Molly

Yeah. I mean, I have had a lot of distance and time for healing. And so I think looking back and seeing the journey was important to me and trying to weave that through just because anyone that leaves abuse, it can be chaotic, especially at first. There's just a lot of upheaval. And people think leaving is... It. That's it. And it's just the start. It's the first step.

And there's so much that comes after that. So I just really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to just that journey that is leaving and how much that becomes its own story, really.

There was just so much upheaval. I mean, when I left, legitimately, I had a trip planned. It's a yearly trip I do with my college girlfriends. And he had been threatening me and saying I wasn't going to go. He had hid my suitcase. He'd taken my phone. I didn't know if I was going.

So that night before when I literally slept 45 minutes and I had a three hour drive to the airport and he was going to drive us. I didn't know if it was happening. So he woke me up. I took a shower. We drove to the airport. I was in shock, honestly, that we were leaving. I had a nine-day carry-on. I had packed for me and a baby for nine days going to Florida. This was not me leaving.

This was not me packing up my life, taking any documents I needed, anything important. It was just some clothes for nine days. And we never went back. Not one time. So I guess the storm was really just... Each step was unplanned. I went to LA. I was supposed to be there for a birthday, for my daughter's first birthday. Stayed for two months.

And it just kept being things like that where I had a plan. And then everything else happened around me. You know, I had a place to live in Texas. That fell through. My dad got diagnosed with cancer. That seemed the next logical step. Go be with family. And then go back to your hometown. Figure out next steps. And so each time it was a storm. But storms can kind of be peaceful.

And ironically, now I listen to a thunderstorm to sleep. So it's actually calming to the system. And when I look back, they all had such purpose. How did it feel for you putting this down on paper and then reading it out loud? I mean, the process was fairly seamless, I would say, just because... I've thought of it so often since and I've, you know, I've journaled and I've done things like that.

It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as an essay or anything like that. But I think it's always a little bit therapeutic to take ownership of it. And I kind of describe it to other people differently. As it almost happened to someone else because I'm now someone else.

So when I look back, it's almost it's not disassociation, but it's not emotional as far as like I'm not I'm not emotionally affected by telling it. I'm empowered by telling it because I remember what I've gone through and who I am now. And I don't remember that girl that left because she was just such a different version of me. But I was not fully destroyed.

And that's something I hope people remember is even if it's, you know, day one, you just left yesterday, you will become something else. I promise.

The willow tree bends, but it does not break. It weathers storms by swaying with the wind, its roots gripping the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I had that kind of strength until the night I left, with my seven and a half month old baby in my arms and a carry-on suitcase packed for a nine day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a short while, but life had other plans.

Then again, when I got married, I didn't think I'd have to flee from him in fear for my safety and that of my child. Over the next year, I would cross eight states, learning to bend, adapt, and survive with nothing but determination, hope, and my baby. The breaking point, the night I knew I had to leave. The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do.

Before marriage, I'd noticed differences in how he handled stress, how quickly he became worked up, but I convinced myself it was manageable. Then, within months of being married, he became someone else. The man who had once written me cards each month and planned thoughtful dates now picked fights over the smallest things. How I ate my apples, whether I let my coffee get cold.

Things that shouldn't have mattered to anyone but somehow mattered enough to him to start an argument. I was exhausted, constantly trying to recapture the person I had married. When I got pregnant, the shift was undeniable. The first time he left bruises on my arms, it was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when ordered to, and a voice that sent chills down my spine.

It wasn't a request, it was a demand. And when I refused, his grip tightened. That was the first time, but it wasn't the last. The final night was the worst of my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep. He berated me for hours, his voice drilling into my skull, his words cutting deeper than the bruises he left behind.

Bruises on my arms, my legs, knuckle prints on my rib cage, a giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I don't remember how many times he hit me, but I do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been holding our baby when he put her down just so he could slap me. I watched, helpless, as she fell off the bed. That was it.

That was the moment I knew there was no more trying, no more hoping he would change. The only thing that mattered now was getting out. Storm 1. California. Carrying the weight. California was supposed to be a temporary stop. I worked 40-hour weeks with my baby strapped to my chest, sharing a room with my sister, her two dogs, and the whirlwind of uncertainty that had become my life.

The stress of filing for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless, but somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed, we played, we made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality. Adaptation wasn't a choice, it was survival. The wounds were fresh, but laughter made me remember who I was, before.

Roots That Travel, The Tree Tattoo In the midst of all the moving, from state to state, carrying only what I could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion, never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled. The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth. Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me.

That's why, during my time in California, I got the tree tattoo. A tree with strong roots, but at the same time, empty, barren leaves. It was a reminder that no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost. I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me, even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward wholeness. Storm 2. Texas. The In-Between.

In Texas, I lived in three different places, the last being with a family I'd never met before we moved in. I was able to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom to fill our days with park visits, time with my friends who lived in the area, and begin to think and maybe even dream a little about the future. The divorce was final in June.

As I hung up the phone with my lawyer, I wiped my tears and high-fived the baby in the high chair and said, We've got this, girly. We're going to be okay. Better than okay. I had begun counseling and went twice a week in Texas, learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags I missed, discovering myself again. Storm three, Mississippi, an unplanned gift.

Texas had been my plan as I just wanted to stay put for a little while. But when my housing fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out to be exactly where I needed to be.

My father had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and being there meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother, and have a stable place with my baby. But the greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly, she and my baby got to know each other, not just in passing visits, but in the quiet everyday moments that make up a life.

We went to library story time together, made meals side by side, and at night after the baby was asleep, we shared bowls of coffee ice cream, talking in the kind of unhurried way that only happens when you live under the same roof. Storm 4, Indiana. My hometown was a wonderful place to grow up, but I never imagined living there as an adult. Life is funny that way.

For eight months, we shared a two-bedroom apartment with my mom, planning our next steps, maybe even a place to stay for good. The three of us became a team. And my mother, I finally found the space to thrive in motherhood. He had made that impossible, but she had always modeled love and support. Now for the first time, I had the chance to parent with someone, not alone.

I found a support group to attend each Wednesday. There, I found perspective and growth and started to realize how much stronger I was than when I first went to counseling, fresh from the abuse, numb and damaged by all that I'd experienced. I was starting to trust myself again. I started to believe people were still good and loving and kind in the world.

I remembered I was loved just as I was and that I was enough just for being me. In Indiana, I was able to even participate in a fundraising event for the local women's shelter, telling my story before a 5K. Voicing for the first time that going through abuse doesn't make you weak, and that healing from abuse is true strength. The end of the bend. North Carolina.

North Carolina became more than just another stop. It became home. After years of bending with the storms, I had finally found solid ground. To mark the journey, I went to a new tattoo artist to complete what had begun in California. The tree on my skin, once bare, now had green leaves.

As the ink settled, I felt the weight of the past few years, the fear, the exhaustion, the moments I thought I wouldn't make it. But I had. I had not only survived, I had grown. And life kept growing with me. In time, I fell in love again, love that was steady and safe. I built a new life, a family, and welcomed another baby.

Proof that healing isn't just moving on from pain, but making room for joy. The fear never fully disappeared. He tried to find us while I was pregnant with my second daughter, but he did not win. We are safe. We are free. We are strong. Now I give back, offering the kind of support I once needed. I share my story so others know they aren't alone. Healing is not a straight path.

We never return to who we were before the storm. But like the willow, we can root ourselves in resilience, bend without breaking, and, when the time is right, grow fresh leaves once more.

That's crazy.

I actually loved that part of this because just so you know, when Molly and I would discuss her lovers, we gave them names like, you know, Sock on Wiener Guy or Neighbor Guy.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I don't think that I was, oh, sorry. I don't think I was really conscious of that when it was happening in real life. Right. But now that she's gone, I'm like, oh my gosh, I really did love her in a way that I didn't think possible for a friendship. And so when you say that line in the show, that hits me every time.

like a final bit of letting go. So it's layered for me, but more than anything, I just feel so proud of her.

Right, right.

There is me again.

Now just kick me in the dick.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

We've got a special guest in the building. 90 million records sold.

Most unathletic, incredible athlete I've ever met.

And we love sharing what we've learned.

I'm Daniel. I'm a particle physicist, and I think our universe is absolutely extraordinary.

basically we're both nerds each tuesday and thursday we take an hour-long dive into some science topic learn all about our amazing and beautiful universe on daniel and kelly's extraordinary universe every tuesday and thursday on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts you're listening to an iheart podcast

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff. Grown Up Stuff.

Yes.

It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.

Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Black holes could be a consequence of the way that we understand the universe.

Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff, How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.

Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.

Most unathletic, incredible athlete I've ever met.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Most unathletic, incredible athlete I've ever met.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

100%.

100%.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

100%.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff, How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

Most unathletic, incredible athlete I've ever met.

Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Most unathletic, incredible athlete I've ever met.

like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.

Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff, How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.

get one takeaway side of fries, extra ketchup for our buddies over at Shake Shack?

36,000.

Every big moment starts with a big dream. But what happens when that big dream turns out to be a big flop? From Wondery and At Will Media, I'm Misha Brown, and this is The Big Flop. Every week, comedians join me to chronicle the biggest flubs, fails, and blunders of all time, like Quibi. It's kind of like when you give yourself your own nickname and you try to get other people to do it.

and the 2019 movie adaptation of Cats.

Find out what happens when massive hype turns into major fiasco. Enjoy The Big Flop on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Big Flop early and ad-free on Wondery+. Get started with your free trial at wondery.com slash plus.

Let's do it. Hi Mel, I'm 23 and feeling super burnt out by the dating process. Now that I'm out of school, it's not as easy to meet new guys and I hate going on first dates. I would much rather meet a guy organically. Do you have any advice of where I should go or what I should do to meet new people?

So, yeah, we're happy. Well, I've been a bit ill this week, so I wasn't sure whether I was actually going to do it. But I'm really proud that we've done it. It was quite good because the first K is a really big hill, but then you go downhill. So a lot of the first bit is nice and smooth. But, yeah, we're really happy with our run.

Yeah, it really does. It's just a good opportunity to push yourself. And you're not really thinking about anything apart from how your legs hurt or anything. But you're just pushing through and it's a really great feeling to come to the end of the race.

Yeah, really well, actually.

Puppy Mae.

The 10k.

Not very well. I have an attachment that goes in the front of my wheelchair which decided to malfunction half a mile behind the finish line. I had to take it off and do the rest of the race without it. So it clips onto the front of the wheelchair footplate.

I had a massive crack and then I knew something was up and I tried to get it back on and it just wouldn't clip back on so I had to give the wheel to one of the volunteers who ran to the finish line with me and I finished the race without it.

Yes, it's like a kind of sudden camber and it tipped the chair.

I'm all good.

Apart from that, it was good, yeah.

Just to take on the challenge again. I did it last year and I was hoping to beat my time.

Hopefully with a better wheel next time.

You look stupid, Shep. Come on, Shep.

i mean how does he know how could he how could he diminish her accomplishments i mean just because she's he he's not doing anything with his life so now he's got to diminish what she's doing with her life i mean she's doing a lot she's a beauty queen she's doing things she's like taking care of her grandma in the bahamas and how dare chef chef is the worst i hate chef yes taylor you've sold a lot of sodas with alcohol in them okay no one is diminishing you taylor i'll be your projector

And when they all got together for Pat's annual guys dinner.

Oh, basically Santa, because we never see her.

Bye.

I'm just going to celebrate every day that I'm not pregnant. So YOLO.

And Madison's like, I mean, I feel like we're going to go sit there and watch.

Should I send invitations? I mean, this actually sounds like the best episode of the year to me. This is really moving the needle for me to get out of Charleston.

Molly.

You better get your hair cut how I want to or the second you walk outside, that neighbor boy is going to bully you again like he did last time you got a stupid haircut. Wait, did I say that out loud? Damn it. Damn it.

Nice to work with your little tubonium or whatever it is you're playing over there.

And then we go to CHS, which is an indoor golf experience. Yes.

Coin-hating celebrity gibbons.

Okay.

Back it up, bitch. You better back it up. You better clip it.

So Madison's like, well, he's going to be the little bitch when I'm done with him. How about that?

We got a coffee for I'm gonna kill you, bitch. You better watch your motherfucking mouth or I'm gonna take you out.

Get the kinds. Get the kinds.

Can I get an old-fashioned, please? All right, let's all join hands and say a prayer for JT, because I'm going to fuck him up.