Menu
Sign In Pricing Add Podcast

Ms. Marcus (audio clip)

Appearances

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1013.809

Okay, sure. Listen, she just admitted that she left her earrings at other places, like at least about five different times.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1027.941

She's going to leave her earrings. The next thing you know, she's going to leave her children.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1035.507

Honestly, a girl did that to me before. She left her kids here.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1039.551

Yeah. Yes, we did it because she wanted to come back the next day to see me.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1092.093

Would it be a chaperone?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1111.725

They're not even real diamonds, I bet you. Oh, come on.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

1126.419

Maybe that could be our date. We could all get together, and we could check to see if the diamonds are real. That's kind of romantic.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

483.051

Oh.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

694.947

Hello?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

699.43

Who's calling?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

747.728

Yeah, that was crazy. Crazy. That's what we heard.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

759.538

Yeah, I was messed up that night.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

777.25

Yeah, she tried to pull one of those Cinderella acts on me.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

810.926

Right, exactly. I don't have a diamond detector. I don't know if they're real diamonds or not. Nevertheless, I know she left them intentionally at my house. I know this.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

822.795

How do I know that? I can tell. It happened to me before.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

831.082

Listen, she can have her earrings back. I don't want them. What the heck do I need them for?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

836.886

The reason why I haven't texted her back is because I don't want her showing up at my house like she did the other day.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

852.749

That's my little younger brother. I gave him instructions on what to say, what to do when I'm not home. Who's playing games now?

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

863.692

Listen, she just popped over my house on some shady shit. Like, it was just, listen, you didn't even get the text messages.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

877.475

Yeah. Yes, and she would have gotten another date if she did not pull this stunt.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

959.811

Can you just give me my earrings back? I got you. I will give you your earrings back. But this is what I'll do. I'll send it to you. I need an address to send these earrings to you.

Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update

Second Date Update Classic: Dino Drunkfest

971.056

I'm not trying to show up at her house. No, I'm not trying to show up at her house either.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1004.55

Oh, you heard about that.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1010.434

What? No, I never even fired a gun. Okay, once, but it was in self-defense.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1177.703

It's the least we can do.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1267.457

Has your family always lived here?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1285.774

Well, it's very peaceful. I like it.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1329.189

It's not too late, is it?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1341.712

I wish I had an ounce of power. I would help show people your beautiful country. I mean, despite everything, I kind of love it here.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1379.142

Don't you knock?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1501.324

Damn, was that really necessary?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1513.85

Marcus inspects the plane. This thing is a death trap. I love it. You know, you really didn't have to do any of this.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1524.916

I think we'll take our chances on the death trap. Cute, by the way. In your dreams.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1578.982

Marcus, amigo, I find you at last. Manny! Oh, thank God. Marcus, who are your friends with the guns?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

177.32

Supposedly. Supposedly? If the rumors are true and he really is still alive... Who the fuck keeps a fucking rhinoceros in fucking Columbia?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1780.024

Okay, well... You see, my friends and I, we were just hunting for jungle cows and... Pablo reaches out and squeezes Charlie's face affectionately.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1891.85

That's what this was all about? The resort was supposed to be a front? I swear I was going to tell you guys. Honestly, I never actually said I'd go through with it.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1938.157

OK, let all of us go, and I will get you a new rhinoceros. You have my word.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1947.464

Then I guess you can kill me. Charlie? What the fuck are you doing?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

1995.23

Pablo stops. What sound is that? The sound of a ball-busting wife who chips away at your self-esteem till you're the shadow of the man you once were. Pablo sits down on the edge of his desk, agitated. Well, you better get on with it. Wouldn't want her to think you have a mind of your own, capable of making its own decisions.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

204.943

Luis! Ernie! Ernie! Luis!

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

343.753

They got my passport. Yeah, mine too. You think it could have been the cleaning staff? Marcus shakes his head with disgust. Again, racist. How is that racist? They had direct access. It's racist because they're foreign. No, no, no. They're not foreign dipshit. We're in their country.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

386.507

Okay, now we can go. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Has anybody else noticed how quiet it is around here?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

494.571

If we survive that long... Oh, come on, can we just take a minute to appreciate everything?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

507.221

All right, I will admit it's definitely creating some sparks, but you'll forgive me if I don't get too excited until we're back on home turf.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

524.177

That's probably just making another pickup. Jesus, it's a roadblock. What if they're looking for us? Relax, we're just tourists on a way home from a weekend bender.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

641.253

Oh, that chicken claw is so not sitting well with me. Charlie, don't look.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

647.452

Where? Oh, we're saved. Oh, not exactly.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

658.998

Oh, my God. It's her. Who? The woman from outside the airport. Your dream girl? Well, I mean, she's not exactly my dream girl. I mean, she's definitely a dream girl, but I wouldn't go.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

673.805

Antosueños! Shut up. What if she comes over?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

691.526

Your dream girl's a fucking cop. Man, do you have a type or what? Seriously? Well, maybe she can help us. Cuff you and slam you to the ground. Not as fun as it sounds, trust me. Oh, God.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

771.847

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my head. Oh, God. Oh, God, what the hell happened?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

784.514

That is so not funny. Well, then you're not going to find this funny either.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

812.565

Come to rack up body count. El Cantador? Where the hell would they get an idea like that? Well, they said, why else would Americans wear suits in the middle of the jungle?

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

830.574

Good news is, this makes you somewhat of a badass. Or a target, same diff. Okay, we gotta get out of here. No shit, Sam's working on it right now.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

867.916

Oh, with him? Oh no, no way. Oh no, not gonna happen.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

947.721

It smells like puke.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

964.482

Please, don't stop on my account. And to sueño, you're here. No, no, no, see, that was... No, no, no, we were just... Sam and Guapito bust a gut.

Table Read

Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

986.417

Oh, my God, I don't know how to thank you.