Mike Coase

For some reason, all of my friends, we all went with nobody. Okay. But then here's the thing. So I thought I was going to win prom queen. Why would you think that? Because I was popular. Okay. Yeah. I was funny. I was in all the plays. I was on the announcement crew. I was in the student government.

I was also MVP of the lacrosse team. Okay. And I was in cross country.

I was also MVP of the lacrosse team. Okay. And I was in cross country.

I was also MVP of the lacrosse team. Okay. And I was in cross country.

Yeah, I was very sporty.

Yeah, I was very sporty.

Yeah, I was very sporty.

Captain of the lacrosse team. MVP. MVP of the lacrosse team. My lacrosse teacher, Mr. Zach, who I had a huge crush on. Okay. Give me the award. So I think I'm going to win. It's called Missy Stork. Missy Stork. This girl, Virginia Shoelist. Whore! I'll never forget it. She was such a fucking loser. You know you were, Virginia. She was such a fucking loser. No one liked her.

Captain of the lacrosse team. MVP. MVP of the lacrosse team. My lacrosse teacher, Mr. Zach, who I had a huge crush on. Okay. Give me the award. So I think I'm going to win. It's called Missy Stork. Missy Stork. This girl, Virginia Shoelist. Whore! I'll never forget it. She was such a fucking loser. You know you were, Virginia. She was such a fucking loser. No one liked her.

Captain of the lacrosse team. MVP. MVP of the lacrosse team. My lacrosse teacher, Mr. Zach, who I had a huge crush on. Okay. Give me the award. So I think I'm going to win. It's called Missy Stork. Missy Stork. This girl, Virginia Shoelist. Whore! I'll never forget it. She was such a fucking loser. You know you were, Virginia. She was such a fucking loser. No one liked her.

She was like a goody-goody two shoes. She counted the ballots. She wins.

She was like a goody-goody two shoes. She counted the ballots. She wins.

She was like a goody-goody two shoes. She counted the ballots. She wins.

She gets booed. Everyone is booing her. She comes over off the podium, hands me the crown, and goes, I think this should have been yours. No fucking kidding, bitch. Who's got East York tattooed on their finger? I was so pissed off. So you're the people's champ. I'm the people's champ.

She gets booed. Everyone is booing her. She comes over off the podium, hands me the crown, and goes, I think this should have been yours. No fucking kidding, bitch. Who's got East York tattooed on their finger? I was so pissed off. So you're the people's champ. I'm the people's champ.

She gets booed. Everyone is booing her. She comes over off the podium, hands me the crown, and goes, I think this should have been yours. No fucking kidding, bitch. Who's got East York tattooed on their finger? I was so pissed off. So you're the people's champ. I'm the people's champ.

No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But even Mr. Zaff came up.

No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But even Mr. Zaff came up.

No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. But even Mr. Zaff came up.

Because she got booed that fucking badly. Nobody would have voted for her. Everybody hated her.