Monica

coping mechanism is to just avoid and not answer and just become kind of like stoic.

That's a good point.

And for me, I think in the beginning when I would confront him and say, hey, like that was really hurtful or what the way your parents like treated us was wrong or it didn't feel right.

Can we talk about it?

He would get really defensive and say like, oh, they're just joking or you just don't like my family.

And

then we would get in an argument.

And now I think we listened to your show a lot and we've done couples counseling.

And so he's becoming more aware.

I'm becoming more aware of what I bring to the table.

And so recently we've had some good conversations, um, where he is less defensive and he's more, more so like, yeah, I avoid it because like the best way to win is to not even play the game.

So I do, I do see that there's wisdom in that.

And that's really what it boils down to, I think, because...

They live in another state.

So when it's just us two and we have a great group of friends, like I see him as that person that I want to marry.

And then when we communicate with his family, we start getting into this cycle of arguing and we're both triggered.

And so that's kind of.

So at this point, it's in my control to say no to the phone call.

Hmm.

Yeah.