Milam Byers

Like he's real.

I don't understand it.

Like why it happened the way it did, you know?

Like I've gone through,

the anger of like, it ruined my engagement.

My mom's birthday has never been the same, obviously.

We're trying to celebrate her and think about her birthday, but we all know what happened on that day.

Just a lot of things, but I think

I've always had like a, I think an appreciation and almost an obsession with like the theology of suffering and pain.

And that sounds weird, but what I mean by that is how people that have gone through just insurmountable grief and pain in their life

and how it strengthens their faith and how the Bible is full, is threaded throughout with this, this theology of suffering and pain.

And, you know, the gospel is the only, the only answer to that.

And what I mean is like the gospel is the only thing where your weakness is not wasted.

And I mean, weakness, I mean, in grief and loss and a whole lot of unanswered questions.

Our weakness is not wasted.

It's actually because of the cross is actually where God does the work.

It's like the roots.

And so in losing Josh and in, I mean, really being given that gift,

There's absolutely no guarantee that I would know his last words or that I would know that story I just told you.

but I think it's a gift.