Michael Smoak

Um, so I'm, uh, we fly in and we've got an episode the next day, or maybe we'd recorded with Ben that day.

And it was 6 30 PM at night and I went to bed and I woke up at 7 AM in the morning and the guys had gone for dinner and done some adventure thing.

And I just felt so on the outside.

I felt very much on the outside.

I wasn't me.

I didn't have access to me.

And it just kept getting worse.

It kept getting worse, kept getting worse.

It's getting more tired.

And I was trying to take a break.

I wasn't pushing myself as hard.

So I'm like, I'm being more gentle with myself.

And the more gentle I am, the more tired I get.

And all I wanted was to have access back to the texture of my mind.

I really love...

inhabiting my own mind it's a really lovely place to be for the most part but I remember one of my friends her dad was ill and ill for a long time and was getting his mental capacities were being diminished over time

And he turned to her once in the hospital bed and he said, this illness has taken everything from me.

It's even taken myself.

And I think what he meant by that was, especially for smart people or people that are competent and feel like they have agency and sovereignty in the world,

What you rely on is your mental faculties.