Milam Byers

And there's another part of this.

Yeah.

I mean,

I've been in the midst of a kind of a wilderness season the last two years of my life.

And those truths that I've learned and I've developed and the seeds that God has grown through that loss and even those words are really like that daily sustenance and time with Him and just,

not understanding things, but just putting my faith and trust that there's something else going on.

You know, there's something bigger at play here.

And there's a, there's a part of this that the very few people know, um, that was kind of another, I think a bookend to what happened.

And

it was the night after josh was killed we were back here in nashville we're all crammed in this apartment and i couldn't sleep i didn't want to keep anybody else awake or for them to know so i went into the closet and i shut the door

And it was just kind of one of, you know, like when scripture says like the groans that are too deep to understand, that's what I was feeling.

I didn't know if I, you know, like it wasn't, I was just crying or I was emotional.

It was like a groaning, a longing, a deep sadness.

And middle of the night, I'm not asleep.

but I get the only vision I've ever had in my life happens in that closet.

And all of a sudden I'm in Iraq and I'm where it happened.

And God shows me this vision of his hand coming down out of the clouds and like literally just snatching up Josh.

And I hear him say, I've got him.

And then there's kind of a, there's kind of a freeze frame at that point.

And it kind of turns into an oil painting in my mind.