Monica

Well, that's when we started dating.

She said, can you figure out what his problem is, but don't tell him I asked.

And I said, well, if you have a problem with him or your communication issues,

Like you need to go to him directly.

I'm not, I don't do like the triangulation thing.

So it's just, that's not healthy.

And you would need to go to him directly.

Perfect.

And she's like, well, I just don't understand why you can't talk to him for me and just don't tell him that I asked you.

And I said, because I don't, I don't do that.

So great.

That's the no.

Yeah, no, he didn't.

So he, he, he agreed with me and said, yeah, that was, that was wrong.

Like, I don't know why she did that, but his pattern is avoiding confrontation with his parents.

And he, I kind of watched him,

as his nervous system shuts down and he kind of just goes into this blank space kind of thing.

And so back to your original thing about, he doesn't understand leave and cleave.

I think the resentment that I have is less about his mother and more about him because I feel a lack of emotional safety and protection.

Uh, when I feel like I'm left to, you know, defend myself because his mother,