Mo Rocca

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Every great movement begins with an individual act of defiance. Moses stood up to the Egyptians. Gandhi stared down the British. Mo Rocca met a man in Syracuse, New York, facing the mightiest foe of them all.

Let me ask you this, Mo. The time that you spent in the field, can you now tell men what to look for in a good pair of panties? Oh, absolutely, John.

Well, do you have an example of that to show us, or is there someone? Oh, well, sure, here. Oh, okay, yeah.

I know, I understand, yes, they're underneath. Very good. Mo Rock, everybody!

Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, but Brendan Fay wants to ruin everyone's good time.

But you're gay. Your parade is in the summer. Well, I'm Irish and gay. But that's impossible, according to Reverend Lou Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition.

And he wants to protect the heterosexual march that is the St. Patrick's Day parade.

The Reverend has valid reason for concern.

These gay antics could ruin the St. Patrick's Day parade. Describe for me the St. Patrick's Day parade.

How can you be trusted not to turn the St. Patrick's Day parade gay? I mean, look what you did to the gay pride parade. Well, it is a gay parade. Yeah, after you people got hold of it. When it comes to the parade controversy, Reverend Sheldon has science on his side.

So your research has shown that leprechauns are heterosexual.

A leprechaun is defined as a tiny prancing cobbler with a penchant for gold. Where's the gay in that? I don't see any. The prancing part. Is that a little bit gay?

But what does mean something is protecting his heritage. As an Irish Catholic, you feel offended. I'm a Presbyterian. So, as an Irish Presbyterian, you feel offended.

So as an English Presbyterian Orthodox Jew, you feel very protective of the St. Patrick's Day parade. That's right. The point is, a fake conspiracy is afoot. Today, the Irish parade. Tomorrow, the Irish.

Rosie O'Donnell has a huge crush on Tom Cruise. Those gays are unstoppable. If they got Rosie, no one is safe. They might even get the Lord of the Dance.

Not really, John. Let's face it. A parade is inherently gay. I mean, think about it. A crowd of singers and a gaggle of dancers perched atop floats, brightly painted paper mache.

Oh, John, come on. Uniforms, boots, chaps. It's even gayer. Chaps? What branch of the military wears chaps? Well, the cavalry, John. Mounted privates. I mean, how gay do you want it?

If you want to be elected governor of New Jersey, it's not enough to visit the state's diners. It's got the most of any state. It's not enough to eat the state's tomatoes. It produces the best in the nation. It's not enough to throw those tomatoes across the Hudson at Manhattan. You've got to pay homage to the ultimate political boss, the boss himself, Bruce Springsteen.

And so Democrat Josh Gottheimer proudly posted his Spotify rap list of his top songs for the year, all from Bruce, Thunder Road, Badlands, Rosalita. But now that Spotify rap list is part of his own political rap sheet, since it turns out he totally faked it. That's right. Oh, his pants are on fire. His real list does include the boss, but also Billy Joel.

Yikes, the guy who sang New York State of Mind. But Gottheimer isn't just any politician. When he was called out, he admitted the list was fake and blamed his two young children, who share his Spotify account for skewing the results. A true profile in courage. P.S., his dog's name is Rosalita, but she's actually a Bon Jovi fan.

What a prophecy.

And also, you know, when Justice Breyer was here, he sang from The Music Man.

And we were in a terrific, I mean, I'm telling you, a terrific production.

Of Little Shop of Horrors.

And it was so much fun.

And you were great.

Hi, Mo.

I was really good. Okay, bye. But it was my birthright as a nerd to play Seymour.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm feeling insecure right now. I feel like I'm getting already eclipsed.

One of those boring ones.

So now that they've warned, this insurance company has warned people about this, then they will deny all claims.

Was your grandmother... just run-of-the-mill mean, or was she wicked?

This sounds worse than a destination wedding.

I would do it if instead of handing out glasses of water, they were giving heavy hors d'oeuvres along the way.

Remember the Venus fly trap? Yes. I could order one by mail, and I was so excited to get a Venus fly trap. I think it was from Ronco, and I kept catching house flies. Did you really? I really did, and it was kind of great, because you put a fly in there, and then it would react, but I just choked that thing. I just kept putting so many flies.

Yes, I did. I mean, the last sound I heard was just crying, like, stop it, I can't...

Also, it's not a real six-pack. Ooh, the body! Really? No! I think it's photoshopped. It's not real. Mo Rocca.

100 elite... I mean, fighters would just be too obvious, so... Clowns. 100 elite goats... Wow. They were the GOAT, the greatest of all time GOATs.

You know, I'm going to say it's the University of North Carolina.

Do you want me to show you right now?

It was interrupted by the lighting of the Christmas tree.

Can I say, you really can't complain about health care if you're eating at McDonald's all the time. That's true. You brought on these problems yourself.

And Mo Rocca. Instead of an actual present, just a picture of one. Gift giving.

So do they get insurance now? Because the rates must be crazy for Survivor.

She should have put the gun in her shoe. Clown college. Exactly. Big shoes.