat your own guts, where do they go?

For more on Hung Cao and his new leadership at the Navy, let's go live to Jordan Klepper in Arlington, Virginia.

Jordan, was there no one else who could have filled the role that wasn't a Trump donor or insane extremist?

Nope.

Back to you, Michael.