Mike Carruthers

Is there a personality style?

Is there something else to being this, you know, self-confident, I can take on the world kind of person?

And what are those four attributes?

Do you think self-doubt is lack of self-confidence or self-confidence is lack of self-doubt or it doesn't really matter?

Confidence.

But it seems that any time you do something new, it doesn't seem like you can trust yourself much to do it well because you've never done it before.

So you're not trusting that you'll do it well.

You're trusting...

that you'll live through it, or what are you trusting?

So one of the things that I think, well, and it's been my experience too, one of the things that holds people back that seems to sap your confidence, that seems to make your mind full of thoughts of horror, is what will other people think?

Why is it so important that, I mean, I know why, but I mean, it seems like overly important, and it seems to be a real...

And yet, and I remember hearing somebody say this, and I love this, you know what other people think?

nothing they're not thinking about you they they're thinking about them they're thinking about being rejected themselves and that that we we imagine that what people might think but it almost never happens and yet we don't learn from that that you know it's probably okay that even if people don't like you it's not the end of the world it is not i love what you just shared

I would imagine that how well you are able to deal with self-doubt has a lot to do with the people around you, whether they're supportive and encouraging or they're critical and give you reason to doubt yourself.

Something that seems very related to this is the imposter syndrome, that sense of when you do succeed, that you feel like you've somehow faked it, that you don't belong here, that you don't deserve a chair at the table.

And how does that work into this?

Well, you know, I think everyone can take something from what you've said because no one gets very far in life without experiencing self-doubt and experiencing just the things you've been talking about.

I've been talking with Sade Zerahi.

She is a behavioral researcher and peak performance educator.

And she's author of the book, Big Trust, Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence.