Miles

Yeah. In the beginning, in the beginning, it looked a little hopping. Well, Charlamagne put the fucking pressure on.

No, but it was crazy. He came in with a jersey, cornrows and stuff like that, and then he switched it up real quick.

Yeah.

I had fun. What'd you do? Family also in Philly. You were both in Philly? Yeah.

You made an effort. Yeah. But you didn't end up doing it. We endeavored. I didn't know he was there the whole time. I didn't hit him until yesterday.

My mom refuses to get in my Tesla. Why? She's anti. She's liberal, dude.

She goes to, like, protests now. No way. Oh, she's bored, bro. Yeah. Oh, that's wild. But I like it. She's made some friends.

He was like, you Christians looking shaky in the light.

That's what you are. I'm saying.

That is the most disrespectful thing she could do to him. So it's like, I like that. Oh, that's a good point. He don't get nothing out of it. Oh, because he could dominate him.

It's done.

In front of everyone is crazy. And they got like the logs that you just light this and then it just starts.

Are you building a bunker too? Say again? Are you going to build a bunker? I wouldn't tell you if I was.

Yeah.

Wikipedia everything you do before you do it.

That makes sense. It checks out.

Why does it have to be clean?

They still throwing missiles?

Wir machen eine kulinarische Reise.

I mean, if they did that to you, they wouldn't get access either. You don't remember your password.

But that's on them. Call my mom. So maybe it's that. Don't choose me.

and then they're sending money to other people and now you would know the nefarious things that people are doing with their money i mean that but like to steel man it'd just be like yeah it's a security risk i don't want people knowing that i just got paid five million dollars in you know bitcoin and they have my name they can find my address got it so i'm pretty sure you have your own wallet information so if you wanted to disclose that you can to try to track shit but for all the people trying to do illegal shit they're like okay i want to get away with this shit so

Is it fucked up I have zero sympathy for kidnapping crypto billionaires? Tell me, tell me, tell me. I don't know. I just don't feel bad about it. They like gambled. They made a lot of money gambling. It's like, eh.

Now that Bitcoin's at an all-time high. Oh, I didn't make any money.

It's rated. I gotta push back on that. It is rated. This is the guy who complains about Manhattan.

I think we're relying on three too much. Cat needs to take his zesty ass to the hole. Son. He just got a drive ball.

Yeah, I've heard this. In NBA history?

He is the greatest. And I just said, he should stop shooting.

I stopped watching. Did you leave before?

I was watching on TV.

And with Brunson, I feel like they got his handle down where it's like they know when he's going to do his behind-the-back move. They've been picking it from him quite a bit.

How much? You just said 100%. I put a hefty amount. 100% could be life savings. That could be. I got a child, bro. So you're not feeling 100% there.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It makes no difference.

I feel like he had the chip on his shoulder for the LA series. And then after that, he's good.

They don't do this with NBA. You don't got to bring girls.

But I'm saying...

You know what's funny? They're already having them do the fucking walk-in dressed in barely anything. That's enough.

It's like white people dancing. It's like one, one, two, three.

Yeah, basically. I do dress very lesbian. She's beautiful. Yeah, come on now. She's beautiful. And great for the league. She knows how to walk.

Yeah, we don't disrespect wives. We only disrespect bitches. Come on. The girlfriends, they bitches. Damn, Al. Damn. The way you say it, even.

Oh, man. Sorry, Cassie.

Talk therapy.

I want to give a little pushback. Please, please. I think there's the place for both of the styles of interviews. Yeah. Like, I like the way Rogan does—because his is, like, he's curious.

But, like, if you go with a journalist who's done their research, if it feels genuine, as long as they're not just, like, trying to have a moment, like, if that's what her views are and maybe most of the people who watch this channel, they share similar views— I think it's actually good to have the interview from that point of view and then have the person there who can rebut it. It means more.

Like I watched that interview. I was like, oh, wow, this is good because this girl went in a little bit narrow minded and Tim was able to debunk all those.

It's the no power slap. Yeah. I got it plenty times.

But no disrespect, is that anything different than what Club Shay Shay does?

God damn, bro.

Power slap is a good league. I would take open head slap over punch any day.

And to give her a little grace, maybe she just heard what you said. And now it's like, oh, I'm assuming that people are being told this is the comedy we perform here. Because I hear that a lot of young comics will perform here.

Let's talk about this. Optically, it looked like that during the election.

Or good parenting.

You got to retract that interview. But that's for some corrections. But isn't that interesting?

Narratives go fly and it is what it is. Yeah.

If you're a politician, if you don't go speak everywhere, I don't trust you. You got something to hide.

That's true, but the party in power is still blaming the party that's no longer in power for everything going wrong.

What were you going to say, Al? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying I don't think all people intended to put themselves out there in that way. Some people really like journalism, like media. It used to stand for something. I do feel there are people that went to school, went to journalism school, and it's like, yo, I want to get the truth out there.

I want to spread the message, but I don't care about being the face of it.

I can think another option would be maybe that's coming from a place of their losing power. Okay.

Can't have no other dude's voice in a room.

We need Doge, bro.

They need Doge. India would never. If they're going to do it anyway, might as well make some money off it. Fair, I guess.

See, that's amazing. They make everybody do that for Hollywood, bro.

Come on now. Why just me? Because it's just you. Well, talk about y'all wives in the beginning.

That's a tongue. That's a tongue. Y'all going crazy. You going crazy. No.

This motherfucker looked like a Neanderthal the last three weeks.

That's funny.

He was on here every single week. He just left his kid, bro. Pull it up. This shit is so funny.

He's trying to cut. He's trying to cut. He's like, I got 13 of these little motherfuckers.

Yeah, he's trying to make more of them. That is wild. Look at the kid. Look how far back the kid is, dog.

But you are talking about your wives.

I think you just put the shit in their mouth. They don't know. That's what you think. Just wait. Anyway, you're going to have some babies. I like the choice he made with him.

Yep. Shoes off.

Yeah. Everybody's getting exposed today. This episode is taking the best part. He just said I'm wearing thin socks.

I think he's six foot. I didn't pick up on it.

That's crazy.

No, I'm not happy that she's cheated, but I'm like, yeah, rearrange some IUDs. I like that.

Mark, can you explain it? Okay, Miles, go. You tell everyone okay, we're gonna say give me the money and then everyone Cheers and then the last person isn't in on the joke and they do it if each person does it more and more Exaggerated and the fourth person to do it or the last person to do it. No one Cheers and everyone laughs at them.

I'm not even in it.

Wait, what happened? What was this? I flew home to go see my parents in Florida. And then a hurricane hit. Oh, I thought you were going to say, like, fucking South Africa or something crazy. Dude, that'd be so sick.

That was great.

UFC fighters. There's popular judo fighters. They do well in the Olympics. I have a question. Izzy, I know you're a big fan of anime and video games and all of that. When you were a kid, I don't know if you had the same thing. When I was a kid, I watched a lot of Dragon Ball Z. And I would just imagine I'm Whoever it was at the time. Yeah. You sort of got to grow up and be them.

You got to be Goku or Gohan or Trunks or whoever your guy was. Who was your guy when you were a kid? And also, if you were in that world now, if you were in their universe, who would you want to fight the most? Ooh. That's a good one. Okay, so. That was a good question. Yeah, I didn't know where you were going for a while.

Zach was black, that's all I remember. He died. Yeah.

fucking power ranger had a roommate dude he was in a flex three bedroom crazy power ranger stories yeah the first cast of power rangers were really popular and they were like yo we want more money uh and there's a non-union set and they just fired all of them and brought new kids in and nobody gave a fuck yeah

Oh yeah.

Boom, boom, boom. Turn around straight away. I like it. Oh, he's been in some tussles before. Yeah, I know. Michael Ailey is like a street kid. Yeah. What's his name?

People were mad at the mayor that she was in Ghana. Yeah. You see that? Yeah, yeah. Wait, I think she left before the fires. Yeah.

Religious people believe in demons. Dove believes in demons. Let the record show. You're a religious Jew. You go to synagogue every day, and according to Jewish religion, you have to believe that there's good and evil. And that the evils are demons. Sure.

Like she was there already. Which, just what a fucking stressful.

so hold on she's just backing up into the nespresso every morning yeah well it's put into like a like a canteen oh she doesn't go right from the tap she doesn't just you gotta cool down you gotta cool down make a room temp and then put it in the in the little little container and then tube it up got it she doesn't go for ice coffee you know refreshing okay

Yeah, what is LA's relationship with Ghana? Like, why do they need, like, good... She want to go to Ghana.

She want the government to pay for it.

It's the place to go in.

People do this to Ted Cruz when he left to go to Cancun. I hate him still to this day.

But have you ever had to cancel a family vacation? And you know how stressful it is? Like, think about also his perspective, like having to tell your wife and kids, like, hey, we're not going to Cancun.

Why is he politicizing this, bro? It's right there.

In and out. There wasn't like a mayor of Cancun getting inaugurated or something? It might have been political. He might have been going to see Bad Bunny or something. I don't know.

It's your city, literally. What if she just sprinted? What if she just got off the plane and just full sprint?

She better pick up the speed. Yeah.

then it'd be fine i don't even understand like they interviewed her and she was just like dude no dad's silent looking down it's crazy what do you want to say what do you what is she supposed to like let her have her prepared answers you had a whole fucking international flight to prepare answers it's too much yeah you just made him sick again so what ends up happening well did you see the reservoir wasn't filled up

That's the funniest lady in the world. That woman runs the PTA like it's the Marines. She goes, Governor Newsom, you need to call the president. Where's Biden? And she's like, he's like, I'm going to call him.

I love it.

Bro, she's demanding to talk to the president of the United States.

No. Oh, yeah. The jet fuel, it can't melt them. So people think it controls demolition. Is that what you're talking about? I just fucking hate them.

No, smell me. Smell me. Smell me.

It was white when I bought it.

Mark's maple rub, bro. That's what I do. I got you. That's crazy.

We're going to sell that. Sell that shit to CBS, bro. You saw Trump release the official audio of what the conversation was.

He's just eyeing her down, bro. Come on.

There's certainly a follow-up question. And I thought everyone had follow-up questions.

It's funny. Nah, it's fine.

It's the best.

Do you see old Bush tapping up his boy? Oh, that was sick, dude. This one right here, this is the funniest thing. What do you mean? Just frat star W just walking in, seeing his homie. Barack? Yeah, right here. What's that play?

That's exactly what it was. He said it. Like, they had just been hanging out. He did.

What? Buying TikTok? Nope. After being president and just hanging with the other presidents, being like, yo, that shit was fucking good.

That would be the most fun part.

Hannah Burnham shouts.

We need to validate you.

The president knows as much as us. There you go.

Yeah, literally. Yes. That's where this convo came from. Because I was talking to a guy that was telling me about aliens. And I was like, yo, maybe, dude. They're so convicted when they're telling me about aliens.

Had enough. Yes, the president doesn't know all the stuff.

And even that's getting mitigated. Have you seen that AI app? You can just take a picture of a sign. It tells you if you can park there. That's how lazy we've gotten. What?

There's an app. People don't want to read a sign, so they just take a picture of it, and then the app's like, no, you can't park there. What do you mean, don't want to? We read it, but it's incredibly convoluted.

That is a good point. That is a good point.

I'm not so good.

Yeah, I agree.

That's why LA's on fire.

You can lose that.

You're like, I don't believe that. So I watched Wicked, and I was like, eh, I don't know.

He sucks at that. I disagree with you. I don't think they tell him the historical files. I think they just tell him what's going on right now. They say, hey, Russia's trying to kill everybody. Yeah. That's what you got to know. And he goes, what about JFK? And they go, why are you bringing up bullshit? But what about Pearl Harbor? Did that even happen?

I mean that.

Yeah. And thanks for not coughing into your hands. That genuinely bugs me. If I see someone sneezing their hands. You need to shut up about hygiene right now.

You guys are a fucking nerd. No, I'm not contagious because if I smell.

Yeah, I mean, that's a myth, for the record. That is absolutely a propaganda tool done by a capitalist America. Yes. By the Resnicks? By the fucking Resnicks.

No. I use natural. I use nat. I take the essential oils and shit.

Exactly.

Nah, that's crazy. Everyone wants a natural woman, so they go full natch, and then you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You see a girl with a BBL and fucking huge tits, and everyone's like, oh, I want a natural girl. They haven't figured the BBLs out, but the rest of the shit they figured out.

BBL Baby's a hip-hop song by Kash Patek. I feel like that's the CIA director. Yeah, that's what I thought, too. No, it's a mini BBL. That's what they call them in the biz. I mean, I can see how Al fucked that up.

I sometimes don't think it's a surgeon, bro. I think it's girls going, give me the fattest thing possible. Oh, so it's their decisions. I think it's user error a little bit. Really?

Anyway. Okay, so. I give a little bit of a leash. Yeah. Okay, but then some things, like Flat Earth, that's not true. But you would give a leash to believe it.

That's some scumbag shit right there. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, that's the whole back surgery thing with Mangione. What happened with him? It was like, apparently there's like a back surgery racket that's going on. Okay. Where like the saying is like, the first back surgery is unnecessary, but the second one is necessary. And why is that?

And that like they're over prescribing medical intervention on back.

You've got to start in your family. I feel like you know so many doctors. Yeah, why are you going to a non- Stop going outsourced.

Keep it in networks.

In networks. Or right out of college.

Exactly. Because?

Because? Because. No, you look into it. You say, okay, the light can't go through the hole. Didn't even look into it.

But when you're in an airplane, you look out and you go, it seems flat.

around not flat at all I agree but you think that it's flat it's not flat it could be you give a leash to the idea that it's flat well it is measurably flat in our existence on the earth the glass is thick on the airplane so it makes it look round from our POV on the plane I get it it's experientially flat but it's not actually flat in actuality that's true

Keep the aluminum off your lymph nodes, all right? Stop using all these chemicals. Do a coffee enema once or six times a day, and you'll be fine, all right? Big medicine doesn't want you to know about the coffee enema, okay? Detox your colon. What about you holding a laptop on your balls for the last four years? Not on my balls. I keep it intentionally off my sack, and I also don't ride that low.

I stay pretty much perched the whole time. I am. It's true. I am a little Kiwi. Does she do it in the tub? Like where? I'm trying to understand. The shower, I think.

Standing in the doo-doo. I mean, I think it's a laying down thing. Oh, goodness. I think it's laying down. I'm not sure.

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like cleaning out a Jeep. You got to be on the hill and then kind of just let it all move out. This is wild, dude. I haven't asked. I haven't looked. I mean, we can look into it. I've been tagged in so many fucking Instagram posts.

You got to waffle stomp a little bit, probably. Oh, my God, yo.

He did as much as he could.

Look, we're biohacking. He prepared... She got a French roast. Yeah. This is crazy. You can pick the one you want. Okay. You do the French press. Pour over. Yeah, exactly. And then you get this little tube here.

That part seems fun. You don't have to say that part.

I've never asked. I don't know the nature of her GI.

Yeah. I genuinely don't. It doesn't get discussed in the home. Has she ever tried just drinking coffee? Like, that's pretty effective.

If the issue is constipation. Yeah. I mean, she does do that. Yeah. I think she's taking it both ways.

I'm just saying, runs in a family, bro.

Wait, how'd you find out? I just saw a giant bag in the shower. So you asked her about it? No, I asked one of my siblings. I was like, yo, what is that bag? And they're like, oh, coffee enema. And I said, all right, well, I guess we'll never talk about that until I'm on the podcast. I'll just keep that a family secret until a million people watch it. And here we are. Yo, I love this shit.

She makes sounds like... No! Why?

I agree with you. You never... begrudgingly and unfortunately mom i agree with you fully okay i've never tried one for the pod dude they can help relieve constipation they can detox bacteria parasites and heavy metals they can boost immunity and also there's no scientific evidence that the port these all right Anti-aging also. There's a whole bunch of benefits. Coffee enema, huh? Yeah.

I'm just saying, look into it. Your guys' families are getting over-prescribed by the medical industry.

She's definitely got to hear these feelings. They should do that as a therapy. Everyone gets shit-faced and then they can really start talking. Yeah. Right? Every therapy I've ever been in is fully sober. Yeah.

How do you feel? You don't go loose to therapy? No, I should. Oh, I always. I'm always.

Oh, yeah.

Those therapy sessions are mad short. I remember I went to one and they're like, all right, it's an hour long sesh. And they go, well, technically it's 50 minutes. And then the first eight minutes is how are you doing? Yeah. And the last five minutes is debrief. So you got 30 minutes to unpack your entire life trauma.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, I think people also kind of do that on purpose. They see the clock's running out and they're like, all right, let me just dump some shit and then keep it moving. Hell yeah. And so they just get it all out and they're like, yeah, I talked about it. But then they don't actually work on it and then they keep it pushing. Sounds like that's what you do. Of course.

You got to just dump right at the end.

So you tried to kill yourself? You're like, maybe.

I was drunk. I don't even remember saying it.

a patient with back pain that killed a guy yeah as a ceo we're gonna know wait a second sounds familiar but yeah i also don't believe that anytime a doctor's like oh i have a patient that's just like a comic being like well today i'm like oh that's there today i was walking down really really

It's actually brilliant.

For shits and gays! That's too pers, because then she's gonna be like, oh, you're talking about me. Hopefully she never watches the fucking pod. Well, now she will. It's going to come back to us.

Put it by your mic. I just had a question, okay? I'm here with some of my friends, right? And by no means do you have to talk about this. Hi, Mrs. Gagnon. Hi. Hi, Mrs. Gagnon.

You don't have to talk about this if you wouldn't like to.

These guys don't believe in the benefits of coffee enemas, and I said, oh, no, I think there are a lot of benefits, and I wanted to ask you, are there any benefits of coffee enemas if you're willing to talk about it?

Detoxes your liver, increases glutathione. Good things.

So people have been doing this for 60, 70 years, maybe even longer.

No, I thought they were arson.

Not new at all.

That's what I'm talking about. We knew you wouldn't be embarrassed about that. I thought you'd be embarrassed to talk about it, Mom.

Well, that is also true. By the Resnicks. And BlackRock. And BlackRock also. Okay. Agash was really caught up about this. I was really. I mean, I'm the real victim, dude. And I got the flu, dude. Can't catch a break this week, dude. Dude, what is this? Why, God? Why?

This is not a true story.

We all did it together. Yes. I think we should all do it. Like a hookah. We get eight of them lined up. We just fucking let it rip, dude. Octopus. That'd be fire. See, we're going to get so fucking healthy.

You don't inhale a cigar. You just put it in your mouth.

Yeah. I've never actually done a hookah. I've never been like, oh, let's all sit and do it. We did in Morocco. Follow us. But it's like, I feel like it wasn't like... Why don't you take back what you just said? Yeah, I know, you just... Why don't you start... Your mom was right.

Bro, they said you look like the shrugging head guy from Beetlejuice.

You did say that out loud. Because in my mind, I'm like, I didn't like sit down and be like, oh, I'm going to chief this hookah. I like hit it one time. I was like, this is weird. I never like enjoyed it, I guess. That's probably more accurate to say. I didn't cheat on you.

Exactly.

Yeah, exactly. I was reluctantly having sex with this model. I didn't want this. But yeah, I don't know. You don't get uncomfortable lying. You say a lie and you feel like, ugh. And then it just ruminates in your head forever. And then you're like, I should call my friends in high school and be like, hey man, that actually wasn't true. No.

I'm like, I got this call, Charlamagne.

Like I'll do that sometimes and then I regret doing it almost every time. It's like I'll just lie to keep the combo going. People will be like, oh, have you seen this movie? And I'll be like, yeah. And then they'll talk about it at length with me and I'm like faking the combo. And then an hour later I'll call and be like, by the way, I never saw that movie. I'm sorry that I even said that.

I thought you were going to go somewhere else and I just said yes and then I regret it. And I wish I could have just been like, no, I haven't seen it. Tell me about it. And it would have made life so much easier. But instead I was like, yeah, I've seen it. Sure. Whatever makes this move faster.

You're right. You're right. I won't cross that. Yeah. But omission. I'll do that sometimes.

Shockingly works out. This was like a year ago. But there was a spot. It was super far away. It was like a show I didn't want to do. Yeah. And it was super late and it was cold. And I was like, I don't feel like doing this. And the dude was like, hey, man, you're going to be here in like an hour or something. I was like... My bike broke. No, I can't say that. I was like, I got, I slipped. Nah.

I was like thinking of all these justifications. I just hit him. I was like, Hey man, I'm just exhausted. I just can't. And he goes, yeah, no, it's totally fine.

Bro. At one point, five of us were standing up on the pole singing Hamilton.

They didn't know what to do. They didn't know what to do. How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore, and a Scotsman drop in the middle of the fucking... It was like 30 minutes of this. And they were just sitting there like, do we leave? Like, are we getting paid?

Bro, that's so embarrassing. And then I was DJing, and we got the vibe back. I was playing just regular rap music, and the vibe was sick. And then 10 minutes in, I just went right back to Hamilton, and one of the girls just left.

You hit that, by the way. Thank you, dude.

But isn't it so much better to tell the truth and then it's fine? And if you don't want to tell the truth, then maybe what you're doing you shouldn't do. So you just stay in front of it and everything works out.

Can I have a mission? But you could just be like, hey, I'm super exhausted right now. Can I call you back tomorrow? That's a lie. Wait, why?

Why not? Don't pick up the phone.

I mean, just any time I'm coming home. Yo. And it's so dumb because I do it every time. Yeah. She goes, hey, what time are you coming home? And then I know she wants me to be home at like 7. So I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'll be home at like, you know, 6, 45, 7. And then I walk in the door at 8.30. And she goes, where were you? And I was like, I just lied to you.

And she goes, well, why didn't you tell me the truth? I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted to know what time you were going to be home. And I go, I like to lie. I don't know. I'm a liar. I couldn't help it. I don't trust you with the truth that I'm having fun for a little bit longer without you. Every time. And I just do it and she goes, I genuinely don't care what time you're going to be home.

Just tell me the actual time.

Yeah. You do it enough to where my girl just knows what my translation is. So now she doesn't even ask. Oh, really? Because now I'll just be like, hey, I'm going to go do this. I'll be back in like 30 minutes. And she's like, okay. Like, she doesn't even follow up because she's just like, all right, that'll be two hours. And that's fine.

But, yeah, that's my go-to. I got to get better at that. Just being just more like, hey, this is what I'm actually doing. I don't know.

That is what I felt in my soul. Just fucking say that next time. That's what I did to David and how he got his bike stolen. Yeah, that's true.

It's his favorite thing. And so me and him were going to go to the gym yesterday. And I said, hey, let's meet at this coffee shop. Grab a coffee and then go to the gym. Yeah. So we go to the coffee shop. We're sitting there. 10, 15 minutes. Miles comes by. He's hanging out. I'm there with my baby. Baby's hanging out. At least he's going to come get the baby and go take him.

And then we're going to go to the gym. And David walks out. And his bike's gone. Fully stolen. And has a full meltdown. Calls the police.

Cops show up. He gave a description and he was like, Brown, probably migrant, probably migrant.

He was in direct eyeline 20 feet away.

He's right here. The bike is locked up right here with the tiniest lock ever. Dude has a bolt cutter. snatches it, pulls it off the thing. All right.

Nice. He deserves it, honestly. Yeah. You want to know the funniest part? This is probably the funniest part of the whole thing.

This guy has a fucking motor. While this guy is stealing it, that's my wife and child. Walking right on by.

She saw the guy going up road holding a bike on the side. She's like, yeah, I guess his friend lost his bike and crashed or something. Who knows? Isn't that so wacky? He's holding his friend's bike while he goes and gets coffee. Exactly. I told Lisa, I was like, yeah, David's bike got stolen. She's like, oh, that's crazy. Unrelated. I saw a guy stealing a bike. I did not connect it at all.

Situational awareness on 10. Just knows exactly what's going on. Jesus, man. Yeah. It's 10 a.m. on a Monday. That's crazy. And that all happened because I wasn't honest with the time. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Because I said I got there later. We spent more time at the coffee shop than I had said. Or if I just was honest, he never would have got his bike stolen.

Yeah. Yeah. But then you wouldn't have gotten your justice. What's my justice? Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.

Yo, is this shit done? Yeah. I mean, they're basically going back and forth. Like, should we ban it? Should we not? And it seems like Trump is kind of into keeping it.

But I guess the difference is that if someone is using a loophole to exploit that versus the fundamental back end being owned by another country. Like, is it an easier pipeline to then push a cultural agenda? I think there's no question that that is the truth.

Yeah.

And then after this fire, does that not mean that there won't be another fire for a while? Like if this is basically a controlled burn that took down all like the brush and shit, does that buy 10 years? That's a good question. If this is like the worst fire that's ever happened. I feel like brush grows like that. Yeah. How fast is brush that? What's brush? It's brush. It's brush.

That's a lot. If Trump's able to save it, like, does it make Trump look good?

He's like, we got like 36 billion views last quarter. Like, why do we got to get rid of these people?

I think this happens on such a small scale. You're just an individual seller in some foreign national saying, hey, here's cash for your house.

It's like dry brush.

Yeah. It's interesting with the Greenland thing, too. Like, Trump trying to get Greenland and, like, pushing hard to get it.

Why does Trump want it? Minerals? Seems like there's a couple different things from just what I've read. It seems like Greenland is obviously covered in ice and the glaciers are melting on Greenland. So as a result, there's going to be huge mineral deposits and potentially even oil underneath the ground that's now going to be able to be accessed.

Some people speculated that Elon is actually a big proponent of getting Greenland in order to get precious materials for some of the stuff he's developing and getting minerals and things like that.

And then obviously the oil interest and then there's also trade routes that are now gonna be like more opened up that like Russia has more access to And it benefits Russia like have these trade routes So if the United States can put bases there and control the trade routes It gives them a lot more leverage globally and then thirdly like if Trump is able to get more land Does that look good for him individually as a president to be like hey?

Well... With the boys. It depends, though. Because Danes, I feel like, are probably like... Like, if they're living there, if they're, like, culturally Danish, you know what I mean? But they're culturally Greenlandish. Yeah, but I imagine that they're... Influenced by Danish culture. And that they're like, we're Danish. I feel like I've met Danes that are very much not into the American vibe.

I don't know if they fit with us.

See how much better it is on this side. Shut the fuck up. Don't get me wrong. We got to put some Americans over there. We got to send the boys to go, you know, colonize. Give them more black people and see how fun it is.

That's it.

You're welcome. That should be the deal. Hey, you guys can be America and you also get free flights to Miami twice a year. Fuck free. Twice a year? We're trying to get Greenland.

You can visit me in Greenland.

What about Puerto Rico? Did you guys like it? Puerto Rico's incredible. When you guys became America, were Puerto Ricans stoked about that?

We're going to create a pathway to citizenship for these Greenlandish people. Yeah, you have to move to Queens. Okay, get a flag. Wave it all the time. Play music loud. Have a festival or a parade. And you can be American. This is a no-brainer.

These NPR chicks? You really think these... These Danettes...

That's how it's supposed to go.

You'd be the greatest, like if you were back in the olden days, like British Empire, like colonizing and shit. What was that guy? Kissinger.

I think we just give Greenland a basketball team, bring them into the fold, and call it a day.

Yeah, he's got a big one. I mean, is that guy? That guy born and raised? Nah, no way. That's a Dane for sure. Yeah. A hockey team? I mean, they look like a sick-ass hockey team. I'm just saying Greenland might be a good play. I like them. Yo, Greenland, we love you.

you know i think we put them on like a you know 100 year lease see how it goes and after 100 if it doesn't work out for each other then boom it's like hong kong or whatever yeah i like that scenario what do you think of trump changing all the names and stuff gulf of america he changed mount mckinley or mount uh denali to mount mckinley whatever i like it why can't we decide the names of our shit

What the fuck are you talking about? I can't believe they gave it up.

Done. Except for when she interrupts you.

Yeah, there's got to be. Yeah, there must be a side room. Logistically, this is a nightmare. If I have to get it done in a minute, I can get it done.

No, no, we can get it out.

that's that's foul how you yeah take the record from your friend yeah what's that pussy look like afterwards yeah was it all the sand it had to be vagina i mean maybe she was sucking some of them like is that but that shouldn't count yeah no i don't think that counts ash should count though no ash should count for two to be honest all right so what do you guys think about that

That's kind of sick. But I mean, if sex means nothing, then why is this different than a hot dog eating contest?

Yeah, and just putting food in your mouth contest. You know what I mean? It's like, if it's just an act that people do that doesn't have any type of social bearing and doesn't really matter who you do it with, then... Fucking liberal cuckoo.

I understand his point. If culturally we view sex just like, yeah, who gives a fuck, do it with whoever, then why are people defying it?

Yeah. Two guys. It was a crazy night. Two guys. I'm out. Connor, you're done. I'm out. I mean, you know our answer.

We guys are right. It's a crazy guy we dated for four years.

Meaning, like, I can't fuck you while I'm fucking somebody else. But now you're talking about DP. If the girl's having sex with two guys, she's only having sex with one guy at a time. Yeah, that's even worse. That's crazy what you just said.

Guys can only have sex with one girl at one time. Girls can only have sex with one guy.

Over 24 hours. That's like two an hour. That's nothing.

Yeah.

Yeah, man. Do you think she took a break? Like, was she in the corner, like, getting Vaseline on her eyebrows at any point? Let me tell you. Let me tell you. Like a boxer.

A lot more volunteer firefighters if that happens. Exactly. Hose it down. That'd be fire. You could have helped a lot of people. This is a DEI I can get behind.

Gives you a weird feeling.

What do you stand for? She broke her record. She became number one. That is true.

We don't know. We got to see the guys.

Yeah. Yeah, I think men are drawn to the scope, right? It's ultra purity and chastity while still being seductive and teasing. And then the other side is full degradation. And I think that that is like splitting the male psyche.

Certainly. I imagine that that is a part of it. I mean, I think that's kind of a part of like most porn, to be honest with you. It's like there is like a degraded element where like seeing beautiful woman be degraded is validating for them. And so I think that is taking it to like its like farthest logical conclusion.

I feel it intellectually. I'm less, like, disturbed, I think. Probably the same integral level that you are. Fair enough.

They could add that. That should be part of the metric. If you've got a 12-incher, that's two at least.

How many inches of dick do you think she took down? Right? If it's like, what, two and a half average?

Yeah. What did Roger Ebert say?

Yeah. I'm impressed with this bitch. Human beings are capable of so much. Yeah, it's crazy. It's just like a triumph of just the human spirit. It really is. Yeah. I mean, it's just remarkable. How do we use her? I think we did.

Like militarily or something?

Yeah, maybe put her on the front line somewhere.

It's like, hey, what did you learn from the Taliban? They're like, I sucked off a bunch of them. And you're like, did you get the main guy? She's like, no, I was sucking off the other guy. No, but they canceled all their terrorism plans. They're pretty relaxed right now. I'm pretty sure that's been used as a warfare tactic. I'm pretty sure the U.S. did that. I forget where.

We're also so desensitized. Just in general. You just see wars everywhere and then you see someone lost a house and you're like, well, it's not as bad as the thing I saw two weeks ago.

And then we wonder why wives don't do it. We can't perpetuate this.

Like, I just kissed the side of it. You could teach a course, make another 20 mil. Yeah, that's a good point. Also, is sucking dick for 20 million even gay? I don't even know if it's gay. No. That's some gay shit to say, though. It's not gay.

No, but as a child, would you see it swinging around in the house? Never in the house, but I do have a memory of showering, and I think it was that memory. My dad was like, all right, we're done. We would shower together, and I'd go in a towel, and I'd sit on the side when I was done showering, and then he would finish. And I have one memory of that.

And I think that was the exact age my dad was like, all right, you're four years old. We can't do this. Wait, why? Because once your kid makes memories, you can't be showering with them. Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Was he washing you up? Yeah, because I didn't wash my hair in my ears. So he would wash you up?

I don't think you can afford it, bro. That shit is expensive, dude.

That's a natural thing. That's way weirder, bro. That's two parents fucking. That's what we all hope for. My dad would rock that shit.

It got us into it.

So...

But he was great.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on.

I was like, how'd he do it? No, I didn't.

Yo, MJ's a legend, right?

You know, that was the best moment ever. Mark got a video.

She was cutting her promo, and she was just leaning into that accent.

Paul fucking turned it to Tiger Woods.

He didn't even ask a question. He said, Miles, your memory's bad. Miles goes, yes, daddy.

He's like that thing from Fantastic Beasts.

Wow. I mean, he's... All right, continue.

Is that what you want to hear? Like, you guys are both talking about your fucking... He's lying.

God damn.

You ain't doing that to Logan, though.

Yo. The fuck is con? What do you mean by that? Hold on. You might be back. The fuck is con? Look at Brandon's face up there. Brandon is disgusted. Brandon is disgusted. What the hell?

How did both downplay it? He's like, I'm going to kiss you. Beth, come through. Now they're both mad about it.

No.

That's true. It's just a fun little game. We'll blur it. We'll blur it. No. Yeah. Can we do the thing that happened in the movie? Put Miles in a wig.

He's not insecure about So that wouldn't be something that would make you feel comfortable at all.

nobody in the history of wrestling has done less to get on those platforms so you look at it he was like fuck it I'm gonna go I wasn't gonna do it and AJ was like yo go do it go jump up there and I was like I ain't gonna ever get this opportunity again

Just a peck! A peck! Right into the blue chouette. We do a peck.

Exactly. This is Weinstein's hotel right here. Facts. We're going to make this stop.

I was like, he's going to pull something when he jumps down.

First of all, you have this big-ass mustache that hides the fact you don't got a lip. I'm peeing game. If you don't have a top lip, you got to get some coverage.

Actually, I don't even know if my mom got a bottom lip, man.

It's just jaw on jaw. Clamp, clamp. She's a herbivore, mom. Damn, Larry. Shout out Larry Legend for that one, right?

Seriously?

Come on.

1.

Why is every school story so fucking traumatizing about you, bro? Did this not happen with you guys?

You know how many dudes coming up to me on the street like, yo, I got the same problem.

It's a deviated septum.

This is the beauty of headlines, bro.

Trump is like, stop it.

The Jews!

No.

Y'all got to check that motherfucker out, bro.

He's not scared.

Smite this man. Come on, now.

No, this is chicken bone broth right here, dude. This is cock bone broth.

And you're going to shoot it right into your mouth in a bad handspring.

100%.

The fuck?

Can't let him have it all, man. Come on.

You need to go. No one told me what to do in that moment.

Yeah. And then AJ slaps you. You stand up. You're like, yeah. That's my deep breath. You're not injured anymore? Not at all. He gave me the energy I needed. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I gotta check my calendar. Wait, wait, we bought the tickets for it.

1.5?

It's crazy.

That's a double peg zin, bro.

You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

God damn.

For sure gay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What the fuck?

Maybe I'm horny, bro.

You could have just laughed at him. Why are you doing this?

Yeah.

Let's go, Miles.

Yeah.

Send that.

Why would you even ask a question like that? Why would you even ask a question like that?

I see that, sir.

You could just be bragging.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

It's obviously Mark.

With all due respect.

With all due respect right there, that was fucking nuts. That was crazy.

I don't even know what I did right there.

So you felt that and you just... Yeah.

Come on, bro.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Yeah, but his wife and kid are right there.

Goddamn. Son.

He didn't even touch Texas, man.

Or you could just listen to Breaking Points. Okay, well.

Dude, they've been doing this nonstop, okay? My grandmother survived World War II.

Barely survived. She was in a bunker.

Actually, I don't think it's going to hold, man.

By creating a financial alignment, I feel like he loses even more leverage. Like by creating an ideological position. You're exactly right. It gives him more of a position.

In my mind, like if you're just purely financial, then Russia could now broker a deal and be like, hey, if we can.

They said that.

They actually have a lot more. So by making it purely financial, now Russia could just come in and be like, hey, it's a race to the bottom. We'll just beat them on price.

And you know what we would say? Yeah.

Zelensky knows it's a race to the bottom. So then now he has to say it's ideological. We have to protect democracy. Double click everybody on that one.

There you go. That guy looks American. He looks great. That's a Greenlander.

You're like a polymast, you know? Yes, I'm that. You and Charlemagne are kind of breaking points. You know

Yeah. Wow. I'm losing thousands of dollars every month because my wife is buying stuff.

Bipoc is an acrimonious of black people.

What do you got? He's too radical. There it is. Google Waller. Google Waller.

And Jordan's gambling issue. I feel like the only issue is that he didn't do steak.

Oh, you almost got me. You almost got me. Almost got me. He was nodding his head.

The fact you said no chance makes me think he has a chance.

Gaza's gotten woke. Maybe that's why they cover them up.

Eggs are a dollar. But you're touching the class problem. And I think part of the self-loathing is the social problem that they've been addressing for the last 10 years. Right.

I think the internal self-loathing we're talking about from the left comes from this idea of, oh, we're elitist, so we need to bring ourselves down and we need to ingratiate ourselves with the disenfranchised, the trans, the BIPOCs, all that stuff, when the real problem underlying all of it is the class issue that eggs are too expensive and that there's no affordable housing.

That makes sense.

I think that's proof of the point. And Stephen A says rent is too damn high and also has some fucking policy and is able to sell it. And eggs, we're going to make them a dollar. I love that bill at the wall point.

He was never in squig game. Yeah, I don't think so.

Oh, that was Andrew. That was Andrew.

The black guy, right? Wait, what are you talking? Dinkins?

What is his name? David Patterson? David Patterson.

Do your research.

That was the governor of New York. No, he's Stevie Wonder blind. He's faking it. When was this? Yeah, I remember this. When was his term?

The quote is, intelligence told me to let it go. That's right. They said, let it go.

False flagging.

Yeah. So get people to think.

Well, people say that the term conspiracy theorist is.

You're exactly right. It was created as a psyop.

Thank you.

You'll find me someday. What's up, guys? World's fastest ad read. Rochester, New York, March 26th, April 27th, Portland, Maine. I'll be there with Joey Avery. That's Portland, Maine, not Oregon. I'll see you guys there. Let's get back to the show. Thank you all so much. Bye.

All right, all right. You win. You win.

It's on 2nd.

What do they call it, kawaii? I think that's the term that they use for cute. Everything's kawaii.

You see that comment on Twitter all the time, where it's like, Gulf of America. And then the first comment will just be like, are eggs cheaper now? They don't have a thousand. That's right.

Yeah, 1500. That's what I'm saying. Renaissance.

Da Vinci's not Italian? Leonardo da Vinci?

You can bang or suck his dick.

NewYorkDagnon.com. Find places to suck his

Happy birthday, Al.

On Al's 32nd birthday, we're going to bring this shit up. You're healthy. That's pretty good. Yeah.

That's the most expensive gift. It's the most expensive gift. It's millions of dollars.

We love you. This is a podcast. We love you.

And...

Yeah, because he got it from a blood transfusion, dog.

After like an hour?

That's great.

What?

Mistake number one. Mistake number one.

Dr. Umar when you need him. Dr. Kumar is here. Mistake number one.

He's got my property now.

No aggression whatsoever. Very comfortable.

Damn. How do you say you got him flattered as an adult? You're looking back. I mean, he was the same. Y'all had it like that.

I'm looking for Jonathan Mason.

That's crazier than what I said, because he's like, that's not a joke. You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? I don't know.

Al thought he was an organ donor and they took it off his license. No, no, no.

that piece why am i supposed to know this i'm just supposed to you just i mean she's a beautiful woman but i don't know okay can we like a man stomped the yard friday she's in friday you're not true to be an indian bro

Can we look up how old he is, Joy? So then maybe it is lying.

I don't think it's true. I don't think you're a donor either.

I ain't choking my wife and she got more attitude than this bitch, I promise.

I said I ain't choking my wife. And she got more attitude than this girl, I promise. That's because she will fuck you up.

Hey, wild guess here.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get it. You have a black friend.

It's like Kismet. You know what I mean? God shows this episode right after we find out about Miles and David.

It was just some regular shit. You just kidnapped cubs.

That was the take away. And the black people kept getting sick and they're like, we're trying to give you medicine. And it was just more syphilis.

Happy ending.

Oh, man, this girl is awesome.

So Claire passed away on Christmas day, 2011. So I had just started at the company. I just met her. I remember being in the studio with her one night when I was like closing it down and just like learning about her and talk to her. She was so chill. So, so sweet, young, kind of like had like a tortured vibe.

I think she had like pink hair. I do remember riding the train with her downtown and just after a very busy day being like, this place is fucking insane. And she was like, it is fucking insane, but isn't it fun? And I was like, it is fun. And I was like really kind of looking forward to like getting to know her. And this was like right before Christmas. And then she died on Christmas day.

So I remember having to do like a lot of the tasks and like help run the studio during that time because everybody was super close in the beginning because it was such a small company.

So I was invited to the breakdown of 72nd Street. They had their last ride. There was drinks. Everybody was like writing on the walls and like marker and all the like original crazies, not crazies. And I say that in love, like all the Upper West Side, like crazies who are obsessed with SoulCycle from the beginning. They were all there and it was kind of like a goodbye party to the studio.

I do think they were breaking the wall down, but I can't remember because it was literally so overwhelming.

After the 72nd Street, like, teardown, like, an ending party, I officially started at the 77th Street Studio, which was the official, like, big girl SoulCycle, box within a box, like, mantra wall, all that stuff. It was what you see SoulCycle as today, and they were all masters at branding.

For me personally, my biggest lesson at SoulCycle is that's where I learned how to run a business. I worked in so many different departments. I ran a studio. I started from the bottom, started from the bottom, now I'm here. I worked at a front desk. I was a manager. I worked in the corporate office. I worked in multiple different roles in the corporate office. I was there for almost eight years.

And when I left there, like I literally knew how to run a business. It did feel like a lot of times we were like playing business in the beginning. I feel like I got an MBA.

I was kind of transitioning out of my acting career. I was a part of the Broadway community, and when I wasn't doing shows, I was managing a restaurant on the Upper West Side called Alice's Tea Cup. And as most soul people know, the original SoulCycle was on 72nd Street between Amsterdam and Columbus, and Alice's Tea Cup was on 73rd Street between Amsterdam and Columbus.

I think they had like a little plaque on the wall that said like SoulCycle, but it looked like you were walking into like a dentist's office. It was like a regular, like, you know, when you're in New York City, when you go into a building, you walk down 50 feet and then you make a sharp left and then you make another sharp right. I'm like, where the fuck is this place?

Then all of a sudden you go through a door and you're in this like makeshift office. cycling studio and I was like where and how is this happening and then so you walk in and there's a desk and there's like a little space and then there's like these glass doors and then behind the glass doors is the class

So like it was loud when the class was going on, like you can't talk or do anything because you can't hear anything. There was no like soundproofing. It clearly is not a space made for working out and especially loud workouts like SoulCycle.

Have you watched the Blues Brothers cartoon that's eight minutes long?

Have you seen the backwards flip?

Yeah.

That's a picture of it.

I remember the first time I saw it. I fell over.

I mean, like, are those people billionaires? If they can buy 150 Dodge police cars only to crash them?

All right.

Are those Nazis real Nazis?

Are those Nazis real Nazis?

Oh.

Pause! Pause! Do they actually... Are the people okay in the cars when they crash? Are the people in there real people who are...

Wait! Pause, pause, pause! This is where I had the question, how do they film that part?

Are those Nazis real Nazis?

But like the question I have for that part, like are they okay once the car lands? Because you don't see it after it lands.

But how do they get out?

I have a friend. Her and her dad were driving in their old Subaru Outback and they were at an intersection and they stopped. There was a Kia Soul coming. There was a lady, a 95-year-old lady, in the car asleep at the wheel.

And she rammed them into a tree.

Yeah, because my friend was strapped tightly into the back seat.

What?

I don't have a job.

Better. It's good to know how they do that so you know that none of the people are just random people who have a chance of dying in the film or something. So that's the reason it's good to know.

Miles.

Probably will.

Wait, you drove the bus in Harry Potter?

I do car chases with my, like, seven and eight cars.

Hey, Theo Von. My name is Miles. I have a brother.

That acts really gay. How do I ask him if he's gay without pissing him off? Thank you, bro.

What was that?

Reindeer.

All the way!